Is it better for a younger or older child to go through a divorce?

Question

I have a 2 year old daughter, and she LOVES her daddy sooo much. I feel so bad that I'm even thinking about taking her away from him, but I don't love him. There will still be visitation, but won't be the same for her. I just wondered if it's easier when they're younger to divorce your spouse.

Falling back in love will not help. He's a drunk and a verbal abuser!!

I don't think a divorce will ruin her life, but instead make it to where she doesn't have to see her parents fight all the time.

As much as I hate to do this, I have to put it to a vote. There were sooo many great answers. Thanks so much to everyone who answered!!

Answer 1

It is going to be horrible for her whether she is young or older. Maybe you can try falling back in love with your husband instead of ruining his and your daughters life.

*OOOOKKKKAAAYYY Don't you remember these words? FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE, TILL DEATH DO US PART?

*You are going to pick the answer that tells you exactly what you want to hear anyways. But you should at least try to work things out.

Answer 2

My kids were 4 and 5 when I first thought about divorce, I was very unhappy and he had cheated on me. I stayed in my unhappy marriage for 12 more years - BIG MISTAKE! I think that it may have even been harder on them when they were 16 and 17 - in high school every teenager what's their family to come off as perfect. I spent those 12 years with my world wrapped around my kids, I was the PERFECT mother, but my marriage was a facade - I really wish that i would have left when they were younger. My nephew is now 7, he was 3 when his parents divorced, of course he wishes that his parents were together. He is in sports and both parents are at every game. My sister is has a boyfriend who has 3 kids and my nephew just loves them, so in the end he has adjusted better then my kids have.
Good luck - just remember it don't take much for kids to be happy, if their parents are happy they will be just fine

Answer 3

When they are young, they're more dependant on their parents, but it can also be tough after the children are aged. If you can avoid it at all possible, try to stick with your husband until your daughter is in high school or college... try to provide her with a steady home environment for her childhood.

But... if you must make a choice between the two, I would go now. If your husband is causing enough trouble to cause a divorce, then he certainly won't be a positive influence to have around while she's growing up... she may pick up on his negative habits. Although it may be traumatizing for your daughter now, think of what a struggle it would be if you did it at an age where she understands the whole seperation. That could cause more trouble, and might lead to large problems for her, like depression. I would try to do it when she's younger, if possible, because I think it would be a short term sadness but long term benefit.

I hope everything works out! :)

Answer 4

Okay, sounds like you are in a hard spot. Heres what you should do. First, don't plan on getting a divorce just yet, but I would leave for the time being, as he is abusive. Give him some time to sober up and grow emotionally and spiritually. He will (hopfully) eventually realize what he has done and come back repentive. Then you can see how much he has changed, welcome him back with welcoming arms and love the man more that he has become than he was before he was a drunk.

Answer 5

I don't think it's easy at any age. I know someone who was basically an adult when her parents divorced, and it was still devastating. An adult child might be able to comprehend it better, but it is still a loss.

That being said, you have to live your life. If you truly think your marriage is beyond repair, then you have to do what you think is right. I would just make sure that I have tried every possible thing to salvage the marriage, because once you commit to a divorce, you can't go back.

Answer 6

I think you are wise to admit that your marriage is over rather then try and beat it into the ground until your both anymore miserable. Your daughter will always love her daddy and appreciate that. I hope that he is a better daddy then husband..for both you and your child. She will be ok with everything; she may be understandably upset at first but in time she will adjust. Good luck!

Answer 7

I was young when my parents divorced and it has never bothered me, it was just natural way of life, my older siblings to this day hold resentment either towards my mom or dad, and still blame one or the other, so I would say when they are younger.

Sort of like my oldest, misses living in Florida whereas my younger doesn't even remember it. Not the same but you get what I'm saying don't you?

Answer 8

I think it is better the child is young. It is good that you see she loves her daddy. You just make sure they keep a good relationship and move on. She doesn't need to see the first man in her mistreating her first role model. I think it will only lead to a bad self image later.

Answer 9

It's painful at any age. If you are going to divorce, make sure that you never talk bad about each other to the child and make sure that they know that they still have a mommy and daddy.

Answer 10

it's great that your daughter loves her daddy.

you don't.

why stay in a bad situation? children can feel the tension and stress when their parents are unhappy.

it sounds as if you have enough respect left for your husband and realize your daugher needs the relationship with him. i'm sure that you can both continue to be good parents, living separate lives...

good luck

Answer 11

What is best for the child is to see both of her parents doing well and taking care of themselves whether they are married or not. What is not good for the child is for the parents to stay married for the sake of the children only.