To all the swingers out there?

Question

I am just wondering how you deal with your partner having sex with someone else, then you? Do you ever wonder if they will get attached to another swinger? I couldn't imagine knowing that my man was sleeping (sex) with someone else!

How can you really be okay with it. Doesn't it hurt in deep down ( I mean really )!

Answer 1

No, in fact it doesn't hurt at all. If it does, you shouldn't be doing it. Period. It's supposed to be fun. The difference is that swingers look at sex in a completely different way. And 'different' doesn't mean 'unhealthy'. As long as it's not interfering with their relationship or with their mental, emotional, spiritual or psychological health, for some people being able to see sex as something completely separate from love - as a biological function that demands respect as a means of human communication - can actually be a very good thing.

As RacerX said, I too enjoy the idea that my husband is a beautiful creature that I have no right to control or hinder. It feels like putting an animal back into it's natural habitat. Setting it free. His feelings are my priority. Not my own insecurities. I love him, and for me, it's nothing but joy to know that I am able to give him this kind of freedom. It defines me in a very, very good way.

Answer 2

I don't have to deal with my partner having sex with someone else because I love when she has sex with someone else. Her having a great time makes me happy. I am part of that great time. As she says, I'm her safety net that enables her to be the wild, sexual woman she is. I don't have to deal with it because it turns me on. Just like the first time I saw her.

I treasure her sexuality and I'd never ask her to reign it in for me, although she did for the first six years we were together. When we were secure enough in our relationship that we knew neither of us was ever going anywhere without the other, we were able to make all those fantasies we'd talked about a reality.

I'm just not the jealous sort I guess. I am not in the least bit insecure about myself, my wife, and our relationship. My worth to my wife is never in question.

Swinging is something we do as a couple for us as a couple. It benefits both of us in similar ways. And we are more in love today then we were before we started swinging... and that was allot! Swinging is simply an extension of our already great relationship and abuntant sex together.

Do I wonder if she'll get emotionally attached to someone else? Not over sex... No. It's just sex. We're not in love with each other and married to each other because of great sex. It's everything else that makes a relationship, like companionship, trust, passion, loyalty, respect, being best friends. It's knowing each other's deepest, darkest secrets and still loving each other without question. It's all this and we have great sex together. And it's because all this that no matter how good the sex is with someone else, it will never be the same as sex with me? Why? Because sex between us is soul sex. It's not only physically satisfying, it's emotionally fulfilling. Sex with others is just physically satisfying.

Anyone who's ever had a one night stand with someone they absolutely lusted will know exactly what I am saying. It's great sex at the time, but it's not the same as sex when you are in love. One satisfies one thing about you at the time, the other satisfies everything about you.

There are 3 billion other men in the world... Why did she decide to marry me? Because I'm everything the other 2.99 billion men aren't to her. And the same goes for her with me. Taking sex out of the equation as being THE reason we are together has clearly defined the reasons listed above as why we are married to each other and not other people.

There is an incredibly liberating feeling within a relationship when you've opened the door for someone, like we have, and they don't walk through it. There is complete trust between us. We are never, ever in suspicion of each other because there is no reason to lie to each other. If you can be honest about sexual desires with your spouse, imagine how easy it is to talk about money or problems with the kids?

I hope that makes sense. Sometimes trying to describe this is like trying to describe why you skydive to someone who's afraid of heights. They can't understand. Because of their own fears they only see that you're jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.

Answer 3

sWINGER ARE LOGICLY WRONG AND IT IS OF COURSE HURT FULL IF YOUR PARTNER IS A SWINGER AND ID SAY TRY HELPING HIM TO GET OUT OF THAT PROBLEM.