I am 22 yrs old i just graduated from college and have been married for only 4 months.I have a son who is four years old from a prior relationship this was never really an issue till recent events.I have never told anyone who my sons biological father is and never thought it would come up.Unfortunatley it did come up last week while at a wedding run-through for one of my hubbys old friends from high school.The friend in question turned out to be my sons biological father even though he has no idea he only remebers me as an ex.gf.This was a nasty shock for me.I kept this from my ex.bf who was my first everything because my son was made while he had another gf.He is currently going to marry this gf in 3 days.Should i speak up now?or afterward?
2007-03-13 08:16:34 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I came clean with my hubby about this private info because he new something was wrong already.He is extremley angry and wont talk to me moved out of the hotel room?I am afraid he will say something if i dont?
2007-03-13 08:21:29 · update #1
See you have already made alot of mistakes earlier:
1) Getting pregnant,not taking proper precaution, that too when your bf was with other gf.
2)Not telling your bf about your pregnancy
3) Now by telling everything to your husband.
Now just ask a question to yourself:
What if your ex bf refuses to own the responsibility of your son, you did not tell any one about it for so long. He might know it, but might just deny to save his marriage,
You have almost lost half the battle. The only hope you have is from your husband. If he is willing to accept you in this condition, which seems difficult now, then only you have the hope to stay in family.
Where is your son? with whom is he staying ? Who else knew about it and did not inform your husband? All these questions will affect the decision of your husband.
You have to realise, that this battle is to be fought by you alone. Dont expect any help from your ex bf. Your bringing the things out in open willput undue presuure on your hubby also. Discuss everything with hubby and do what both of you decide together.
2007-03-13 08:36:54 · answer #1 · answered by cooler_leo 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tough call for either one.
He'll have to know eventually. He'll probably demand a DNA test, too.
I would have told him back when you were pregnant, even if he had another girlfriend at the time. His irresponsibility made you pregnant.
Does your husband know? I'd be sure to TELL YOUR HUSBAND. I would not tell your ex-boyfriend until well after the wedding. News like this could destroy the wedding, and any happiness this couple could have. In addition, be sure to approach from the angle that you just want him to know, and do not mention anything financial.
2007-03-13 08:22:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow! Why come clean right before this guys wedding? Are you doing this because you want this man to have a role in your childs life? I think that if he is the father, and you would like this man in your childs life - then you should tell him because his future wife has a right to know. Your motives will be under scrutiny. I would suggest pulling this guy aside and explaining it to him first and let him break the news if that is what he chooses. The timing sucks.
2007-03-13 08:26:47 · answer #3 · answered by Terrie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why come clean at all? You want to cause waves for him and his new wife to be? You have kept your mouth shut this long, there is really no reason to say a word. That would be selfish, esp if you are doing it just to lets say break off his pending wedding or going to hit him up for child support. Just lay low and raise your son, dont use him as a pawn in a game
2007-03-13 08:21:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Did your husband think your son was his??? If not, I don't understand why he is angry.
This is a very touch situation. Do you really think it will benefit anyone to know the truth? If your husband comes around and wants to continue to father your son, I would not tell anyone else the truth except maybe your son when he is older.
2007-03-13 08:39:05 · answer #5 · answered by Nunya 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your allegiance is only to your son. Do you feel it's important for HIM?..........at some point down the road. It certainly wouldnt be of interest to him at this time. So then, why do you feel the necessity to speak up? Just my opinion......
2007-03-13 08:24:27 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell the world girl . Why are you ashamed of your kid .Why is your husband mad ?This happened before him . Come out of the dark ages your kids going to wont to know when he grows up anyway .
2007-03-13 08:29:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is better to speak the truth than to hide information.
2007-03-13 08:24:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him hes the father. He needs to know and maybe he can help you financially.
2007-03-13 08:29:48 · answer #9 · answered by Got Curves? 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Now...Let him know you have his child...its the honest thing to do.
2007-03-13 08:21:03 · answer #10 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋