Why do you feel so confused after the first time you had sex?

Question

I don't know why. But I'm so confused. The world seems to go by in a blur. Please tell me why I feel this way.

I want to know why I did it with my boyfriend Michael. He asked me if I was ready I said yes. I want to know why I was ready for him and why I wasn't ready for my other (ex) boyfriend's. Does this make our relationship stronger? Why am I confused? I want to tell my stepmother but I don't want her to get upset with me or to look down on me.

It was the first time I've ever had sex.

I asked Michael about how he felt...after we did have sex and I asked him how he felt about me. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face then he smiled and kissed me and said 'I love you just as much as I loved you yesterday. Nothing has changed' I think I'm confused because he said that. He alway's has said (even when we first started going out) that I was the love of his life and he wasn't going to lose me. But why all of a sudden am i questioning our relationship?

I feel guilty? ...Maybe so.

We used protection. I wasn't on birth control...Oh god. I'm gonna cry. Brb

Answer 1

Please understand that when I answer this, I am not answering in a condemning manner, nor am I judging you. I simply want to help you find this answer.

The reason this is confusing for you is because God never intended for you to experience sex in this way. Sex in itself is not bad. After all, God created it. But outside of marriage, it can be destructive because it was only intended for a man and a woman within the bounds of marriage.

God created man with all of his aspects, the masculine and feminine. When God took the rib from Adam and created Eve, he took the feminine qualities from Adam and gave them to Eve. So now we have Man with one set of God's aspects, and woman with the complementing set of God's aspects. When a man and woman join in marraige, the bible refers to it as the joining together of flesh because that is when those qualities come back together. This may sound crazy, but a married man and woman are actually most like God during sex because these aspects are joining back together and they are able to create life. Both of them walk away from the experience with a stronger bond to each other.

You feel confused because what you experienced was a counterfeit for what God had in store for you in marriage. Sex within marraige is a God given gift that will leave you closer with your spouse, and right now you likely feel even more distant from the person you experienced it with because it was outside of God's parameter. If you continue to do it, that feeling WILL go away because you'll start to get numb to it... but I doubt that's what you want to do.

Instead, turn to Christ and allow him to restore your soul. I know this sounds incredibly cliche, but there ya go. If you need anything, please let me know and I'll help the best I can. I hope this helped.

Answer 2

Your world just changed. What once was is now not. You are in an adjustment period. It shouldn't last long.

Frankly, you said you were ready, but you probably weren't. If you need to talk to your step-mom do so. Yes, she will be disappointed. But I'd would think you would rather have that than continue on with the way you feel. You now need adult guidance because you were not ready for your adult act nor
it's consequences. Consequences can be physical and mental.

I hope you used protection. In today's day and age there is NO reason for an unplanned pregnancy. If you plan on continuing to have sex then get on hormonal BC.

Also, if you get painful and burning urination you probably have a UTI. Go to the store and buy cranberry juice and Uristat. Take the pills as directed, drink the juice (all of it) and drink a lot of water too.
Remember to pee right after sex, and to wipe front to back.

Answer 3

You are feeling very vulnerable since you had sex with no guarentees he will cherish what you gave him and stay with you. You are also disappointed because you got nothing from the episode. Sex is never good for a woman at first and then it only is if your partner has some knowlege about giving to you. I've talked to so many girls who feel just as you do but you can't change what has already happened. You really do need to trust your step-mother with this. She can help you get on birth control and that is a must since you have made the decision to be sexually active. Condoms are very poor protection from disease and almost none for pregnancy. As upset as you are about the sex, you know you are not ready for a baby. Your step-mother probably won't be surprised that this has happened although she may be a bit disappointed Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 4

You are confused because you were not ready to have sex. This is why kids should not be having sex. You thought you were ready but not in the end look how it turned out. Oh yeah you also need to remember that a guy and a girl are going to feel differently about sex. For men sex is mostly a physical thing. So doing it will not change how he feels about you, for a girl it is way more emotional, thus the reason why you are confused. Don't try to validate your feelings by comparing them to his. sex does not need to change everything, the only reason why it can is because you expect it to. Just calm down, take a deep breath. It will be okay. If you need to don't have sex again for a little while. Let things calm down for you a bit.

Answer 5

You appears you are confused because you really weren't ready for that step. But now that you've taken it you need to be responsible. Did you use protection (birth control pills, condom?) You also need to think about STD's. It sounds like it would still be a good idea to talk to your stepmom. Tell her about feeling confused. If you were even considering talking to you I would bet that she will listen. You can let her know that you don't want her to judge your choice, but that you want a sounding board, and some good advice. Having a sexual relationship is a really big responsibility - are you really ready for that? Even though you have not had sex with Michael you can still decide that it would not be a good idea for it to continue or at least not in the near future. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 6

First time you had sex ever? or first time with this person?

if its the first time ever: you may be confused because your a little scared and now you have all these feeling dancing around in your head and heart.

first time with this person: Did it change your relationship by making it stronger or weaker? does it seem like you were expecting more from this person?

From my experience I have felt some of these same issues. my first time EVER, I felt almost guility like I did something wrong and I was expecting it to be like on TV, with music and candles and everything perfect, not how it happend. Sometimes we put too much thought into it.

I have also had time where I thought I would feel something more, like it would be a life changing experience, but it wasn't nothing changed.

Most of the time, until now, I was disapointed and I think that is what I was feeling through it all.

That is why sex should be with adults who are in love because love making inhances a relationship and confusion and guilt are non-existant.

Answer 7

That is a bit difficult to answer as you are not very specific as to your age, etc.
By confusion do you mean excitment or really confused because you were perhaps expecting more.
If you are walking around in a daze it might be a nice feeling. Feelings of love for that person or perhaps wondering why the heck you even did it.
So you see, there are a lot of things that could be happening to you and makes it difficult to answer.

Answer 8

For me I get light headed during sex as all the blood is drained from my body when I get an erection. Soon after when blood returns I have short term memory loss, must be from the lack of blood supplying oxygen to my brain. It confuses me as I know I had sex because well there is a wet spot on the mattress or rug or car seat or desk or kitchen counter tops or piano or car hood or matchapitchu.

Answer 9

Is it that you're wondering whether you made the right decision? If that is what you mean, I think that's normal. If you feel you made a mistake, don't do it again until you're ready. Go with your instincts. Don't confuse sex with love! They don't always mean the same.

Answer 10

This happens because expectations are generally very high and the actual event is often just awkward or painful. Also, love is often associated with it and sometimes the love ends right away.