Did you know with our high divorce rates our nation has become a laughing stock? Why reinforce the joke?

Question

There's a joke that goes "How do you determine the amount of divorced American couples? Divide the weddings by 1!"

In a divorce, it's either both spouses fault or one of theirs. Either both people are responsible and aren't willing to work out their problems, or one tries all they can to work it out but the fault is 100% the others. How about instead of condemning marriage, try to discover the roots of WHY so many people get divorces. A divorce is ok only when it's necessary, but in so many cases it's not when both people are responsible for the problems. Don't be so hasty and impulsive. Don't you realize the damage this does to children and society? Oh, and a lot of people have this idea in their head that if they have multiple sex partners before their spouse that helps their marriage but it actually WORSENS it. Not that that's the only cause obviously but it's definitely something to consider...

Committment isn't as hard as people think if they just adjust and change their attitudes. My parents marriage has lasted 25+ years so far with ease. It should be made harder to get a marriage (to prevent impulsivity) but it also should be made harder to get a divorce.

ohiofire in that case the divorce is justified. If a woman puts up with cheating or abuse, then it isn't her fault.

Answer 1

well Betty, I agree with most of your statements. My wife and I have been married for over 30 yrs. She is a fantastic woman and I feel very lucky. I too feel that people just don't take marriage seriously and are more interested in p***n' their partner off than getting along. I must confess that my wife made this marriage successful, she stuck by me when most woman would have left. Now I am so thankful that she did. I think that the ideas of love itself are wrong and should take part of the blame for these divorces. As for my wife and I, we didn't fall in "love" we were probably in "lust" at first, from that, over the years love has grown further than we could have ever imagined. We each have compromised along the way over this and that and their have been the usual bickering over money, sex and in-laws along the way too. Patients is important.

Answer 2

While I definitely agree with your reasons why divorce is more common than it should be, you are incorrect in saying that our nation has become a laughing stock because of it. We are nowhere near the country with the highest divorce rate.

Currently, we rank 12th among nations with the highest divorce rate, with a rate of 49%, but the worst country, Belarus, has a whopping 68% divorce rate. That's over 2/3rds!!!

You'll notice it's all the European countries that are higher, but an interesting thing is that I noticed that a country's liberal sex laws have very little to do with divorce rates. Notice Denmark, which has some of the most liberal sex, porn and drug laws, has a divorce rate of only 35%. Even the Netherlands is below the US with only 41%. I guess porn and drugs aren't as much of a factor as some conservative politicians like to think and tell us.

Still, anytime half of couples get divorced, it's nothing to sneeze at. Your suggestions to couples to avoid becoming a statistic are right on. But we aren't as bad as politicians like to make out sometimes...

Answer 3

AMEN to all that you have said. You sound very wise,and thats refreshing. Divorce rate in America is over 50% now. And daily getting worse. You can blame the attorneys and divorce Judges,for makeing it so easy to destroy a home,and a family. I commented last night on here that I would hate to be an attorney or a judge on Judgement day.
The first place to go when a marriage is in trouble,is to the one who created marriage,God,then the 2nd place to turn is to a Godly counceler. Anything short of that is purely wrong both for the man and the woman,and God Bless the children who come in last. Men and women are so selfish,and so lazy,that they just dont do the work that a good marriage takes,it is so much easier to run away.

Answer 4

I'm guessing you've never been married to someone you no longer get along with. Do you know the hell that is?

Sadly, it's not the marriages that need work, its the choices people make. They get married in the first place for the wrong reasons, then realize it too late.

What society should do is make it harder to get married. In Vegas, all someone has to do is walk up to a counter. There should be a mandatory waiting period (like divorces have), a significant license fee, and possibly even some form of exam to see if they are bright enough to be married in the first place.

Answer 5

The rush into marriage is the problem. Ppl ignore the stuff that they don't like. They usually know up front who they are marrying but think things will change or the person can BE changed. So few are willing to bend in this very selfish society. Except for a few exceptions... 92% of the time it takes 2 to break up a marriage.
Marriage is not 50 / 50. EACH person has to give 100% of themselves to each other... and they will reap SUCH great rewards.
I'm 100% behind same sex marriage... maybe that will improve the statistics...?

Answer 6

We should be embarrassed by our high divorce rates. Marriage isn't easy, commitment isn't easy, and we seem to live in a culture where if something isn't easy anymore, we make a change. Maybe I'm a freak, but I feel this need to pass something to the next generation, to be there for my wife and kids and help everyone have a better life. When I look at my family tree, and see others who came before me, I want my place in that tree to be one of respect. It bothers me, too, that people are out for the cheap momentary thrill and aren't interested in building anything important. So - it's okay if we are the laughingstock this way, we deserve it.

Answer 7

Dont judge others unless youve been in thier shoes, In my case My ex had multiple affairs, I stayed thru 4 yrs of her running around while I tried "to make it work". Some people are in abusive relationships. Many times a couple marries in their twenties, then as years go by they grow in two different directions. In any case a child growing up in an abusive or loveless home does far more damage than a divorce. Everyone has the right to try and obtain happiness in their life,

Answer 8

Face the facts: In the rest of the world with lower divorce rates, it is widely accepted for men to have mistresses.

Another fact; pre-marital sexual relations have no correlation to divorce rate.

Sexual monogamy is just not natural or a realistic expectation.

You would be very, very surprised to know how many of the long term, happily married couples you know have had one or both partners cheat, with or without the other knowing.

Answer 9

That's because most other country's don't have the prosperity we have so women, for the most part, have less choices. So they stay in a bad marriage. In addition religion is more in bedded in there societies.

Answer 10

Yeah well compared to the ridiculous laws that other countries have concerning marriage, who are they to laugh at anyone?