I am 22 yrs old i just graduated from college and have been married for only 4 months.I have a son who is four years old from a prior relationship this was never really an issue till recent events.My husband and i met while away at college orginally i did not tell him i had a child because i felt uncomfortable with how he might react at the time but after 6 months of dating i did tell him.We took a break after that for 3-4 months but ultimatley he decided to overlook this fact because at the time my parents were raising my son.Our realationship continued strong and good from then on no questions about prior relationships asked.I have never told anyone who my sons biological father is and never thought it would come up.Unfortunatley it did come up last week while at a wedding run-through for one of my hubbys old friends from high school.The friend in question turned out to be my sons biological father even though he has no idea he only remebers me as an ex.gf?
2007-03-13
07:39:07
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26 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
I had no idea they even new each other only that my hubby was orginally for the same area as he was.I came clean with my hubby about this private info because he new spomething was wrong already.He is extremley angry and wont talk to me?
2007-03-13
07:43:56 ·
update #1
My hubby actually is no longer even staying in the same hotel as us!
2007-03-13
07:46:09 ·
update #2
I kept it a secret from my ex. because he had a gf at the time and he is currently about to marry her!
2007-03-13
07:52:37 ·
update #3
I am not sure what your question is but I do have an observation. You not only didnt tell him you had a child when you started dating but you didnt tell him that the Father of this child was your husbands friend??? I see a pattern of deceit here that your husband should be suspicious of. I would be rather upset it this chain of events rained down on me as well. Relationships are hard enough without this kind of complication. I mean no disrespect - honestly. I think you could have handled all this much better.
2007-03-13 07:47:44
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answer #1
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answered by Devdude 5
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Why is your husband so angry? It is the past and he needs to move on from that. Maybe he just has problems with you having a kid and doesn't want to say so. It seemed like that was the case at one point in your relationship. But what a coincidence! Also, your child has a right to know who its real father is and even your ex has a right to know that he has a kid out there- even though he may not care or want to know. But that should've been done long ago.
2007-03-13 08:54:26
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answer #2
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answered by NLH823 3
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Well, I would not talk to you either, in fact I would tell you to hit the bricks. You have twice now, withheld information from him that an honest and open relationship would have given up at the beginning. As you can well see, pretending the past did not happen does not make it go away. You need to sit down with him and cover all the past and then decide together if the two of your are willing to go forward. He no doubt is wondering where the next bomb is going to come from that you have not told him about. I know I would...
2007-03-13 07:49:34
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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Well, I'd be less worried about your husband and more worried about your ex. I doubt your husband cares about a relationship that ended 4+ years ago, but why did you keep the pregnancy a secret from your ex? You may have to discuss the possibility of telling your ex about his son as you will likely see him again. Unless he did something horrible, then he has a right to know. So does your son. I would speak to a lawyer as soon as possible about how to proceed because he could very well sue you for custody. He will probably find out on his own if you don't tell him so don't delay this. Good luck.
2007-03-13 07:45:46
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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"O, what a tangled web we weave when alas we plot to deceive." I'm sorry about your dilemma but you have not been completely honest with your child's father or your husband. You must sit down and talk to the birth father and you must let that child know the truth. You will also have to find a way to regain you husbands trust, because you have played with him and that's not fair. Grow up. You made mistakes when you were young and that's understandable, but you cannot carry on with this deceptive attitude. Promise yourself that from now on you are going to be truthful even if it hurts. It's a part of being an adult. The truth shall set you free!!
2007-03-13 07:49:03
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answer #5
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answered by bombastic 6
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Wow, talk about being too close for comfort. Did you have any idea that they might know eachother? How come the bio father doesn't know you had his child? Did you not feel the need to tell him about this minor detail? Well, I think your husband should accept you for who you are and everything about you. You should have told him you had a son from the beginning, it's nothing to be ashamed of. But anyway, past is past, if he can't accept it then maybe you should've gotten to know eachother way better before getting married!
2007-03-13 07:45:29
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answer #6
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answered by lovin' life... 4
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You should have been honest with everyone including yourself from the start. You hid your child for 6 months like you were a shamed of the child. You kept the child from his biological father so he would never have a chance to know his dad. Then you kept on lying and decieving you claim you love your husband but you are nothing more than a self centered a little girl who need to learn how to tell the truth and grow the hell up!
2007-03-13 07:44:10
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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Always tell the TRUTH!!! I would put all the cards on the table, and prepare to hear your hubby screaming & yelling @ you!!! (you let him do it, and don't answer him back) Then you have to tell your ex that he is the father of your child. This is a serious matter, and should be solved now, before it hurts more people, including your own son.
Good Luck & Blessings
2007-03-13 07:48:51
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answer #8
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answered by PRLadyDama 5
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OOOhhhh not good.First off your child should have been first. If your husband could not except you with bagage then you should not have gone father with your realationship.Why did he never ask who the father was I dont know but I would divorce you for not telling me but thats me. If he loves ya you both will make it through this.Its not going to be easy on you,but you've kept it in to long.So your the one thats going to hurt.His friend also needs to know after your husband does(i think) See what your husband says about telling him after you tell him. Good luck dear you have a big mess on your hands.
2007-03-13 07:48:25
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answer #9
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answered by bluemoon 2
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Cheney WHAT?!?!? regardless of his daughter being a lesbian, he's often slithered around on the different edge of the fence. Wow, if he's coming around to the assumption of comparable-intercourse marriage then possibly there is wish for humanity yet.
2016-11-25 00:50:10
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answer #10
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answered by ? 4
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