I have had a female friend for some 20 years.
How do I tell her(I will be calling her voicemail tonight to wish her happy birthday) that I will not be contacting her anymore?
I am tired of always taking the initiative to call or visit, etc, and just do not wish to invest anymore effort or time in a 1-way street(yet I know she'll be disappointed! How paradoxical!)
Any idea's? Thanks...
2007-03-13 07:55:33 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Keeping her as a Friend for 20 years that must mean she is special. And maybe she got used to the fact that you are always asking and visiting. Be honest and open and if she cares enough she will put effort into this friendship.
2007-03-13 08:00:07 · answer #1 · answered by momof3_angles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Instead of making a big deal of it, just don't call anymore. After a few weeks, or maybe, months go by if she is any kind of friend she will call you to find out what's up. At that time you can tell her that you had decided that you were the one putting forth all the effort and receiving none from her. She will probably be more receptive to deciding if the friendship is worth working on when she realizes what you are saying is true. Good luck and God Bless your new friendships and old!
2007-03-13 08:17:54 · answer #2 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's tough. I have a friend just like that. We've been friends since 1st grade. When he husband was off to war I called her all the time to check on her. When my fiance was off to war she didn't call once. When she was pregnant I called all the time to check on her. Sent gifts and never got calls saying she received them. Now I am pregnant and never hear from her. I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I can't say goodbye. I have just quit calling, well calling as much I finally gave in and called to let her know we are having a boy. I asked why I haven't heard from her and she says she is busy.... aren't we all? I send emails with updated pictures. Does it take that long to give a quick response?
I guess I would just pose questions to her that makes her think about your relationship and the roll she plays in it. I don't think I would leave it on her voice mail. Do you need to say good bye to her? Or can you just let it go? What would you get out of telling her good bye? If she were to need you in the furture for whatever reason would you want to know about it? Would you want her to call you? If so I would not tell her goodbye. I would just not put a lot of effort into the relationship at this point.
Good luck!
2007-03-13 08:02:03 · answer #3 · answered by Ambre B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell her in the manner of the words you used to write the question because that is basically what you should say. Speak exactly how you feel. You know she will be mad and all but it seems that you have already prepared for that and you know what will happen. If you feel there is no other way to solve this and you have completely made up your mind on this, then tell her exactly how you feel. Good Luck!
2007-03-13 08:06:07 · answer #4 · answered by mamashortydoowop 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why say anything? Just quit contacting her. If she wants the friendship to continue she'll initialize contact. After a few months of silence she'll get the hint.
2007-03-13 07:59:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you dont even need to say anything about it if you dont want to. just say happy birthday, and leave it at that. Then, dont make any more efforts toward contacting her. If she wants to hear from you, she'll make the call.
2007-03-13 07:59:20 · answer #6 · answered by aaron 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
May be she feels the same way. After 20 years you have moved beyond friends.
2007-03-13 07:59:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just let her know flat out. it is usually best that way. and if you want to you can tell her the actual reasons for it but if you don't want to then you can make something else up in its place.
2007-03-13 07:59:56 · answer #8 · answered by fuderpod 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt make it good except I certainly had to to. i might merely enable us to evidently strengthen aside. i might quit inviting them over and quit calling them, I wouldnt be rude to them or "injury up" the friendship with them. i might merely attempt to gracefully fade away. in the event that they stored insisting on being close and wouldnt leave me on my own, i might could desire to assert some thing like "i think of we've grown aside, and dont experience like we've compatibility anymore."
2016-10-02 01:36:34 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why pursue one way relationship? Just quit calling ...
2007-03-13 07:59:23 · answer #10 · answered by Vesna G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋