why do some women think it is alright to steal your husband?

Question

she tried she failed but now will not admit defeat the affair is over it is the second time she has done this to me he came back each time have i not been through enough no it seems she is still trying to destroy me any advice

Answer 1

I think you are missing the point. The issue here is your husband, not the other woman. If he didn't give her the opportunity, she wouldn't be there. End of story.

Answer 2

This was like reading my life story. but my mother used to say" if there was no bad women there would be no bad men"
A guy can ask but if a woman says no it goes no further. Men have brains in peculiar places, and these brains take some controlling. warned the other woman off, telling her husband what she was up to, she got a black eye from him. I took my husband back a few times against all advice. It was hard, each time he went out or was late I agonised as to where he was. Here we are 25 years later, happy,contented and with a good life. Best wishes for the future whatever you decide.

Answer 3

A person has free will, a person cannot be "stolen" if they dont want to be stolen. Why are you hanging onto your husband when hes done this to you twice? This is not about who is the better woman and who wins the man, this is about your husband betraying you. If hes done it to you twice, then it sounds like he has feelings for this woman....wouldnt that be knocking your self esteem around? Wouldnt you be wondering if he is thinking about her when he makes love to you? Wouldnt you be wondering where he is when he is late home from work, or out with buddies having a drink? This is a huge dilemma, and you are thinking totally from an emotional view point. From here on in, your marriage is going to be a mess.....you would have had to loose trust in your husband....you certainly would have lost your self esteem, so what is left for you to be able to continue this marriage the way it was before he had the affair.

If the affair is really over, then how come this other woman is still trying to destroy you...how can that be? If the affair was really over, then your husband would have made it perfectly clear to her and she wouldnt be hanging on. I think there is something more than what he has told you. Maybe he has asked her to wait for him because he doesnt know whether it will really work out with you.

If I were you, I would be putting some stipulations of your own on your husband. Firstly, and this is very important....insist that both of you attend a good, qualified marriage guidance counsellor because I dont know of many marriage where this has happened, that will survive without professional intervention........there are so many issues associated with infidelity, and if they are not addressed now, it will be forever on your mind and thoughts, when you least expect it will pop into your head. He may be back with you, but nothing will ever be the same again and you most definitely need counselling if this marriage stands a hope of surviving.

This was not just a one-off thing, this was a pretty serious relationship he had with this other woman if he left you for her twice. Did he come back to you because you put pressure on him? Did he come back because he felt responsible and guilty? People will do things for those reasons....F.O.G.....Fear, Obligation, and Guilt......is that enough to keep a relationship strong and healthy?

While I understand the hurt you are feeling, I would really be questioning your motives of why you want your husband to be with you when it is obvious his mind is somewhere else.

Something serious is lacking in your marriage and if not dealt with then he will probably continue to see this woman, maybe not now, but give it time. Its not the other woman who is the problem, its whatever was lacking in your marriage...thats why I strongly suggest counselling....it is the only way things are going to be sorted.

Maybe, if you want to hang onto your husband so badly, then move.....start afresh somewhere else, but even then, without counselling, this woman will stay with the both of you for a very long time, maybe not in the flesh, but this was not just a casual affair, it was serious, and you will always be wondering if he is thinking about her. You need some help to deal with this, you cant do it on your own.....too much damage has been done to your self esteem to even think you are going to handle this well.

I wish you the very best....dont hang onto your husband just to "win".....love yourself a bit, and expect to be loved the same in return.....I hope it works out well for you.

I usually wish people strength to do the right thing, but in your case, I will wish you luck, because its only luck that is going to see this marriage survive.....it is strength you will need if you say enough is enough and move on with you life. I say, let your husband go....he might be with you physically, but you would have to question where his feelings are.....good luck.

Answer 4

A Husband can't be stolen, as the saying goes you can't make someone love you. He obviously wants to keep this other woman around. As much as it will hurt you should let him go. You probably want to let him go, but don't want to be alone when he is with her. I am going through a similar thing myself at the moment. Yes it kills me to think of someone else with my ex girlfriend and my young daughter but I could not force her to be with me as much as I wanted to. I let her go and acted like an adult, and on the outside we have a fab relationship and my daughter is benefitting - inside I am still devastated. I have moved home and job and I am very lonely it is frightening but I know I am a nice person and that there is someone else out there for me.
Sometimes separating people makes them want each other more once you let them have each other they see each others faults a lot more clearly!!

Let me know how you get on, look after yourself.

Answer 5

You are right to a point... I do believe that there are women out there who believe that it is ok to get involved with another womens man.... it happened to me about a year a go, she deffinatly chased him... (girl at work). I left him and it killed me but.....

with hindsight i look back now and realise that it is the best thing that I ever did... someone said something to me that makes alot of sense, 'you cannot break up a happy home'.

You deserve to be with someone that is so madly in love with you that he would not consider straying. I sorry hun but your husband is a scumbag. you really deserve better...

its up to yourself darlin but seriously think about this, is this what you want for the rest of your life...

Good Luck x x

Answer 6

she isn't trying to destroy u, she just wants your husband, she knows what she is doing is wrong, but could care less, she only knows what she wants and may try anything to get it. it may be a competition thing with her, just to see if she can do it. maybe u need to get a restraining order, or your husband does. your husband could stop it if he wanted, by telling her right in front of u who he loves, and upon hearing that, from the horses mouth, she will probably leave u alone after that, too much humiliation after she hears that.

Answer 7

It takes two to tango and I agree with pinkspar. It is your husband who is at fault here, he is the one who is cheating on you, not her. She hasn't dragged him off kicking and screaming has she? He has gone on his own accord. Do you really want to stay with a man who keeps cheating on you? You know each time he comes back he will do it again, if not with her, then with someone else. Next time be strong and tell him to sling his hook. You must know deep down that your marriage is over. Then sort your life out and find someone who will want to be with you and love you and not numerous others. Not easy I know but you will gain self respect and confidence. Good luck x

Answer 8

Take this advice, leave that sorry excuse for a man alone. Let her have him, but, as soon as you don't won't him, she won't either. The only way this woman can destroy you is if you let her, and, by the way, it's sounds more to me like your husband is the one trying to destroy you.

Answer 9

Okay, yeah she was wrong and have to deal with what she did.
But, you know what - he was the one that was most at fault.

He has a commitment to you, Not her.
I think if you begin to understand that, you will wake up and realize that this woman can't make this man do anything that he does not want to do.

Be careful, because he may not be through cheating on you, especially since he recognizes that you won't be mad at him, but the other woman.

Answer 10

advice: get in your head that your husband is the one who allowed that woman into his life.

why she does it? because he is letting her. if she knows she has no chance, she would move on but since your husband keeps the door open, she is trying to get what she wants.

why you take him back? you love him or you want to show her that no matter what he'll stay with you? get this: don't let ANYONE walk all over your DIGNITY.

I know it's easy for me to say all this since I'm not in your shoes but if I was, I would forgive him if he really try to change but if he is cheating on you over and over again, I don't see the point of staying married. you deserve much better!

Answer 11

I guess at the end of the day you can be thankful that your husband is having an affair with a woman and not a man.

Otherwise, he sounds like a spineless coward.

And you, my dear, you are either shark fodder, or jellyfish.


as for the other woman, a barracuda.

good for you for not giving up though.