Has anyone been hurt pretty bad in a long term relationship where it was hard to see a good relationship that is right in front of their eyes. I have been honest with the people I have been dating, and I have been working on my own insecurities so I don't avoid bringing it into a relationship. For the time I have just maintained a friendship status with prospective gf's, but a part of me is scared of missing out on something special. Any advice from people that have been there? For the time being, I am just trying to take things slow. Is it one of those things where when you meet that one person, something just takes over?
2007-03-13 08:51:33 · 8 answers · asked by Need Answers 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey honey,
Yes, There are lots of people that have been hurt very badly!! I am just 1 of many. And it is hard to move on when pain from the last relationship is still there. It makes you wary of other people and you tend to watch for the signs you wish you had seen before in the other relationship. But as hard as it is. Don't compare you prospective gf to the last one. I am happiply married now, but before I met my husband I was in a relationship that the last person I was with was not at all honest with me. I was in fact engaged to him. I was cleaning my car when I found some legal papers and realized they were divorce papers. He had told me he had been divoerceed for 4-5 months be fore he meet me. He wasn't. He was still married to his wife when he asked me to marry him. So from then on I was convinced that every man I was with was unfaithul and lying to me. So when I met my husband, I basiclly put him through hell because I was convinced he would turn out like all of the others I had dated.( Just so you know I was only in a few relatinships. The controlling one, the cheating one, and then the one I just desribed). Anyways enough about me, to answer your question, If you are with someone and you feel like your afriad of missing out on something, then you must know that she is not for you. and yes, when I meet my husband, I knew that first time that this one was the one. That I had know him all my life and that feeling that I had found whatever part of me was missing. He is my soul mate!!! So may God Bless you and help guide you to that special person. good luck!!!
2007-03-13 09:17:10 · answer #1 · answered by irish_pixie07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me it seems that there are so many aspects of a relationship that finding the right person is kind of hard sometimes you are great friends , but you just don't click in bed, or all you have is great passion and don't get along alot of the other times. It's great when you have both.......and your families like your choice, and your friends and neighbors like your new girlfriend. But the great sex thing will usually hold a relationship together for a long time. My point is that if you already get along as friends ,then the passion part just usually has to be explored in order to find out if you click together.
2007-03-13 09:07:25 · answer #2 · answered by josified 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I waited for a guy for over a year while he was in Iraq just to find out he was cheating on me the whole time. We dated and then he deployed and we agreed to stay together. Well he had several online girlfriends and dumped me when he got back to sleep with some of them. I feel your pain. I had this really great guy that treated me like a princess that was there for me and i just threw it away. I wish alot of the time I would have been able to see that sooner before i messed it all up. I like the whole friend thing but just dont get too friendly. once a girl puts you in her friends zone you are stuck there. Show them you are interested but just not ready at this time. Or even talk to them and try taking it real slow.
2007-03-13 09:04:12 · answer #3 · answered by Worried wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the advice is don't talk about past relationships... whenever you are with anyone who does... just say... I understand you went thru a tough relatioship, break up, bs, whatever, but from this day forward I am looking to make my life anew... I don't feel that reliving the past is any help, I much rather have a fresh start of getting to know you without you or the so called other may have said..... (there will be times when you can't avoid talking about the past ... but I believe in the beginning of a relationship... just isn't necessary)
2007-03-13 08:59:44 · answer #4 · answered by ﺸÐïåMóñdÐôññåﺸ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have been hurt badly in a past relationship. It takes time to recover so take your time. You won't miss out on anything by rushing into something other than another bad break up.
Don't push yourself and don't worry about tomorrow. Live in today.
Good luck.
2007-03-13 08:57:40 · answer #5 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get in a "growth group" that will bring both emotional support to help you grieve your hurt and also challenge you to make some changes in your dating choices. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend have some great books and resources on these subjects. It's very healthy and important for a satisfying relational life!!
http://www.cloudtownsend.com/
Good luck!!
2007-03-13 09:01:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you meet that special someone you will know it. It's when you find someone who doesn't argue a lot with you, who has many things in common, or who you know well. Something just clicks and keeps you together when you find that special someone ;)
2007-03-13 08:56:32 · answer #7 · answered by Enchanting Curse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it hurts so much that it mars your ability to have a healthy relationship now. you should frist seek reason from your first girlfriend, uderstand why, forgive and then you can move on
2007-03-13 08:56:53 · answer #8 · answered by butterflyinlove 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋