Can I say this to someone with cancer?

Question

My professor has cancer and we're like friends almost ( but with lots of respect ) and he's been telling me about his treatments and I really wanna say something sweet but sincere. Even tough he's in an advanced state of cancer he looks very healthy and lives his life to the fullest. Can I tell him that he's in great state and that he looks healthier than me (I'm like 20 years younger than him) Or can I tell him that he's more enrgetic than me? he just sent me a letter telling me that he'll receive his scanner results tomowrrow

Answer 1

One of the curious things about cancer patients is that for those who have accepted the disease as just a part of life, they end up having a great perspective on life.

There are only a few types of cancer where treatment will result in what most of us consider long-term survival. So, for most cancer patients, odds are, they won't be around in 5 years. For those who have dealt with their own mortality, they end up being empowered knowing that they have sigificantly less time to do the things they've always wanted to do.

What does this mean for you and your professor? Chance are, you can talk to him about anything. You shouldn't treat him any differently than you would anyone else. If you want to comment on his healthy apperance despite his treatments, that's perfectly ok.

Answer 2

I think that would be fine. You can say...
Man, if I didn't know I would have never guessed you had cancer, your in better health than I am.

There's really not that much you can say, being there for him is the best way to show your support and that you care. I personally would not take offense if someone told me that. You should invite him to go places like the movies or something that would make him feel more manly, or strong.

Answer 3

Sounds like you guys are good enough pals to respect each other. I wouldn't try to flater him by saying he looks healthier than you. It sounds nice but over encouragement seems to come across as negative. (Example litlle kids dieing you say he looks healthy as ever he knows your lying so he gives up.) Just give him a good word saying he will be well soon and he is looking very good and i know your going to pass. that sort of thing. Hope hes okay. And good luck

Answer 4

Tell him that you respect his strength with everything he is going through. I personally can't imagine going through cancer treatments. Tell him that you are inspired by the way he lives his life to the fullest. It makes you wonder why we waste time, when we have so much of it, most of us don't have major problems or health issues that could limit us or our time.

Answer 5

no don't tell him that tell him that he looks great cause he has a great look at life at that thinking positive will make you feel great and gives you hope. and if ever needs just someone to listen and not talk you will be there for him.

Answer 6

Tell him how well he does look & mention you wish you felt as good as he acts or looks. Positive encouragement is always helpful in any kind of recovery.

Answer 7

Just tell him one day while you two are talking that you think he is looking fantastic and that you appreciate his courage and energy and if there is anything you can do for him, to let you know...

Answer 8

You know him better than any of us. It sounds fine to me. You should make sure you tell him that you'll be there if he needs you.

Answer 9

The first one but neither of them will be offencive at all.

Answer 10

just be a friend. sounds like you already are. just listen & be there, you don't have to come up with a clever line. don't feed him a line, just be yourself.