My wife and I have been married for 2 1/2 years. The relationship never did work since the marriage. There was lack of communication, affection, and trust. We are both older and stubborn. We have been to several different marriage counselors. To no avail - - nothing worked. She told me she wanted a divorce and that I should move out. I moved out and we separated 2 1/2 months ago.
Last weekend, my wife says that she wants to get back together. We have never really had much contact since the separation. We have talked on the phone once or twice a week. She said that she has worked on herself to make the relationship better. I, feeling like a fool… on the other hand, have not. I do not believe that anything changed.
Would you try the marraige one more time?
2007-03-13 09:43:47 · 15 answers · asked by Neo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honestly, I would truly want to move on. Only because too many things were wrong from the very beginning and if you guys don't even really talk that much now; the communication factor is pretty much gone; casuing more probs for the future such as trust, feelings, all of those things that make a relationship work.
2007-03-13 09:55:21 · answer #1 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess it is too late to ask this question to why you married if you two were not at all getting along. From what I get here is that you two need to both work on your marriage together, not for only one person to do it alone, it doesn't work out like that. It could not only be stubborness, but it could also be immaturity as well.
Married couples look for an easy way out by wanting a divorce rather then staying together and fixing the problems.
If your wife wants to come back to 'work out the problems', that means she is wanting to give it her all to stay married to you. But, you have to want it too. You both forgot about the marriage vows you two made to each other, otherwise, you two would have stuck it out to make it work. If she has worked on herself to be the wife that she should be, don't you think that you should do the same to be the husband that you should be to her?
If you have not worked on yourself, then that should tell you, that you are not serious about keeping your marriage together. So, are you saying you married her for the wrong reasons? If you think that you need to make some changes within yourself, then be a man of your words, start making some changes with yourself.....your wife is giving this a second try....don't you owe it to her to do the same? You two are in this together as a team, not a one-man contract.
Not very many wives give their marriage a second chance, instead they run away and never come back. Your wife doesn't want to be another statistic. She loves you and you should love her back!
I would consider on getting these two great books called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. If you say serveral marriage counselors didn't work for you, then why not give this a try. Hopefully, this will be your last resort and hopefully you will continue with your marriage vows to your wife, but she is one strong woman who is willing to keep her man that's for sure.
2007-03-13 17:19:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude........How do you feel about her? You say the marriage never did work.......What has changed? Nothing you say then why? On the other hand, if there was something there that made you get married in the first place, find that and work with it. Unfortunately, as we get older we get very set in our ways, old dog new tricks kind of thing. We also have all this baggage from past relationships, lack of trust is a big one. Soul search, do you want to be married? to her? how far are you willing to go to make it work? Sounds like the two of you need to start over, sounds silly but date, see if you can find what made you get married in the first place. Both of you make a couple of lists, pros and cons, 1. about each other, 2. about your relationship. If the cons list is bigger..........need I say more? Good luck.
2007-03-13 17:07:06 · answer #3 · answered by REBELLYNN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give it a try. I have been separated with my husband since for 4 months ago and just last month we got bcak together. It's diffrent now, because we know where we went wrong and we are definatly working things out because we both missed eachother like crazy. All I could say is give it a try because you never know how things will end up this time around, you have nothing to lose.
2007-03-13 17:08:57 · answer #4 · answered by Yamel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two peas in a pod. You are both older and stubborn and there not many people willing to put up with that. You are who you are, you are both set on your ways and you need to ACCEPT each other just like you are.
I say come back and give it a chance. I see love and kidness in your words, no many people can express so eloquently about their partners, even in a situation like this. Be a fool for love and come back... give it one more try.
Good luck
2007-03-13 16:57:56 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can look yourself in the mirror and say that nothing about you has changed, 1) I applaud you for not fooling yourself; but 2) it's not worth it. The same faults she found in you will still be there. Maybe hers will too, but yours will for certain, because you admit that to yourself.
Stay separated; you two are exes for a reason.
2007-03-13 16:49:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if you both know the real reason(s) why you separated in the first place.
If either you or she (or both) had extramarital affairs that crashed while you two were separated, then neither of you should reunite today due to one or both of you being on the rebound.
2007-03-13 16:50:06 · answer #7 · answered by Aurora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure why not.....otherwise you may always wonder what if...just give it a little more time and see if you two can figure out how to compromise with one another....you will have to do that no matter who you are with so it may be worth it to try with someone you have married...good luck
2007-03-13 16:48:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ABSOLUTELY NOT!
If you had trouble with a car all the time and finally got along without it, are you going to go buy it back. No way in HE double L.
2007-03-13 16:49:09 · answer #9 · answered by Doc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a reason you got married to her, dont you remeber why? give it a try. dont move in yet, work on yourself and let her work to. start off by talking everyday and going out on dates. if it goes well then move back in togetehr and if it all goes well i would suggest renewing your vows
2007-03-13 16:47:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋