Care worker (employed full time) with sensitive question?

Question

I am a support worker, caring for elderly people with Alzheimers. Today, a male resident asked me (in a very roundabout way, I think) if I could procure the services of a prostitute for him for 2 hours. I think he has the right to such a thing, but what would YOU say? I haven't asked the home manager yet what to do. Is there a legal line drawn on what residents with EMI can ask for? If it cannot be done, what should I do? Take him to a place where he can get whatever he wants? This IS a sensitive, genuine question, so please no facetious stupid answers. (PS: The resident is a widower in his early 80s).

Answer 1

Wow, what a sensitive question! I too have worked with EMI 'service users' (I think is the correct 'term' these days) and not come across this one, however I also worked with learning dis' and this question did arise on a number of occasions, on these occasions the advice of social workers was sort and of course in this case the permission of their parents/guardians, an adult has the right to have relationships, no matter what, but you really need to discuss this with the homes manager and hopefully they are as understanding as you are, because if they are not, then things get really difficult.
I wish you lots of luck in whatever course of action you decide
to take.

Answer 2

Your position is to do what is ethically right for his treatment with the resources you have, knowing that some decisions will be made for him because he has impaired judgment. True, he can ask for whatever he wants, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you will deliver it. You wouldn't give him a choke hold if he asked for it, right?

It appears you are extremely uncomfortable with the situation and so you should let your supervisor know so that the liability and the responsibility is off of your shoulders. In response to how to answer this man, empathize with him when he focuses on his past life and what he was able to do, and redirect his focus on to the current day and what his focus is today, including the support he has to make it through today.

He doesn't need a solution to everything necessarily, but to know that people care for him.

Answer 3

unfortunately, this is one of those situations where it doesn't matter what you, i , or indeed your manager think.

prostitution is illegal. procuring someone for sex is illegal.

so if you did this for him, even with the best of intentions, you would be risking losing your job or gaining a criminal record.

speak to your manager about it anyway, at the earliest opportunity, just to make sure that you explain what has happened, especially if the request wasn't overt. they should support you if there is a problem in the situation. i'm not being funny, but if the gentleman has Altzheimers, then he may talk about it in a confused way which may make it look like the suggestion had come from you.

your first duty of care is to yourself, callous as that can seem at times.

i really sympathise, being in the position of looking after teenagers as part of my employment. it's really tough when *common sense* or your own judgement is at odds with *the rules* :(

Answer 4

if you are working in a care home looking after (EMI) Elderly Mentally Infirm residents you should know better than to ask a question like that. Talk to your Home manager and tell him/her what you thought the male resident asked you for. I think you will find you are over stepping your boundries..

Answer 5

I would stay clear of any such activity.

First off that is not your job and secondly that is called procurement. It is a moral as well as a legal offense.

You could very well be fired for it. And by all means do not bring this to the attention of the manager.

Stay clear....Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

I will be honest with you hear, they suffer from alzheimers which is a really horrible illness, as you will know as you work with it. My grandad has it and it is a difficult things to come to terms with and even harder to walk in a see him!he is 80.
As you say you think he asked you, your not sure which is a non starter in my head. Also alzheimers also comes with memory loss and they go bk to childhood or earlier days. My answer bascially is NO, you forget about this and dont act on it,no matter how or what you feel. I would however mention it to your manager as it is an issue. If it happens again keep mentioning to your manager ask them for support/advice etc...
You act on this how will his family react if they ever find out? consider this i would go mental if it was me, yes take them day trip but not to a prositiute. this is not your decision to make if anyones decision it is your manager who should talk to family about it, its their decision.
please read this and take on board what i have said.

Answer 7

I have been a care worker for a number of years now and i have my svq's etc,there was a programme on the telly about this few weeks ago,and the carer did find the guy,someone to do what he was after,if i was you i would pass this onto a team leader manager etc,if the resident/client asks you again tell him that you have passed it on to the higher team and they will speak to him about it,you would be in big trouble for arranging anything for him,hope this helps
chin up

Answer 8

There are many aspects to your point.
My answer would be that you will not procure the services for him directly but advise him that it can be sought and should be referred to your manager. You have a duty to the man but also you have a duty to your employer and you should leave this with the manager, after all this is why he gets paid far more than you .......

Good question!

Answer 9

my nan is in a home for people with alzheimers and i can understand the position you feel you are in.personally i would talk to the manager as this could also cost you your job should you go ahead and do something without the managers permission.

Answer 10

This is hard as hes old and widowed and has Alzheimers. I think you should talk with the manager if you are not sure. I would be stuck in this siutation like yourself