he works from 6am to 8pm struggling to pay for the bills and mortgage and care for our 1 yr old daughter
he's tired all the time...we havn't had a proper good old chat for weeks...and thats bad...it all started when i gave birth to our daughter..im not saying that hes gone off me...jus that hes working to much..for example, the last time he spoke to me was last night at 10pm...'let me sleeepp'...and then he was gone...
he doesn't let me massage him and even refuses sex! now thats wierd..coz all we ever used to do was have sex...i aint bein selfish but...I WORK 24/7 AS WELL! with the baby and everything...he does sometimes get up when she crys at night...but thats it...& hes stopped eating his dinner as well..he just goes straight to bed as soon as he comes home
2007-03-13 06:47:30 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe he is suffering from depression- or maybe he is in an adulturous relationship.
2007-03-13 06:51:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I am all for staying home with your kids but if he has to work form 6am to 8pm it sounds like maybe you should get a job and let him cut back on his. It would really give you 2 more time together. This relationship is in trouble-bad!
I know you work as well but Its not the same! he should not have to get up with the baby at night. taking care of kids is hard work! I take care of my two plus 2 others from 8-5 all under 4 years old and I would never ask my hubby to do that if he worked as much as yours. He is probably so tired that he can think of nothing else. he is over worked and over stressed. next time he has a day off-demand he has a talk with you and fix this, soon!
Good luck!!
2007-03-19 08:21:24 · answer #2 · answered by samira 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I no its hard for you but maybe you should try and be a bit more supportive, and I'm not saying that your not, all I'm trying to say is hes probably stressed out and tired as you are as well. And you need support too.
When he comes home from work just be really relaxed and don't put any pressure on him, give him his dinner and don't pass any comments.
Also maybe you should ask someone to have the baby for a night and then try and massage him and see where you get.with him.
If this doesn't work then I think maybe there is something else wrong with him, like I'm sorry to say but an affair.
Hope things get better for you soon.
Love Pixie.
2007-03-21 01:49:51 · answer #3 · answered by pixie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds depressed and with a schedule like that, I don't blame him. Don't nag him about it or make more of an issue of it than there is. I understand that you work hard too, but I'm only addressing his issue right now. If there's any way you can bring more $$ into the home, like working from home a few hours a day, that would be a great relief to him. Or you can cut back on spending if at all possible. Just let him know that you really appreciate the time and effort he puts into taking care of your family, and that he's your hero. If a man feels respected and appreciated, he won't mind working hard.
2007-03-20 11:25:46 · answer #4 · answered by Vix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the man comes home from work, he's tired. Don't you know that? It's up to you to take the pressure off of him. Your child is old enough for you to work. Can your mom watch her, while you work part-time? How about the weekends? Does your husband rest on his days off, or do you keep him busy with things to do at home? Does he take a good multiple vitamin supplement? And why is he having to get up at night, when he goes to bed at 10 and has to get ready for work at 4 or 5 in the morning? If you love your husband, you'd better start looking for ways to relieve some of his stress.
You may be at home with the baby, but your time is your own. Depending on how good a housekeeper you are, and how good a mom you are, you can rest when you want to. Your husband doesn't have that option. He's busting his butt all day long, while you sit at home complaining. You should be ashamed of yourself. Stop begging for sex and start taking care of your man, girlfriend.
2007-03-13 07:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're gonna have to do something to take the workload of him or you're gonna send him to an early grave or out through the door. I know you say that you're working 24/7 aswell, but you're at home so you can at least take 5. It can be totally different in a workplace where you're expected to work for a designated amount of time. Not so at home, except for the demands of the baby of course, everything can go hang for a while, cant it.
2007-03-20 03:21:26 · answer #6 · answered by Loxie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hm yes ur bn selfish but cannot c it,
working/being a stay home mom is totally diff. from working 6am until 8pm...of course u both gets tired..but when ur a home u can put ur legs up when ur kid takes a nap. or while he is playing w.his toys...and ur hubbys moving around all day working to provide for both of u..try to understand his side a little more and appreciate him for working so hard for u guys/ And let him know that u also miss his affection and having him...try to work things out like making a schedule where u both have have a 1-1time alone.
2007-03-13 06:54:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should go out and get a job yourself. I am a mother myself and I work I stayed home with my son til he was two and i just recently got a job. I have to say that it has taken a lot of stress off my husband. Could you imagine how you would feel working those hours. Being a stay at home mom is hard work, but taking care of your child is something that is instinctive, working you tail off isn't. He is exhausted! The poor man. Help him out. He is probably depressed or even feeling incapable of providing for him family and that can really hurt a man's ego. Let him know that you appreciate him! Tell him how thankful you are for all of his hard work, acknowledge his hard work. Its sound to me that he needs an ego boost because he is probably feeling like crap. And dont tell him that you are going to get a job to help him, tell him that you want to get out of the house. Tell him you want to do it! Good Luck!
2007-03-20 07:53:57 · answer #8 · answered by lyndsyherard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from a man who's been there; he's avoiding you. Work is a man's perfect excuse, because that's what women want us to do. If I ignore my wife and say that I'm tired from work, there is little she can say because my next response will be " I have a responsibility to this family!! Don't you want the bills paid???". I'm not saying that he's having an affair, but their may be an issue that he knows will hurt your feelings if he talks about it. Now, I don't mean to offend you, but ask yourself this question: Is it possible that he is no longer physically attracted to me since I had our baby? Unfortunately, it has been known to happen.
Good luck!
2007-03-21 04:13:00 · answer #9 · answered by levell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mayb he needs to visit the doctors, this could be the start of depression. I know that this is how my depression started and if it isnt treated then it could get worse! Much worse.
That is a long day at work, is it compulsory to work these hours? Could he not change the job/hours and you claim working tax credits? Have you applied for tax credits with him working this job? its worth considering as this could help pay the bills. Then he may feel a bit better knowing that!
I hope you sort things out soon! Good Luck
2007-03-13 06:53:20 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think y'all should book a holiday - sounds like he's possibly suffering from clinical depression...don't rule it out. Certainly not suggesting that he's cheating but I would be concerned about lack of conversation...having children can affect men as well as women! He may be having a difficult time adjusting to being a father too...
Cook him his favourite meal tonight or tomorrow, draw a hot bath with candles, buy some satin sheets (don't have to be expensive - I went onto www.lxdirect.co.uk and got them for £24!) Encourage him to realise you still care for him. Hopefully something as simple as that will get him to open up a bit more....
Good luck!
2007-03-13 07:25:24 · answer #11 · answered by Mrs Stevo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋