I am engaged and am going to take a marriage prep course because I have to. My fiance' and I get along great. We have known eachother for almost 9 years now, we were best friends for the past 5 years or so and have dated for the past 3 years. We live together and we work together. We run a restaurant & we run an ebay business together. We get along amazingly. We barely ever fight and when we do, its just over business related things and we always make up right away.
We are 100% in love, trust eachother 100% and we already live, act and feel like we are married.
I am sooo lucky, I know!
But whenever I say "marriage prep is gonna suck" or "this is gonna be a waste of my time" EVERYBODY jumps down my throat and accuses me of not taking marriage seriously enough.
Why do people act like you CAN'T have a happy marriage without marriage prep? How many marriages fail that do have pre-counseling!? Ya know!? Its insane!
2007-03-13 09:31:33 · 19 answers · asked by snailysnal 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Agree totally, I think the marriage prep stuff is ok for young kids getting married...but cerainly not for a couple who has been together for 9 years. Not only together..but more a partnership than most people have after 20 years of marriage. But ten again...most things when dealing with a religious ceremony are outdated and we just have to deal...or go get married at a JP.
2007-03-13 09:34:36 · answer #1 · answered by ste.phunny 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You CAN have a happy marriage without the "marriage prep" classes, and at the same time, it will not guarantee that you WILL have a good marriage. (It already sounds as if you will.)
But it cannot hurt...especially if you go into it with the right attitude; not already deciding that it will suck, or be a waste of time. With that attitude, it probably will be!
It could be that your friends see something in your man that you don't. Or maybe they are just jealous you have it so good in the relationship department. But none of that really matters; go into the class with an open mind, willing to learn something you may not already know. It could help tweak things in your relationship into a perfection that you did not know was possible. Look at it as a harmless forum to openly discuss things that neither one of you had considered before, not as some sort of threat to your relationship--like the class is going to try and talk you out of marriage altogether!
Believe me, it is not a BAD thing, so do not treat it as such.
2007-03-13 09:46:49 · answer #2 · answered by grapejuice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of respondents here talk a good game - they vote thumbs down very quickly and are very conservative, but of course in real life we know they aren't really like that.
We know just by statistics virtually all of them got married because they had to or were drunk when they did, never had any counseling beforehand, and despise the person they wed.
Take it with a grain of salt - they are living out some kind of alter ego persona - the upright, kind, moral, together person they wish they were in real life. Or they are the same witchy, judgmental, arrogant, self-righteous asshole they are when they get behind the wheel of a car. They never make mistakes. They never run red left turn lights. They never exceed the speed limit (well, if they do, it's because they should've been in Indy car driver and *they* can handle the curve at that speed). It's always everyone else who is the stupid sh*t for brains. NEVER them.
So you're going to hate marriage prep - so? The only people who *like* it are john q. sensitives who are brown-nosing their women. Counseling just teaches people to argue with more venom using fancier name-calling. So, hate it, maybe learn a thing or two, and forget the rest. Feh. And don't let all the wannabes here get you down. Your best revenge is living well.
2007-03-13 13:55:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you should think of it like this...
You know how to drive, you've been doing it for years, you've managed to avoid major collisions and not be injured. But now you're going up to the big league, NASCAR! It's not the same as before...SIMILAR...but not the same. Wouldn't you want some prep before strapping on the helmet. I know I would.
If you think it's insane, then I tend to think that you don't consider as serious as it is and that's a pity.
By the way the divorce rate is around 50% and at least a third of those had pre marriage counseling.
2007-03-13 09:41:20 · answer #4 · answered by Doc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married for three years this Saturday (17-March) and we didn't go through any counseling at all. I totally understand where you're coming from; two people that have been together as long as you two have should pretty much know each other like the backs of their hands.
Maybe the people that hound you about not enjoying pre-marriage counseling are jealous they don't have such a dynamic in their own relationships?
2007-03-13 09:36:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...I have dated my husband for 5 years and been engaged for two and we have been married for almost 3 years. Yeah, I love him and he loves me but we still had marriage counseling before we got married. We shared somethings with each other that needed to be said, and of course, you are saying that you can tell your husband anything without going to counseling which is true. But do you realize that now-a-days ministers are Not even considering marrying people without counseling..period blank! If yall are so much in love, who is it going to hurt to just do it and get it over with? You have achieved something good and it was easy. Honey, don't get all worked up over something that is not a big deal. Yeah, you think it is a waste of time but in reality, it isn't. Just do it and be done.
2007-03-13 09:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by jetta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to go to counseling as well! I dreaded it so bad. It was pretty uncomfortable but we got through it and have been married for two years and together for five years. In Tennessee it is cheaper to get your marriage license if you take 3 hours of the counseling. So we had dinner with the preacher that married us and he talked to us about marriage for 3 hours. Then we had the wedding the next week! A little uncomfortable but relatively painless.
2007-03-13 09:38:50 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is marriage prep attached to some religion? In all my years of helping people legally and counseling I have never heard of such a thing except maybe for the Catholic church. If these peolpe are so interested in your well bing do they make a newborn take pre-born classes? Its your life and you should be able to do with it as you desire, but by taking the classes, youre agreeing with them, but its your life. Good luck
2007-03-13 09:43:01 · answer #8 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what the heck is marriage prep? listen, to me you seem to have enough experience to counsel others on commitment. did they all do the prep thing before they were married?maybe their relationships aren't so great and are afraid yours will sour as well. anyway, you sound in a reallygood place right now, I wish you all the love one can get. you make us all envious. and I wouldn't even do the prep thing. I am married now with my second for 13 years. just knowing he loves me enough to be there when I calm down from pms proves to me our marrieage will last till death.
2007-03-13 09:39:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure that any couple looks forward to these classes, but they really are beneficial. I got more out of mine than I thought I would. These classes are just designed to make sure that getting married is what both of you really want.
I think it's great that you know each other so well - these classes should be a piece of cake. I wouldn't worry about it. Just keep an open mind and get ready to start your life with your future husband.
2007-03-13 09:37:10 · answer #10 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋