I love my family (kids and such), but I can't stand my wife! When we do stuff as a group/family it's great, everyone's happy, etc., but when it's just her and I, it SUCKS! I really can't stand her, she makes me feel horrible, tells me she hats me and stuff. What can I do? I don't really want to leave because of the kids (we have 4 and one is only 1 year old, 1 is 5, and 2 teenage boys). But I can't stand being around her 90% of the time either. I work as much as I can to support us all and keep the peace. I just don't like her, and she doesn't like me either. She's gross most of the time too, not ladylike at all. I know I screwed up when we got married, but I thougt it was the right thing to do, but it just keeps getting worse and harder to be around each other. Can NE1 relate? What should I do? Help!
2007-03-13 06:59:12 · 21 answers · asked by way_NE14a69? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it sucks if you are there and supportive and love your kids, my hats off to you. But maybe you've stuck around too long. Leave and get custody of the kids if she's a screwball.Men are getting custody rights more and more these days and I think it's high time. Some of these women today wouldn't recognize a good thing if it hit them in the face- You deserve better!! Don't think the kids don't realize what's going down. You may be doing them a favor. It's hard to say. My Mom and Dad fussed all the time and it really made us so sad. I would of hated to see them seperate, but would have loved it even better to see them Happy for Once!
2007-03-13 07:07:13 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sometimes its worse on the kids if you stay with a spouse just for the kids. They can sense the tension and unhappiness right along with you. If your really unhappy with your wife, and it sounds like you've had it,.. then you should set up visitation rights with the kids and leave. Lifes to short to stay with someone that doesnt make you happy. I stayed with my ex for way to long because I was worried about the kids, but then, I woke up and realized what I told you. I hope that you get happy real soon, and dont worry about the kids. They always adjust. Just make sure that you include them in your life. Good Luck.
2007-03-13 07:08:14 · answer #2 · answered by pebbles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first off, recognize that your kids are learning how to have an adult relationship from you and your wife. However you guys handle your relationship, expect to see it later in your kids and their relationships.
So it's time for both of you to recognize that and take pains to treat each other with at least basic courtesy and respect.
Time to make an appointment to see the marriage counselor. Are you better off together or apart? Not something strangers can answer based on a question on the internet. Time to talk to a professional and determine what you both want and how to go about getting it.
If she won't go to the counselor with you, go alone! You need to talk to an objective professional about all of this...
...because your kids are watching.
2007-03-13 07:05:25 · answer #3 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell her how you feel and get out before it gets ugly. i know the situation that you're dealing with and it just plain sucks. you need to think of yourself and your kids. your kids don't want to see mom and dad not getting along. you should make a clean break while you still can. And if contemplating divorce, you file first. women can be very vindictive in a divorce.my advice, get a good lawyer. you can't live in a situation like that, it's not fair to you or your children.
2007-03-13 07:20:33 · answer #4 · answered by sexxyblonde77 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek what's best for you, by doing that you'll have a clearer mind on other matter's of equal importance, such as your kids.
If you can't get along, then separate, a home in trouble is not a home for children.
Watch your own back, take care of yourself and seek your own happiness.
2007-03-13 07:08:08 · answer #5 · answered by namojaro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its great that you wanna do this for the kids, but you really need to think about you. im sure your older children are fully aware of how you two feel about each other and could understand if you split or eventually down the road they will understand. it might hurt everyone for awhile but its really for the better. sounds like your wife is sticking with ya for security. do what you feel is best for you and down the road things will get back on track.
2007-03-13 07:05:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I'm wondering how someone who thinks his wife is gross can have 4 kids with her. You obviously feel something -- at least every once in a while.
2007-03-13 07:17:05 · answer #7 · answered by retropink 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, only she can change herself into a classy lady, and you're right, you screwed up marrying her, and then you screwed up a few more times by bringing kids into this relationship.
Que sara, sara. Cost you and your kids to get out of this one. Try to be happy in spite of her.
2007-03-13 08:13:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do what many men who love their families do...wait till the kids are grown and get out! You'll meet someone who's right for you, just wait until the kids are 18 and you won't pay child support and they wont need you around.
2007-03-13 07:03:39 · answer #9 · answered by eternity 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can sort-of relate. That was the situation with my first wife, except I knew enough not to reproduce with her.
It's hard, but for the kids sake, try to make things work.
2007-03-13 07:02:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋