We have been chatting on line for months now, and I get so turned on when ever we chat, but it's never sexual, just his presence does it to me. Can I be in my committed relationship and have this other man? I crave him, I want to meet him so badly, drives me crazy.
2007-03-13 08:00:50 · 21 answers · asked by emerald_eyes_ofpassion 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you have fallen in love with a idea of who this man is and its so easy to do that when we don't have to deal with the reality of the person on line they can be perfect in every way say all the right things and make you feel so good about who you are but the truth is your in a committed relationship with a real person that has to be real 24 7 doesn't have the opportunity to be the fantasy you have made the on line person out to be.i understand that it is a great feeling to know that someone else besides your relationship partner finds you interesting but do yourself a huge favor shut off the computer and put that on-line chat time into finding out new things about your partner or just spending time together that's real and i would take real over fantasy any day.
2007-03-13 08:13:18 · answer #1 · answered by patbgone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful, any man ban be exactly what a woman wants on-line, but be the exact opposite in person, if you are TRULY committed to your relationship, leave this on-line guy alone. There's no harm in chatting, but learn to leave it on the computer. I say this from experience. Don't learn the hard way. But then again, I met my wife on-line, and she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. It can go either way, whatever you do, proceed with caution. Good luck
2007-03-13 08:09:03 · answer #2 · answered by Steel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a fantasy world my dear and understand that because you are dealing with someone online it has some mysterious excitement, but it is an infatuation not love and what I would do is stop this communication immediately. It is very wrong of you to do this. For you to be so enthralled with this guy, you must have problems in your committed relationship and that is what you must take care of. See what is wrong with your relationship and try to work it out. Another thing, how do you really know who you are talking to? Also, I would not meet this man in person. It is very dangerous. You do not know who you are talking to when you talk on line. I would definitely stop this on line friendship immediately. By the way you sound like a very immature person.
2007-03-13 15:57:19 · answer #3 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Very typical to feel this way for something you have created in your mind. He is what you want him to be, shaded with traits of his personality you have gotten a glimpse of during conversations and chats and so forth.
They rarely work and you amy be quite surprised of the truth you find that really dissapoints you when you meet him or if you have.... I am not saying he's not real or maybe a good guy but the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
2007-03-13 08:12:48 · answer #4 · answered by Amy B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you really in a relationship and in love with this person or are you in love with your fantasy about him? Have you invented this relationship to escape something? Are there other problems in your committed relationship that you are escaping from?
My guess would be that your cyber relationship is not what you imagine it to be and you are escaping other problems. Solve these problems first, if they lead to a breakup, then you are free to explore other relationships.
It may be just me, but purely cyber relationships do not look real to me. If you have not experienced the other person in real world you have not "seen" the person, you know only what they intellectually want you to see. I doubt that you can really love someone only through a cyber relationship. You may find a connection, but you need to experience the person to love them.
2007-03-13 08:12:36 · answer #5 · answered by adar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you say you are in a committed relationship, then how can you think and feel like that??? So there is problem somewhere.
You can't be on love with two, there has to be something else for one. FInd who is that, and then let it go, ane be committed to one which you really love. Don't fool yourslef and the other two
2007-03-13 08:11:47 · answer #6 · answered by salcsan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello The first thing you should Is ask your self is what it is that has driven you to this atraction what has been the base reasons often these are hard to admit to yourself you began this ?? with the statement "I am in a comitted relationship" so one of the things you should is have been together long enough to feel bourd and just down rite dull.the answeres to these ?? are often hard to answere honestly yes to yourself you lie every one does exspacialy when the truth leads to admitting that your actions are selfish or other some othe thing that most people dont want to say about there self just remember that you are the only one who has to know about it and that honesty will lead to the rite dicesion and thats what matters most.the next thung is very simple but often is hardest LOVE is so hard to actualy define mainly cause it is the most complex and intense emotion to deal with thats why people say the ever popular "yes I love you but Im not in love with you" this beleave it or not is the best we have come up with to try and understand it to be honest it dosent cut it I have been "IN love maybe a totale of 7 times in my life and I love just about every body I have come to know as friends or family men and women alike my son is 1 of 5 people in my life that are in a whole difrent class opf love any way here again the answere to this ?? honestly will lead to making the rite decision The finale thing is this I am now in the fourth year of my relationship with a girl that is for lack of a true definition my soul mate she is the only girl I have ever been with that is in the 5 class with my son I offer you this its obvius that you are stimulated by the level of intalect that is your chat sessions with this other guy and this is a very powerfull feeling cause of lack of sexual dialog if you have the abilaty to atempt to ingage in the same type of conversations with your man like maybe instant msmge or chats using comps or cell phone any thing just make sure that you are not in the same room and also keep it strictly texting dont talkj on the phone if I am rite then he is not a stupid man and he is probubly -going to be just as stimulating if not more so then your chat budy on line think this thruogh and make sujre that your honest cause the number one couse of broken hearts is that we lie to our self first and four most we lie to our self and that means sooner or later you s6trt lieing to your partner. making the rite decision somtimes means that some one gets hurt BUt that will only a short time it is the times when honesty did get aplied I mean REALLY aplied that hearts get broken and the hurt lastforever.
2007-03-13 08:38:26 · answer #7 · answered by JOSH S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wouldn't it stink if your cyber man is a 50 year old lesbian? Shut off the computer and work on your real relationship.
Seek counseling.
Good luck.
2007-03-13 08:08:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you meet him, it's no longer a "cyber" relationship, is it? If you keep it on the monitor, then it's ok, but once it crosses over to other things, like the phone or in person, then you're in trouble.
2007-03-13 08:06:32 · answer #9 · answered by zelgadiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Snap out of it. You have not even met the guy yet. You really do not know him yet. Don't fall in head first like you are doing.
I am not telling you not to pursue this guy. All I am telling you is be careful and keep your eyes wide open. You do not know if he really is THE ONE. Have you checked his credit? Have you checked his back ground? Have you checked his package...LOL (just kidding).
My point is do not mess up your marriage over somebody who you do not really know. Don't get caught up in the internet fantasyland.
Obviously your marriage is lacking at home or else you would not be seeking men on the internet. I am not saying don't do it, just saying be careful.
Your friend,
Momma K
2007-03-13 08:07:04 · answer #10 · answered by Momma K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋