Pregnant, Husband moving in with new girlfriend?

Question

OK, not quite sure where to start. Me and My husband have been married for 5 years and have to wonderful children together. I found out in October that he has been talking to a girl that he met. I told him to stop or I was done. He said he would stop. Come to found out that he is still talking to her. I also found out that I was pregnant. Spoke to the girl to explain the situation and she said she would stop calling. Now my husband being my husband can talk anyone into anything so I know he told her all she wanted to hear and they have still been talking. I have decided to take my kids and move out and he informed me this morning that he would be moving in with her and her 3 year old. I am in total disbelief as I thought once he knew i was pregnant that it would have shook him into realising how important his family is, but alas it has not. Now the kids are going to have to meet her and however strong I am this is one thing I cannot get past. What should i do?

Answer 1

Let him go. You laid the ulitmatum, and i feel sorry for your kids. He is gone, the grass always looks greener until you get there. You should just hold your head high, be the better woman and move forward best of luck to you and your children

Answer 2

What I find interesting is that this is probably only half the story. Yes your husband should not have run off to be with pretty much a stranger, but There must be more to the story than what you have described. Why would he just get off the couch and leave especially when you're pregnant? And I wonder why he was talking to this other woman to begin with? There are questions that need to be answered before I can or anyone else can answer honestly. It is so easy to get on the bandwagon and say sue him for alimony and child support to get revenge but does that change anything? Is he the type to just walk away from the kids? Sorry, but I find it weird that someone would walk away from a few kids and one on the way just for a new woman. He could have done what a lot of other men do and just have a woman on the side. But to flat out leave his pregnant wife and kids??? There is more to this story and I would love to know it.

Answer 3

So sorry to hear about this awful situation your in,and the awful idiot that has walked out on you.
First of all get some family or friends around to give you some support,this will stop you from going into depression.
This obviously is good as any stress can cause complication with your pregnancy.
Secondly his contact with the 2 children should be under your guidelines and not his.
This means no contact with his new girlfriend as this will only confuse them as they are'nt old enough to know whats going on.
Tell him he walked away from them and if he does'nt like your rules on his access to the children,you will see him in court and until then keep away .
I know this seems harsh but do you really wont the children thinking they have 2 mothers,and another brother or sister.
So your children don't have to meet her as you have feared,and there's nothing he can do about it.
Seek legal advice,this is to help you with finance for your childrens upkeep including your up and coming birth.
And also to put ground rules down about him seeing the other children WITHOUT the homewrecker hes shacked up with.
This is'nt about revenge on your ex,this is about protecting your children from the damage he may cause by what he has done to them and you.
Be strong and stick to your guns on this or he'll walk all over you and you will feel alot worse than you already do.
I know by other answers that people think you should'nt feel ill will against the new girlfriend,but she was well aware of what she was up to.
You told her, and she still persude your husband any decent woman would have walked away knowing he was married with children.
So now its your turn,walk away and don't look back and you and your children will come out the other side stronger than ever.
Your ex is a scumbag and treat him for what he is and don't give an inch on his contact with YOUR children.

Good luck ,be strong and you will always have someone to talk to right hear as you can see by the ammount of responses.

Answer 4

Geez, I am so sorry you are in this situation. What a pig! Hopefully you have lots of family and friend support, but that's what will see you through this. Remember the baby you are carrying is innocent, so don't put him or her at risk in any way, though I know you are under bizarre stress right now.
If there is any way in your state that you could specify that he have visitation without the "girl" being there, that would obviously be best. I've heard of either states or provinces where this could be done because it would be putting your children in an immoral place, since dad and the girl are living together, so the court for visitation would back you up. (hope that made sense).

Answer 5

I am really sorry to hear this is going on for you. I've been in a similar position... Sometimes people make decisions for us, and we just have to figure out where to go from there. There isn't a whole lot you can do besides be the mature, sane parent (which he obviously is leaving all on you to do). They sound like they deserve each other and will make each other a complete mess in the near future. Wish them well and let him lie in the bed he has chosen to make! You stay strong and do what you need to do to take care of the kids and yourself.

My (ex)husband and I separated when I was around 5 months pregnant and his girlfriend that he lived with said THEY were going to fight for custody- I could've killed them! But as time would have it, I went on about my business, sued him for child support remarried, now to the love of my life, and I couldn't be happier.

Life has a way of working out. Keep your chin up!

Answer 6

Take your kids and never look back,it's obvious he doesn't care for you or your kids,you'd think you being pregnant would make him see that you and your children are more important,that this other girl.I would divorce any man I'd marry if he did this to me.Have you thought about this option?I mean he did leave you,he also has committed adultery,on the grounds of divorce.As for the kids meeting her,there is nothing you can do,as sooner or later,they'll have to meet,just get it over and done with,then you can start a new life with your kids,away from him and her.GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

How dare he do this to you. This man is the scum of the earth and doesn't deserve to be part of your children's lifes. See a (female) solicitor as soon as possible and find out about getting financial help too. Cut him out of your life. If this girl realises what he's doing and still wants to be with him, then she's even more stupid and ridiculous than he is. What a waste of space and a poor excuse for a man. He'll be the looser in the end - people like this always are. I don't even know you, but i'm so angry that rats like this seem to get it easy. Best of luck xxx

Answer 8

i think your man is in a fresh new relationship and he's heads over heels. so he's totally controlled by his 'little head' not his 'big head'. very sorry to hear your situation and you may think nothing will ever get worse than this. but think this way that at least you will have a beautiful child and being single mom who doesn't have a hassle to deal with a lousy hubby. I know he'll regret it and he'll come back to you begging you to take him back. just keep your chin up and don't compromise your principles. but most important of all now is to show that you deserve better and you don't take his treatment. find family support and be strong and seek counseling. when you hit rock bottom, the path will pick up after that. good luck with you!

Answer 9

Sweetheart I'm sorry.

First if I were you I would get into some counseling just for yourself because this will be a tough time for you.

Do you have a best friend or your mom someone who can be there supporting you every step of the way and to stand up for you if you need it?

Your husband is being completely selfish..even if he didn't want to be with you anymore. He is thinking the grass is greener on the other side. He's not thinking about what this is going to do to your kids emotionally.

You need to be strong for them and when times get tough just think how much you love them and how much they love you and will be there for you because their love is unconditional.

Stay Strong...

Answer 10

Get a lawyer yesterday and get a child support order in place before he knocks her up. Next, find a counselor or go to a church and find someone you can talk to. You need a third party to listen to you so that you can start to work some of this out emotionally as you now have to be a mother and father to your two children, but you're also pregnant. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 11

regrettably they have been doing more beneficial than speaking. you do not ought to leave your position and your little ones can stay of their personal residence. he's wondering at the same time with his D*** so first basically recognize that he at this aspect isn't considering you being pregnant or what that's doing to his young ones. i'd discover out what you may do to save your little ones from having to fulfill this lady so i'd recommend looking for council. this should be below your words and not in any respect his. also if that's any convenience this received't very last including her. i'm no longer particular what the statistics are in adult men who leave their better halves (particularly pregnant better halves) for different women human beings. i visit allow you to know that because i replaced into easily a kind of ladies human beings that idea that he may stay with me and he did not he went back to his estranged spouse. i am hoping it truly is a few convenience. God bless you and your little ones