To marry or not?

Question

Hi,
I didn't articulate properly my question - http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070312093911AAIDjkf

I started all this dancing stuff only recently. I am a virgin at 35. I lost 10 years due to my illness. Now I met a girl ‘A’. A has now gone to another city and will be back soon. She says she will make every fantasy come true when she returns in 2 months but it has to be a temporary relationship. Shes 22, pretty. I am getting older. The best girls get married before 30. If I don’t get married now I may never get married. My parents want me to get married in 1 month to this plain looking girl B who is 33 yrs old. In India people are very conservative and arranged marriages are a norm and getting married at a old age is not easy. Should I marry B who I am not attracted to. Or should I have a blast with A knowing that it wont last. I may never get to marry anyone else because B may no longer be around. Should I risk being alone in the future for pleasure now.
Ravi

Answer 1

you should marry with"B" because as you know that will not last forever. so why u want to wait for her? their will be no benefits for you. and as you know that your parents won't think bad for you.

Answer 2

1> Propose 'A'. Ask her if she would marry you. If she turns you down, she was never meant for you.
2> the perception that best girls get married before 30 is wrong.
3> Looks don't matter, attitude does. So it really doesn't matter if 'B' has plain looks. Look at her character, her compatibility with you.
4> The concept that Indians are conservative is wrong. Arranged marriage is not a norm. If you are wise enough and could choose the best compatible partner for yourself, go ahead. You just need to prove it to your parents that you are wise enough to make such important decisions.
5> Getting married at 35 may not be easy, it it's not as difficult either. Plenty of guys marry at around 35. It's ok.
6> I think you are mentally not prepared for marriage and fear that by the time you will prepare yourself, time would run out. In that case, nobody can help you out. If you are not ready for marriage at all, you cannot be happy with it, whether you marry 'A' or 'B'

All the best...

:-)

Answer 3

What you said about the best girls getting married before 30, is NOT true. There are some wonderful women who are over 30 and have not yet married because they know the cost of marriage in terms of commitment etc, and they have decided to wait until they meet a man worth marrying, instead of being a coward and settling. You are a 35 year old man - act like it. Be responsible and brave. You should not be at an age where your parents should be picking your wife for you. Especially, someone who you do not love - making the marriage miserable in the long run.
Furthermore, you planning to just have sex with this woman you are attracted to, is just plain stupid and irresponsible. Premarital sex hurts both people. And there is no such thing as sex with no strings attached. My advice is to wait - a wonderful woman will come along - don't be a coward and settle. And have honor for yourself and your body by not just having sex with the woman you are attracted to - just for the sake that you are a virgin. You are a virgin at 35 - Horray for you.

Answer 4

Not being married doesnt necessarily mean being alone. I know that may not seem very logical, but there are many people who have what is called a "Common Law marriage" that allows them many of the benefits of marriage without the certificate. You dont really sound that interested in marriage anyways, i mean aside from your perception of that keeping you from being unhappy. If what you are looking for is sex, you dont need to get married to have it, as A let you know. Im not saying thats the best thing, but marriage isnt for everyone. If you are only looking to get married because it is customary, then think twice, the marriage rate is dropping and there are more and more divorces. if you KNOW you arent going to be happy, why risk 50% of all of your assets to a woman after you get a divorce? She gets half all because you thought you HAD to get married. Dont do it unless you find out you WANT to be with that person. Sex is sex, Marriage is marriage...they are two seperate things...but your assets, your money, your car, even your dog, can all be split in half by a marriage gone bad....think about it....

Answer 5

I agree with fancyface. I think what she is saying is very mature and you being an adult man should think maturely. Girl A is out of question...........in times of frustration it difficult to think clearly..........maybe that is why you are thinking of her. Dont mess up your own life, please.
Also before you decide that you dont want to marry B, meet her a couple of times, talk to her, you may just find the friend and partner you are looking for. In face since you both are of a similar age, she might be in the best position to understand you. Like you she may have had some problems of her own...that is why she too is in search.
ALso it is myth that all good people get married by 30. My neighbour was 34 when she married a year ago.....she just took time to find the right guy..........l knew her for years, she is an awsome girl.

Answer 6

What's with these 35, 33 and 22. Look at all those famous personalities and all those hollywood stars. Almost all them have a age gap of a century but still they are having a blast and a very healthy family life with healthy kids.
................Stay healthy age will be never be a issue its all in the mind.

Answer 7

It is better to marry someone you are in love with than to just settle on anyone else due to pressure of being alone in the future. Have fun in life now and when you least expect it you will find that right person.

Answer 8

while considering B you got to think about your parents who helped you while you were sick for 10yrs. And you got to think about yourself whether you can support yourself if you go against their will. You know very well how these matters are dealt in the family.
For A know the circumstance that she became to know you.
consult a friend and someone close to you in your family and decide. Remember its not about being plain or pretty. Its about long lasting loving relationship and building a loving future. Hope you do well this time.

Answer 9

this is your life!!! why are you allowing your parents to tell you who you can marry. if your not attracted to girl B, then don't marry her. as for girl A, having sex with a 22 year old sounds like robbing the cradle to me. she may be hot and willing now, but when you get a little older, she's going to be looking for a hot young stud.

Answer 10

I personaly think that u should marry 'B' beause ur 35 and ur gf 'A' is 22.May be she loves u but she will nlot b able to settle wth u after marriage coz ur thinking n in her's is lots of different.the second girl 'B' is perfect for u should not waste ur time by wating for someone who is just not of ur age.i know tht age does not matter but just think for once "what if after marring 'A' u will not be satisfied mentaly?will u suffer or divorce her?and if think if u marry 'B' u will be more happy and satisfied mentaly.and dont forget 1 thing parents always wants good for their children dont disappoint thm listen to 1ce.

Answer 11

1) I pity this girl "B" if she ends up marrying u..
2) Are u really 35.?? Maaan, u dont speak like someone of your age.
3) "A" is a smart girl, she probably realised what a moron you are and did the smartest thing she could do, flee.
4) Please grow up !!

ThankYou