How do you tell your boyfriend its none of his and his adult kids and ex wifes business.?

Question

I have to go to the doctor for a pregnancy test in a week which I know is positive. I have been put thru pure hell by these adult kids of my boyfriend. He was married after their mother and he divorced and they are always inviting their step mother over and asking her to come to family gatherings etc... She does his taxes still and is in all of his business. Its disqusting.
I do not consider this her business, so I have chosen not to tell him or his kids about this pregnancy, when I am due ( I am not sure yet) or anything about it. I am fed up with him and their back stabbing. They cannot do anything about this because I am the pregnant one, not them. I am sick of them. I am financially able to pay for this child and do not need any help from him. He has treated me like crap. How would you handle it?

I am a professional and work in the same position for 12 yrs and make $100, 000 a year. I do not live in a trailer park and never will. My home is paid for and I have 2 adult children.

Answer 1

I wouldn't tell him I was pregnant by him. Then after my baby was born, he would be getting a letter from my attorney hitting him up for child support. Then he will know and he can tell whoever he wants.

Answer 2

My first question is why did you get pregnant is such an awful situation????? BC pills are easy and effective.....Surely you have know about his family situation for some time..... hopefully long before you got pg. And further, if the pregnancy were still first trimester, I'd end it..... If you are fed up with him and them why are you bringing another person (a child) into this f(l)ucking mess????

How would I handle this? I'd leave. Life is toooo goddamn short to put up with negativity, stupid people, vicious situations, and a prospective family that doesn't care one white rat's whisker for you...etc. If what you said here is even a shred of truth, I'd accept the fact that I made one, no two huge mistakes and prolong it no further. Ending a pregnancy is not the greatest of choices, but every child deserves to be planned and have loving parents. At this point, you can't offer that. And your pain of a short while is far better than a 20 year resentment and the waste of your youth and tying yourself into this family for the rest of your life.

Good luck, hon.....

Answer 3

You are in a difficult situation and you need to get out of it. If you are able to stand on your own feet, you would be wise to get out of this relationship. I can feel your frustration and I agree with you 100%. This ex-wife should not be involved in your boyfriend's life, and she certainly shouldn't be doing his taxes.

It appears that the adult children are encouraging this behavior, which your boyfriend should immediately stop. Apparently, he's too blind to see what's going on, or what it's doing to you. Your relationship can only get worse when you announce the pregnancy, because the adult children (and the ex who is trying to get back into the mix) are going to resent this child. Unless your boyfriend wakes up real soon, you have no choice except to leave. You can't fight the man's children and his ex-wife alone. If he won't stand up for you, there's no reason to stay.
I wish you all the best.

Answer 4

I wouldn't be with a man who had disrespectful children like that. Now that you are, you need to decide if you love this man or not. Sounds like you are more frustrated about this whole mess than anything. If you are pregnant, you know your hormones are out of whack right now. You should really think about the choice you are making. If you don't want these headaches to continue, either dump the boyfriend, or set some rules with the adult children. Thank you and good luck.

Answer 5

I think you did a fine job right here. You go girl...your pregnancy is not your boyfriends adult childrens business. Who cares what they think. As for them always inviting the step mother over for family gatherings I would say that is their perogative (providing the gathering is not at your house), however, it is your choice to also attend the function and if you don't feel like it then don't go. You say your boyfriend has treated you like crap, why are you putting yourself through that. Don't take that from him. The kids being back stabbers......tell them you are done. If your boyfriend is the father of the baby, it is his business and he has a right to know but don't continue to take his crap. Your pregnant, you need to get rid of all that stresses you! Good luck!

Answer 6

I think its sad that you got pregnant by someone whom you hate....thinking about a condom or birth control is obviously to late!

You need to move on, no on should have that many "other" people involved in there personal business. You say you can afford to raise the child alone, that's great but make sure he pays for support and make sure the child knows his/her daddy...

Answer 7

If you can support yourself and your future off-
spring then put a period behind this relationship and move on with your life. If he is the father of
your baby he does have rights. I would not stay in
that relationship any longer. It doesn't sound
that healthy to me. Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 8

I believe in abortion, so that in addition to walking away from this distasteful situation would be one of my personal options.

If this is not an option for you, you have to look at the situation with different eyes. If you keep this child, this man is the father of your soon to be born child and has rights and responsibilities. You are going to have to have a connection with him in order to raise this baby to adulthood. That means finding a way to get along not only with his adult children who will be your child's siblings, but also with his ex-wife who will probably continue to be a mainstay in your child's siblings' lives.

If you cannot find a warm peaceful place to raise the child together with your bf, I recommend seeking counselling to do so as separate. It will be in the best interest of your unborn child.

Good luck to you.

Answer 9

Well if you have the money then leave him sounds like a jerk also if you want privacy try moving out of the trailer park.

Answer 10

Leave. If you are that unhappy now, it will only get worse later. His kids will not go away and from the sounds of it, neither will the Ex. Check out now while it is easy.