6 months ago, got some idea in his head that i had cheated on him at work, and now that seems to be all that's on his mind. he now seems to explode extremely easily and thinks i deserve to be treated badly because i "cheated". i really didn't cheat on him, and i love him, but this is crazy! one day he's calling me telling me that he loves me, the next he's screaming at me telling me what a bad person i am. this is all in his head! he has lied to me in the past, and now it seems like he feels i have to have my faults as well. he's just out of control with his anger, he's become very paranoid, and his self esteem has lowered extremely. i think he might have a kind of paranoia or bipolor disorder. i'm not sure...and how do i convince him of this, and to go to the doctor?
2007-03-13 08:24:29 · 13 answers · asked by designerj 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You will not be able to convince him of any disorder. One of two things have happened. One, something or someone has tripped his jealous trigger and he has an unrealistic fear that you either have or will cheat on him. Or two, he has cheated on you and he knows how much he cares for you, and knowing that, he has convinced himself that you had to have done the same thing. It sounds to me like he hates himself and knows you deserve better, because he has cheated on you. This happens a lot in relationships, one of the two cheats and they are convinced that if they can fall, then the other one has surely fallen as well...
2007-03-13 08:33:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
To tell you the truth sweetie if he has either of those things he can be potentially very dangerous. I'm sure you don't want to be the next missing person on the 9 o'clock news and it may come to that if he does have a serious mental disorder and doesn't get treated. He does very much need to be evaluated. If I were you I'd give him an ultimatum. Either he seeks professional help or you're gone but please, please don't do this when you are alone have someone with you just in case he flips out. It's not worth being in an abusive relationship and psychological abuse is sometime worst than physical abuse and that's what he's doing to you by putting you down and telling you you're a bad person. HTH
2007-03-13 15:48:30 · answer #2 · answered by mercy910 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't be able to convince him or anything. Your boyfriend is treating you like crap one day and nice the next. You need to break off this unhealthy relationship. He wants your total attention and that's why he is accusing you of cheating. These are the signs you should be paying attention to. He is on his way to becoming an abuser. He has low self esteem and nothing you say or do will help him with that. You haven't done anything to him personally, he is just like all the other men with low self esteem. Leave him now or pay the price for it later. Thank you and may GOD bless.
2007-03-13 15:33:29 · answer #3 · answered by cookie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The worst thing you can do it tell him that he has a mental illness and needs to go to the doctor. An individual can only get help if they want to and are motivated by it. You telling him that he's crazy or has a disorder will likely only make things worse for him.
My advice to you would be to stay strong and continue to show him that you care and are there with him, not looking in on the outside. Be supportive and understanding. It's okay to tell him that he's got it wrong and you'd never cheat on him. It sounds like he has insecurity issues, which is okay, but it's important that you show extra support in his times of need instead of less support. It can be easy to show less support since he is so hard to get along with at these times, but what he really needs is for you to be his security.
He'll learn
2007-03-13 15:33:31 · answer #4 · answered by blakester 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the best way is to be honest, let him know how you feel. Let him know that you think he has a problem and that it is affecting the relationship. Tell him how you feel about him and what the relationship means to you, but also let him know that you're not happy with the current situation. If he feels for you as much as you feel for him, I'm sure that he would be willing to do what ever to fix the relationship.
2007-03-13 15:36:35 · answer #5 · answered by ga-nat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pardon the pun, but I don't think he is ready for a "committed" relationship with you. My ex-wife had the same paranoia. Even though it wasn't true, all that mattered was that it was the truth in her head. My advice to you is to follow my lead and get out of the relationship. No ifs, ands, or buts - do it now.
2007-03-13 15:32:23 · answer #6 · answered by Who Am I 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He definitely is paranoid. He needs professional help.
If thats not it. Figure out if hes the one cheating or maybe he wants to end the relationship and wants to pin the blame on you.
2007-03-13 15:56:33 · answer #7 · answered by boricua_chick_21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something wrong. My friend's husband is bipolar and this sounds very similar. From what she has told me, bipolar people often don't think they need help. When he is calm, you can try to tell him you think something is wrong and ask him to see a professional. If he won't listen, I think you should think about leaving. That is not a good situation to be in.
2007-03-13 15:32:43 · answer #8 · answered by iceemama 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's crazy as a goat. Kick him out and get a new one. Boyfriends come a dime a dozen.
2007-03-13 15:47:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know if he has a mental ilness or not, it sounds almost like he is feeling guilty about something and trying to turn it around onto you, if you are going to try to get him to get help, then i would do it when you are happy together, and just lightly bring it up, but it isnt right for him to be acting like that, if you wanted to you could give him an ultimatium, like get help or i cant do this anymore, something like that, its hard to do but it would be thy best good luck :)
2007-03-13 15:34:54 · answer #10 · answered by jenn c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋