How to deal with his warcraft addiction?

Question

My boyfriend (who is 21) is addicted to the computer game, World of Warcraft, and feels there's nothing else in life more exciting than to play it. It's effecting our relationship greatly but more so I think it's effecting his wellbeing. I try to rationalize with him to be more active outside his computer but he feels life is too boring and there's nothing else to do. He always wants me to tell him what other activities he can do and I really don't have an answer for everything but I do know playing his game for 7 hours straight, every day, is not healthy. I need help on how to deal with this and some of the things I can suggest to help him better understand what he's turning into.

Answer 1

I am a bit biased because I play World of Warcraft myself.

All I can suggest is to make other plans. Technically, his playing is only a problem if he lets it interfere with other commitments. Suggest you go out, make plans to go to the movies, out to dinner, hang with some friends. If he ignores you or conveniently "forgets" or anything like that, you need to confront him. I have a standing rule that I only play when I have nothing better to do (the wife makes sure that there is usually something better to do)

If you simply want him to change just for the sake of changing (just don't want a guy who play videogames) then maybe you might need to rethink your relationship. You should never get into a relationship with the notion of "he would be great if I could change this one little thing". That is always a bad idea.

Answer 2

I have something similar going on, I moved in with my boyfriend a few months ago and it seems like every waking hour that he wasn't at work, he was either on the computer or PS2.

If you can't think of other things for him to do (I would suggest going for a walk, a movie, something active) and there seems to be no other answer, then I wouldn't fight it.

Back to my guy, I once told him that he's a different person when he's not playing - which is true - and he seemed to listen. He still plays a few hours every day, and you know what? I let him. It's his free time, and it's not for me to decide how he spends it. Things could be worse, he could be spending all those hours having affairs, doing drugs, or street racing.

Basically, I think that if he is good to you otherwise, and he isn't doing anybody any harm, then you should let it go and find something else to occupy your own time. He may grow bored with the game, he may not. If it's taking a toll on his health in some way, he'll feel it. But he is an adult, and should be treated as such. Best wishes.

Answer 3

I hate to admit it, but I'm somewhat addicted to World of Warcraft (although not to the degree your boyfriend is...).

Some suggestions (I have no idea of what your situation is, thus if these suggestions are unreasonable due to cost or whatever, sorry...):


1. Get an account/computer and play it also.

2. Have your boyfriend put the game on a laptop computer and play over a wireless connection, thus you can at least be in the same room while he is playing

3. Get your boyfriend involved in some other hobbies that you can do together...my wife and I are both musicians, thus we spend a lot of time together playing in bands, etc. This allows me to get some quality time in with her on a weekly basis

4. Get him involved in some hobbies that DON'T involve you, just to get his mind of the game and out of the house. I take martial arts, which keeps my mind occupied


If all else fails, perhaps consider looking around for a new boyfriend.

Good luck.

Answer 4

The problem here is that you two don't have a "together" hobby...time to start generating an interest in your relationship. If you can't do that, then your relationship is doomed, sorry to say...My boyfriend and I starting playing WoW at the same time, and if anything, I play it more than he does...but that doesn't prevent me from going out and loving the weather and having fun with my friends in the real world...we enjoy hiking, canoeing, and every once in a while, just going for a nice long walk.

No, sitting at a computer for 7 hours straight is not healthy, but there are millions of people in the world that do just that, because they can't think of anything else to do.

Try planning a few days out, start to finish...picnic, hike, swim, just get out of the house. If excerise isn't your cup of tea, then rent a movie, go out to a movie, head to a library, whatever you need to do to get out of the computer chair, and put his head back in the world that you are in.

Answer 5

Here is the deal with online mmorpg's and addictions that ensue: It is based on the psychology of the brain thinking it is accomplishing something. Those games offer never-ending achievement, levels, better armor, the next best weapon, etc. And it never ends. When it "does" (meaning the majority of players have topped out) an expansion is released.

Everything written in here by women echo what I put my poor girlfriend-turned-wife through. I couldn't see it at the time. And I didn't know why I was so drawn to it. And no way was it an "ADDICTION". It absolutely is. I played Anarchy Online from 2001 to 2005 for nearly 5-7 hours every day, and switched my play time to after she went to bed so we didn't fight about me ignoring her.. and my health suffered (lack of sleep, etc). It's a nightmare. My solution? cold turkey. DONE. Delete it off every pc you have it on, and suffer through the mental withdrawal for a couple weeks. Delete browser bookmarks to discussion forums, everything. Cold Turkey is the only way. The psychology behind this is everything. There is a false stimulation of a thrill, a grandiose sense of accomplishment (as virtual and false as it may be in reality), and a feeling of close friendships. All based on a virtual reality. I went from a sun-tanned good looking athletic guy who tried the game out based on a recommendation.. laughing my *** off at all the nerds running around talking about guilds and crap.... to running my own freakin guild. Amazing. sucked even me in, and big time too.

I can't begin to explain how much I have accomplished together with my wife in the year and a half since I gave it all up. I wish I could have been LEVELING MY LIFE as much as I did in that stupid game. Maybe I would have my master's degree now, maybe we could have gone on vacation to Europe, etc, etc. I am blessed to have a good woman who loves me, and had the wisdom and patience to wait until I 'came to'.

The addicted person has to be willing to take the gamble to cut it out cold turkey and destroy all remnants of it. Make a deal to do it for at least 3 weeks, make a bet. 3 weeks is generally enough to establish a new habit.

Answer 6

Though I do like the sex answer (it will work), there are other routes you can take. have your guy join some kind of sporting league, it makes him have a commitment where he can't play WoW, though he'll still want to play, it will get him out of the house. Leagues are usually easy to join as a group or individual. They also help you meet new (real world) people who aren't lvl 48 orc hunters and such.

The biggest thing about WoW is that when you are on you can be making plans for the next three days on running instances and such. You almost have a schedule booked for stupid crap like running RFD or Ulda. But when you can have something outside of WoW to break this up, it will help you get away from your computer a little easier.

Answer 7

OH man do I feel your pain...except my husband has never been into computer games...for him it used to be PS games, then PS2, then Xbox360, now PSP.

We have been together for like 6 years and he has gotten much, much better....he used to play for like 6-10 hours at a time. But it still gets on my last nerve when he gets into a game...he gets going and still plays for like 2-3 hours at a time...he is totally gone off into another world.....

His old habits of playing for more than that landed us in marriage counseling and has spurred numerous fights over the years...once, when we were about your age, we fought because I decided to quit my job and go back to school...he FLIPPED because he said I didn't discuss it with him....well, I did...MANY times, and he agreed that my decision was a good idea...but he never would look up from his game to listen to me for REAL so he never really knew.

So my advice to you is to give him an ultimatum. I know those can be a little harsh, but since you are so young and not married, maybe it is for the best so you don't have problems in the future, they way we did. Make him choose....either cut down the playing time to 1-2 hours/DAY...or loose you. You probably deserve better, anyway.

Answer 8

You do need to make suggestions to get him away from the computer. What was his favorite activity before WoW took over his life? For example let's say he liked to go bowling:

Try - Honey, why don't we go bowling tonight for a change?

If that doesn't work try being less subtle:

Try - You know what? Watching you play games is really boring for me. I'm not going to sit around bored anymore. I'm going out - do you want to go with me?

And if that doesn't work -

Try saying you're going out and never coming back. You deserve someone who is there for you and connected to reality.

Answer 9

do what my wife said she would do if i ever got into world of warcrack - find the disc, snap it, have the internet disconnected and destroy my network. Relationships are worth more than W.O.W. even if it is developed by gods.

Answer 10

I just started playing with my husband. It's become a fun hobby that we share together. Don't knock it until you try it.