To marry or Not to marry? Married people?

Question

I have talked to a lot of married people and got mixed review on marriage. How do you know if it is going to work? What keeps a good marriage? How long is two long for a couple to be together before marriage? Marriage or Not?

Answer 1

Marriage is a lot of work, but I couldn't imagine not being married to my wife. But if I didn't have a wonderful person to be with, I'd greatly prefer being single. But that's a guy's point of view.

Answer 2

Marriage is not a trivial matter. It is legal protection and has benefits that go to one of the partners if one of them dies; it simplifies some matters and complicates others but ultimately, it is not just a 'piece of paper.'
It is also a committed lasting bond before God between a man and a woman. If you don't want that, take legal steps to protect yourself. If you are gay, civil unions are available.
Marriage is not a trivial matter - ask anyone who's ever been divorced.
You never know that it is going to work. But it IS the end of screwing around, shopping around, sampling and having performance-type sex with people you don't know very well. If the last thing describes the kind of sex you are having with your wife or husband, then the marriage isn't going to last!
A couple can know that they are going to marry the other person the moment they meet. It happens. But most people want to get to know the other person really well before marriage. Whatever you can do to know that you truly know the person, however long that takes is the right amount of time. Living together doesn't mean much except as a 'test drive' - people who live together get divorced in just as high numbers, if not higher, than people who waited until marriage to live together.
Children need to be born to married couples - just because children need all the support they can get! It's not easy to walk away from your husband or wife but sometimes people do. They would certainly have walked away if they weren't married, too.

Answer 3

I think that marriage is wonderful. It takes two very committed people who are willing to put in a lot of hard work. The outcome is an outstanding relationship.
I married my husband after 8 yrs. of dating. We lived together for 4 of those years and had a 6 yr. old son. We waited that long because he was not ready for marriage. The idea scared him, I'm not sure why, so we waited. It ended up being the best thing we could have done for our relationship. It gave us time to mature a bit and by the time we married we were certain that it was right for us.
It takes a lot of work to be married and I think that most people are too lazy for it. When things get rough, they just bail. That is why divorce rates are so high, marriage is not for quitters!

Answer 4

Fear is the main reason people do not marry, marriage is a choice, and if it takes you 5 yrs to choose commitment with the one you are with, then something may be wrong in the way you see relationship and marriage. You cannot guarantee what someone else will do, they have a free will just as you do. But I can tell you that a good marriage takes work, with the understanding that perfect love has no fear, learn to choose right then that will be one less reason to be divorced

Answer 5

It is totally up to you whether you choose to ever want to marry or not. You choose to love and marry someone so marriage is a choice and so is choosing to love and be with that person for the rest of your life. Communication and unconditional love and honesty and commitment makes a good marriage. Wroking through things together and not fighting and yelling about it. I would say it should take at least a good solid year of dating before even thinking of marrying. If you are ready for marriage and are marrying for the right reasons then yes marry but if not then do not marry.

Answer 6

Yes - marriage. I know it's going to work because before we were ever engaged, my husband and I talked about EVERYTHING we wanted in life. How many kids, how we would save or spend our money, what sort of lifestyle we wanted, our beliefs, our goals......etc. And we even talked about the fact that we both believe divorce is too easy and that we believe in working things out, not throwing in the towel when things get rough. We talked about communication and have stuck to that.
We were together for 7 months when we got engaged and got married 2 years after we met. 18 months to plan a wedding and get things in order was a good enough time.
BUT - we also both agreed that at our ages and our stages in life (I was 24 with a child and he was 28) if two people are together over a year and don't know if they want to spend the rest of their life together, they should cut their losses and move on. They don't HAVE to be engaged after a year, but they need to be thinking about the future!

Answer 7

How do you know if it is going to work? You don't

What keeps a good marriage? Trust, Communication and a lot of work

How long is two long for a couple to be together before marriage? Until you know every single one of each other's quirks and know for a fact that you CAN endure/tolerate them permanently.

Marriage or Not? That is totally up to you.

Answer 8

All about personal taste. You ´never´ know if it´s going to work, incredible sex keeps it fun (atleast), and we were in love for about 2 and half years before. I like being married, but it is young. Everybody has personal reasons why they would commit to something as powerful as ´Marriage´. So, all in all, be a good spouse, listen, compromise, realize that your role in the relationship is as a hostage negotiator (lol, no really) and have fun. When you are married you don´t have to hide the sex. You can have sex like bunny rabbits on the floor if you wanted to. And I can´t wait till I get older so I can start doing the really freaky things...lol...I gotta get going now, doll. Take it Eazaaaaaaaay.

Answer 9

i wouldn't advise you to get married young...and marriage is hard work...very hard work ...Like taking honors classes in high school.. I think if you can live with them for three years first than you will pass the 3 year ( get to know everything phase) The first three to five years are the hardest, but if you can do it while you are dating then thats great...Also I would take couples counseling before getting married so you can help your marriage even before it starts.

Answer 10

I love being married. Communication, Sacrifice, Love, Paitience, Commitment makes a marriage work and be good. I would recommend co-habitaing prior to marriage.