I'm 25, soon to be 26 and do not want children. My partner, who just turned 30, and future husband have both talked about this issue and we neither one of us want children. I'm wondering why it is that most people keep telling us we will change our minds? Or my favorite one "the marriage will fail without them, cuz you will be facing only eachother day after day"....So give me your opinions.....why is it so unheard of to not want children? And please give me a better reason than the age issue that one is getting quite tedious I could understand if I were 20, and though I'm not THAT old I certainly know at this time in my life more of what I want and what I DON'T want....thanks for taking the time to answer
2007-03-13 07:43:36 · 41 answers · asked by cal_gal_81 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Honestly I admire for your fortitude in knowing exactly what you want. Not everyone is cut out to be parents. I am not saying that you arent but at least you know that you do not want any and that is OK. With the way this sorry world is getting I dont blame you!!!!!! Be happy in your marriage there are other things to be happy about.
2007-03-13 07:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by shirley e 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some people don't understand. I personally have a child, and her father and I didn't last. I don't see why people would tell you if you don't have children your relationship won't last, that's not true, that may bring you two closer.
People that have children are said that usually the other partner gets more jealous when they are not paid attention to, sort of like a child would act out of jealousy.
Don't listen to them. This is your life choice, some people do not want children, and that's good that both of you do not want children, it may hurt the relationship if ONE of you wanted the child and the other didn't.
As long as it stays that you both don't want any children, and you are happy, and in love and have trust, then there is NOTHING wrong with your decisions.
2007-03-13 07:50:19 · answer #2 · answered by Danielle<3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you do not want children because you want to be free and in control. That is not a bad thing. By in control I mean do what you want travel, stay up late. A lot of people do have marital problems and are able to work them out because they have children. That is by no means a reason to have kids and you should remind those well meaner of that. You may feel a change of heart one day but until then or even if you do not, as long as you and your husband are on the same page, do not worry about what other people say.
2007-03-13 07:51:51 · answer #3 · answered by love me despite it all 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's really not all that unusual these days for couples not to want children. I don't understand what the fuss is either. Not everyone wants to have children. The fact that you and your future husband are on the same page with this subject "children" is actually a plus for your marriage. Don't trip what other people think. They are trying to impose their thoughts and life plans on you. There is still a possibility you might change your mind if the switch flips on you. Sometimes the switch just doesn't flip. One of my sisters and her husband didn't want children and they still don't have any after over 10 years and there is still no plan to have any. They like being Auntie and Uncle to my two and our brother's one.
2007-03-13 07:54:33 · answer #4 · answered by eehco 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You definitely shouldn't have kids unless you really want them very much. Most people feel that way and can't understand why you don't but stick to your guns. I have two sisters and an aunt who couldn't have kids and a couple of friends who chose not to and they are pretty lonely now that they are getting older. My kids and grands just mean so much to me as I am getting where I need some help with life. I don't know what I'd do without them. You can get your family and friends off your case if you tell them you are just waiting to see if you do want them when you are married and settled down. Not much they can argue about there. Good Luck and God Bless
2007-03-13 07:53:39 · answer #5 · answered by moonrose777 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would think that having children would be more of a reason that a marriage falls apart then not having them. Some people don't understand, since basically we were put on earth to reproduce and unless you physically can't, it is unheard of for a woman to make the choice not to have children. I give my best to the both of you and hope that even though you won't have your own children, that you are blessed by their presence. They are so much more enjoyable to be around knowing you can give them back to their parents and any time.
2007-03-13 07:49:27 · answer #6 · answered by What Do I Know? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am 28 and don't want children. I always thought I wanted 1 or none. But right now I'm at the wanting none. My b/f always wanted 2, but I think I got him down to 1. His mom would love grandchildren. My mother would like 1 and my dad doesn't care if he has any grandchildren. I actually don't want to get married either. Been together almost 5 years, living together almost 2 yrs. I did enough babysitting growing up to know how much of a handful kids are.
Well at least we aren't like 13 yrs old on Maury Povich show wanting to get pregnant.
2007-03-13 07:57:21 · answer #7 · answered by hello 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just so miserable in their lives with children that they want others to suffer just like they do (yes it is ONLY a joke). There is nothing wrong with not wanting children. I know more than one couple who are married and child free and have been for 20+years. It's not that they are selfish...frankly I believe they are less selfish than those who have children just to have them. They are aware that they do not want to spend time raising children...however all of the couples I know spend time with nieces/nephews and the children of close friends. One particular couple has a large home in Lake Tahoe and each winter as a Christmas "gift" to their parent friends as well as the kids they take ALL of the kids for a week, they have land on which the kids ski, snowboard, there is a pond where they ice skate, they have horses that the kids ride (and take care of). Their house has a "screening" room where there is a huge t.v. screen and every game system hooked up to it known to mankind, they have computers, books, board games and they take the kids for a "night out on the town" one night during their stay. For their nieces highschool graduation last June they took her on a cruise to the Bahamas. They have plans to take my daughter to France when she graduates college this June. They also give to charitable organizations that involve children, children's homes and they donate vehicles and boats for such causes as well. If they had children of their own they couldn't do what they do, they are good, kind, loving people who have simply chosen not to procreate.
If you feel you don't want children, please don't have them. Don't let other's talk you into something you have no desire to do because you won't give the best that you have. There is nothing wrong with your choice don't let anyone tell yuo that there is.
2007-03-13 07:55:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's perfectly OK to NOT want children. Seek out books and websites on the topic to get more info. Arm yourself with knowledge to answer people who just don't understand.
BTW, I am desperate for a child, but people have to realize that people must be allowed to make their own choices about their lives. NOT having children is a totally legitimate choice and should mot be looked down upon. Congrats on finding a partner who feels the same way you do. :) Think of all the disposable income you'll have! :)
2007-03-13 07:49:59 · answer #9 · answered by searching_please 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey, if you don't want children that's your business. For every person that doesn't understand there are probably 2 out there that have no problem with it. My problem is the opposite. Why do we have people screaming at us if we want more kids? We have 3 kids and my wife wants one more, and people scream at us to stop having kids like it's any of their business. I happen to believe that world overpopulation is a bunch of BS, so I say it would be fair if people just left us alone and stopped trying to tell us how to live our lives. Next time someone harasses me about having too many kids, I'll return the harrassement by reminding them that they should have kids.
2007-03-13 07:51:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
People make the assumption that everyone thinks alike. It is a "natural course" that people who get married will later have children. Unfortunately, this is why many people do not give the issue the consideration it deserves. Children are not necessary for a complete life. Press on with making your own decisions and do not worry about what other people think you should make of your OWN life.
2007-03-13 07:48:36 · answer #11 · answered by Terrie 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋