Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

Question

I want to know why, typically, women that have been in a bad relationship always seem to go back to the one who has abused them.

My current gf, and future wife, went back to the same guy for almost 10 years and she has a son by him. Her only answer was that she loved him and wanted things to work out.

Answer 1

Abusive men control, intimidate, and lower the self- esteem, self respect, and dignity of the woman they are abusing. the woman goes back because she loves him and feels that he may have changed, because all abusive men claim to have changed to get them back home. Also they have beaten down the woman's resolve so much that they sometimes feel as though they can't do better or they had it coming. It's a sad scenario, but true. Good luck to you and your bride to be. And if the ex tries to continue any of his abusive behavior, (for example mind control or any typ of mental abuse towards her or her son) let's go kick his teeth down his throat.

Answer 2

I have been in an abusive relationship with a guy. We have a daughter together. I love her so much. But he hit me when I was pregnant, and I never stopped dating him, never left him, I thought I loved him. I didn't think it was abuse, even all the names he called me, all the pushing, shoving and throwing things. He told me it was my fault he did it. It was my fault he got mad at me.

Well I left him. I live states away and my daughter doesn't know who her dad is (she's only a month old though) and I don't want to go back to him. He could ask me and I would never go to him. He's not worth my time. I can find someone better.

Women ususally do feel this way because the abuser usually makes them feel like they are unwanted by others, and that they are the only ones that truly are there for them. Women in this kind of situation are treated so badly and pounded on in a sense to where they believe everything is their fault and it is okay to be in this relationship.

Tell your soon to be wife that it's great she left him, because if she would of stayed you never know what could of happened to her son. Some men will begin to hit their children because of their abusive nature, not all but some.

Congradulations on your future wife and you getting married.
I am glad she got away from him. =) I hope you two live a happy and long, and safe life.

Answer 3

You woldn't believe what an abusive relationship does to a person's metal health. Be it physical, mental, or emotional, the abuser makes the abused believe they can do nothing without them. They are made to feel small and unwanted. It is very hard to break out of that cycle and if you are being told they are the only ones that will ever love them, why not keep going back? Yes, I've been there, done that.

Answer 4

I went straight from an abusive father to an abusive husband. The transition was so easy. Even though it was abusive, it was still my "comfort zone". I had no self esteem, no self worth and didn't think I deserved anything better. After 10 years of marriage and 2 years of counseling (twice a week) I have a better perspective on relationships. I still struggle, however, with my self esteem and insecurities and it will probably be a lifelong battle for me

Answer 5

Usualy the abusive person has control emotionally.
For instance - I will never forget the abusive man I was with once told me one thing that lingered in my subconscious for 10 yrs.... always wounding me - but this is how he made my self-esteem non-existant.

I was with you because I didn't think I could do any better.
That's the sentence.

My husband today could never say something like that to me - it was cruel and manipulative and that is why plp get hooked, trying to prove your self-worth, prove the world wrong, u can't see straight and they make u feel that he is all you've got.
They are usualy also very emotional, they cry to the woman and act like a helpless child she has to save, she can't abandon.

Answer 6

I had an abusive relationship and I divorced him. Never went back with him and never even had the desire to go back.
Everyone is different. Maybe she was raised in an abusive environment and thinks that is a normal way to be.
Letting someone abuse you is not love...it is insanity.
The child could play a part in this, but it seems to me if she loved the child she would want them to grow up in a loving environment, not an abusive one.
I am just one person...everyone has their own reasons for doing the things they do. I am sorry that she is addicted to the abuse and I hope she wakes up one day...if not for her, for her child's sake.
Also, if she has gone back to him for 10 years...it would seem to me you would really think about that before counting on her to be your future wife...sorry.

be cool...

Answer 7

It not that easy. I have been through it and it really does lower your self esteem and make you think that you are not worthy of meeting someone great. So in the back of your mind you think well he says he didn't mean it, and that he loves me and it will never happen again. So your brain is on auto program when the abuse starts these words play in your mind. Till finally you say enough is enough and meet the man of your dreams. Good Luck to you.

Answer 8

Yes, and a woman is stupid that dosn't get out early in the relationship. I know because she would regret it on down the line if she stays she will never be happy. That's a path to self destruction for the female even if it does work out. Trust me.

Answer 9

They take over your mind...make you feel like no one else would ever want them....My husband was very much like that..But he changed for our marriage... But they can hold you in a spot that you can't get out of until a prince charming comes to rescue...We could leave when we got the balls up, but the minute they call you you are back in the brain washing.

Answer 10

I have not REALLY been in an abusive relationship like that but sort of and the bad thing about it is im only 16 yr old.This boy i used to talk to used to push me in class and gab on me really hard, it wasnt even funny(I was only 15 @the time). But now he goes with one of my closeset friends.