OK, divorced couple, only child, joint custody, new girlfriend for the dad. The mom seems to try to disrupt scheduling, etc. by leaving town, changing arrangements. The girlfriend wants the dad to "shut her down" by saying he can't take the child when the mom goes out of town on business. He tries to negotiate, but it's never forceful enough to suit the girlfriend. There's no one else around who can watch the child. What should the dad do?
2007-03-13 09:30:08 · 9 answers · asked by Chris C 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The child should always come first. I dated a guy who had kids, & he would cancel dates with me because he had to be there for his kids. Not only did I respect him for being a Daddy before all else, I wouldn't have accepted being put before his children, who I later learned to love. You & your child are a package deal, & if the girlfriend can't accept that, then maybe it's time you found a woman, who won't come between the two of you. As for your ex-wife, she's probably behaving in this manner because she thinks that you put the girlfriend before the child, or she could just be exhibiting jealous behavior. Did she have such a busy schedule before the two of you divorced? Is she reasonable when you talk to her about this chaotic schedule. Because if she's just trying to hurt you, she's probably succeeding, but she's hurting the child as well & it's your duty to tell her this.
2007-03-13 10:00:32 · answer #1 · answered by beenabytch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? You are a FATHER - that means being there for your child no matter what! Your gf comes 2nd to your child or at least she should. The fact that your gf is even suggesting that you not take your child is ridiculous and you should probably look at getting rid of her asap.
What you do need to do is talk to your ex and try to work out a better schedule, especially if your ex travels. This may mean that you have more of your daughter on a regular basis, as to accommodate everyone's schedules. You should also let your ex know that if her plans change she needs to remember to take you into consideration sometimes. But regardless, it's your child that is in the middle of this mess and the child shouldn't be feeling like she isn't welcome or being bounced around - your child should come before anything else.
2007-03-13 09:40:39 · answer #2 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The dad's first priority is the child. Girlfriends, partners, wives, they come and go but a child is forever. This girlfriend has to understand that this child comes first, and even if the mom is being a flake you still have to care for the child. That's what happens when you have kids, your life changes. Maybe it's time to lose this girlfriend, she either needs to be more understanding or needs to leave. You can find someone else is going to stand by you.
Good luck!
2007-03-13 09:34:58 · answer #3 · answered by Chrystal 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Aint going to win, until your ex finds a man and that fills her time, your life is hell bound, I am glad I am old now and dont have to worry about it, but the minute I got a divorce from my second the first wife showed up to talk, that was weird,
Your main concern is for your kid, regardless of what the ex does, your GF is going to have to understand that,
You might try setting some ground rules with your ex and tell her to go out of town when you have the kid, or you will keep the kid full time, woman hate that
2007-03-13 09:34:56 · answer #4 · answered by rich2481 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The girlfriend needs to butt out. No offense but it sounds like she's trying to start ****. At the end of the day that kid is the dad's responsibility and he should be happy when he has to watch the kid (there are some guys out there who are not that lucky). If he is negotiating with his ex and trying to keep things civil there is nothing wrong with that.
2007-03-13 09:36:07 · answer #5 · answered by Vivita 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell his girlfriend that that child was in his life before her,and will probably be in his life when shes not.He needs to take responsibility and watch his child.He needs to quit letting his girlfriend tell him when and when he cant have his child around.That kid is way more important than a relationship,and that child will be hurt if they find out that the dad is choosing his girlfriend over them.
2007-03-13 09:38:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dad can only do what he has been doing earlier. He is a bad father. Do not expect anything from him.
2007-03-13 09:38:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to get a court order so everyone on the same page its not fair to your girl friend and if you care for her you do what right my ex try the same thing but i say sorry i have to follow the court order
2007-03-13 09:36:45 · answer #8 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Scream. =)
2007-03-13 09:35:05 · answer #9 · answered by Gabriele 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋