Why do men think they have the right to abuse and cheat on their wives?

Question

If they didn't do this then the divorce rate would be so much lower.

Sorry, I meant "too many men".

Fortunately it's never happened in my family, but I've heard so many stories.

Answer 1

A man will abuse a woman for many reasons. At the heart of these relationships is the need for power and control. Other factors include stress, drug use, some men are from family backgrounds in which they have seen their fathers being abusive, the man may have a sense of inadequacy, job frustrations and sex roles issues.

Also, many men who are abusive are very jealous and insecure and have very poor communication skills. A lot of men who are abusive are very polite and passive in public, yet they may behave abusive at home. Some men are insecure and some like the feeling of being the dominent partner

The cycle of abusive relationships

These relationships are usually a process and follow a pattern.

The fight --- The making up phase---The tension building phase----The fight.

The abuse starts with fights, quarrels acts of intimidation and humiliation which may build up to physical encounters. After the abuse, many individuals will go through a honeymoon or making-up phase. The making-up phase may be associated with feelings of guilt, remorse, promises that it will never happen again and even intense sex. After the making-up phase, there may be a cooling-off period and this is soon followed by the building up of tension and the fights start again.

TIPS IN DEALING WITH ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

Any form of abuse in a relationship is not acceptable.

Never blame yourself for the abuse. Often the woman is blamed for the abuse and she is sometimes made to feel that the abuse is due to something she might have said or done.

Seek professional help at the first signs of abuse in your relationship.

Do not allow yourself to become isolated from family and friends. Keep a supportive network.

Avoid becoming dependent in your relationship. The more dependent you are, the more vulnerable you are to abuse.

If your partner is not willing to seek professional help, create an exit strategy.

Consider your options. You do not have to remain in a relationship because of children, money, disapproval from family, loss of status or religion.

Every woman deserves to be happy and you should never accept abuse as your lot in life.

as for the cheating im sure some of that applies as well.

Answer 2

I don't think men believe they have the right to abuse and cheat on their wives, G/Fs, women. Maybe some do. This seems like a rather broad statement and idictment of men as in "ALL" which is nothing farther from the truth.

Many men don't beat/abuse their wives or cheat on them. Obviously the ones that do either have problems or have such a distorted view based on how they were raised of women, that in some cases men don't even realize or actually know what they are doing is wrong. Of course cheating should clearly be separated from abuse.

Although both are bad in my book,......abuse, whether physical, mental, or emotional is very bad and the worse. For those that either do it or "think it's okay" has problems and needs to be arrested and get help with anger or other problems that manifests itself in such ways.

But, just to let you know, there are men out here that don't do such things. If your only experience has been cheating and abusing men, you may need to get away from your demographic area, and also maybe find what mechanism in you attracts you to such men. Some abused women leave one and find another just the same because that's all they know.

I wish you the best if you are in such a situation, and hope you can re-patriate yourself into a safe haven where you can flourish.

Answer 3

The stupid bimbo wife gives them the right! These weak kneed-no spine females that are so insecure that any thing is a form of affection. A slap to the face, a kick to the a--, a head pushed through the wall to many means at least he knows I am still here! They let guys walk all over them. They can't see the obvious staring them in the face as these guys BS them into line. They need to stand on their two feet and say enough. They need to learn from their past mistakes. Wake up, there are still a few good guys out there that will treat you like a lady. Don't be a door mat any more! Only You can change your life.

Answer 4

Hi Betty,

Not all men do this and treat their wives this way. No man or woman for that matter has a right to abuse or to cheat on you at all. We should be loving to our spouses and not abuse or cheat on them ever. Why even marry if we cannot treat or love someone the way we should? Yes you are right if they would not do this the divorce and seperation rate would be much lower and marriages would be much happier and more successful.

Answer 5

that is a huge generalization. however, A LOT of men do cheat and abuse their wives and children. cheating is a form of abuse. women cheat also. 95% of abused spouses are women. 5% are men. there's a stat that backs up a huge generalization. i don't know why men are like this. surely, they are not all this way. i have met a lot of men who are abusers, and not one of them can i explain to you. it's an irrational "right" they feel they have. power and control is the motivation for such abuse. it's horrible, i know. there are many sources within your county that could give you info on this if you want. but, i must say, I still have hope, because not everyone is this way!

Answer 6

It's always easier to put the blame on the opposite sex. But both parties are equally at fault. And not all divorces come as a result of infidelity. Many people divorce for petty reasons, such as "a lack to communicate." I always tell people that the problem is not a failure to communicate." The problem is, "whatever's causing the failure to communicate." You see, the problem is not with marriage. It's with people tying the knot, who are not ready for marriage. Many think for example that an unwanted child is reason to get married. It's not. People should get married because they love one another and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Then you eliminate the problem of cheating, and other things.

Answer 7

Betty, Betty, Betty....
"Men" do not think this as a whole. Perhaps the ones you know think this. If that is the case you are associating with the wrong type of men. As for the divorce rate attirbutable to cheating and abuse, what about those women who cheat on their husbands and/or abuse them. Yes, women do abuse men. I've seen it over and over in 30 years of law practice.

Answer 8

I am sorry I do not agree with you. Its not a man's issue, I think too many couple jump into marriage without taking their time and asserting their decision. That can cause a long time effect on a mis-match and they wake up one day and realize they don't know each other...

Each worries about little silly things and they start going back and forth at each other...then the marriage and love run out the window...Divorce court... here we come.

Answer 9

Because back before the ERA was passed men DID have the right to abuse and cheat on their wives. Beating the crap out of a wife was considered "keeping her in line" and cheating was proving their "manhood". Since women have decided they are not going to put up with that sh it any longer the divorce rates have gone up...so do we go back to when men were able to beat the crap out of their wives and cheat or stick with the way it is now? Frankly I'll stick with the way it is now...I've seen what abuse is, have no intentions of going backwards thanks.

Answer 10

It isn't only men who abuse and cheat on their spouses, there are plenty of women out there who do it too. The problem is people who think everyone is going to cheat on them and cannot learn to trust their spouse, then at the first chance, they accuse them of cheating, even if they didn't, and that is what causes the divorce.