I am happliy married but was wondering what other people thought of this.Is it better to stay married for the kids even if it is an unhappy marriage?
2007-03-13 07:14:33 · 18 answers · asked by superwomen 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK I see that apparently people don't read very well. I do believe that if you can stay married without fighting and abuse between two people than I suggest staying married, if your married life is a daily struggle of conflicts, fights and verbal or physical abuse than divorce is better.
I wish people would understand not every hypothetical question is a a real question about your life. Sometimes you just wonder about things.
2007-03-13 07:59:56 · answer #1 · answered by Petra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, assuming the marriage is civil and there is no abuse or adultery going on, then it is better to stay married for the children.
People today confuse peace, harmony, the lust of early marriage, and easy times with what many call a "happy marriage". Likewise, when a marriage matures, lust has dwindled, times are tough, and other things pull for the attentions of the husband and wife, many people confuse that with an "unhappy marriage".
Life in general is tough, and you have to MAKE your own happiness. A marriage, and even more, a family is like a single life multiplied by 2 or more, meaning that the challenges and heartaches are multiplied.
We each owe it to ourselves to make ourselves happy first and not assume that is the job of our spouse.
Most unhappily married people that divorce are simply selfish people that aren't willing to try harder. Those with children have to try even harder.
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2007-03-13 14:21:04 · answer #2 · answered by non_apologetic_american 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, because no matter how hard you try to hide it, the kids can tell something is going on. It is much better for the kids to live in a happy house with one parent then to suffer in an unhappy house with two angry parents. I think the parents should try everything possible before divorcing, marriage counseling, etc.., but in the end, everyone is better off with the divorce if things don't work out.
2007-03-13 14:20:08 · answer #3 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's kind of obvious to me. I mean, to stay in an unhappy marriage because you believe its benefiting your kids is outrageous. Kids are not stupid. They can sense negativity even if you never fight in front of them. Kids need two whole, happy parents, whether they live together is not the issue. It hurts the kids more to see their parents so unhappy in life and with each other, than it would to go through a separation. Don't get me wrong, divorce is hard on a kid, but staying together when youre unhappy only prolongs the pain.
2007-03-13 14:19:48 · answer #4 · answered by Robin L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I grew up with parents who "stayedtogether for the kids" and the constant fighting tore me aprt and made me so confused about a healthy relationship that I started repeating thier mistakes. I was married for 6 years and recognized the same pattern in my relationship-I had a son but found that staying for his sake wasnt the right answer it wouldnt make anyone happy and make me even start to resent him when I am older-Life is short and you cant spend it living in a dead end marriage to make your kids happy they will know anyway how unhappy you are. That being said if you do leave make sure you and your spouse do whatever you have to do to reassure your kids that just because youve split it doesnt change your commitment to your kidsand that you will still work as a team to be great parents.
2007-03-13 14:40:10 · answer #5 · answered by baseballlover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the definition of "unhappy". Are you unhappy because of abuse or violence? Or are you unhappy because your marriage has gotten a little boring and needs to be spiced up? I believe a husband and wife should do whatever it takes to make sure their relationship cannot work and not give up too soon. I believe they owe it to each other and their kids to try. However, if they are fighting all the time then that is not good for kids. I guess it depends on the situation.
2007-03-13 14:19:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is your marriage so unhappy? Have you tried marriage counseling with your spouse yet? If not then try to please. Do not stay in the marriage just for the kids as this is not fair to them at all... It is living a lie. you should only choose to stay in the marriage for your husband and because you love each other. The kids will suffer even if you stay in a loveless and unhappy marriage. Either way it will hurt them.
2007-03-13 14:27:02 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that's a hard question. it depends on the home life. if the parents were fighting all the time and it made for a bad environment then no it is not better. the age of the kids could also factor in. if the kids were older then they are more likely to understand what is happening, and might want to see both of their parents happy. it really depends on the situation but it most cases i don't think it benefits anyone to go on with the illusion of a happy family.
2007-03-13 14:24:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not better. Children feel the tension and unhappiness in a home and this will cause worse problems for them than if the parents just ended a bad relationship.
2007-03-13 14:19:23 · answer #9 · answered by Trisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not better to stay married for the sake of the children.
The children feed from a relationship.....whether it is good or bad. And just as obviously, a poor relationship would send out negative vibes, thus negative behavior from the children.
2007-03-13 14:22:53 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋