about zero tolerance in schools?

Question

First before i tell about the situation, i first have to say, that neither myself, or my son have anything against people who are gay.
My son has been getting bullied by a kid who knows he can instigate my son, and get him into trouble. This boy got him suspended at the start of the year, for shoving my kid while they were playing a game of ball, and when my son shoved him back, because the kid wouldn't stop, y son was suspened.
Yesterday, this boy, had his parents and his best friend call in and say my son was just calling him gay all the time. the context of the situations was never considered, and my boy was suspended for sexual harrassment. I got the full context of each situation, and found that the kid has been instigating my child, including getting too physically close to y child, so my child just asked "if he was gay" because he wouldn't stop. the kid has also called my kid gay, and asked if my son was coming on to him, so my child said "i'm not gay,

continued, my son said back, I'm not gay, your gay." meanwhile the kid is knocking over the milk my son is serving for lunch helping out in the kitchen.

The kid had his best friend complain to his parents, and the day they new joey was going to be suspended, they purposely sat next to my son. My son asked a teacher if she could have them sit elsewhere, and she yelled at my son for being rude. After i got the whole story, i talked with the principle and she didn't want to hear what my kid has been going through. she said its zero tolerance, but according to what they have done, its only zero tolerance for a select few kids. My kid has been kicked, sweared at and instigated all year, and when i told this to the principle, the only thing i got was a "Oh MY GOD" whisper, which she didn't think i heard on the phone.

this is a small school, only 40 kids, and my son has become the scapegoat. What would you do?

okay, my question is, what would you do if your child is getting in trouble, and the other kids are getting off scoott free? That is not zero tolerance.

they called this sexual harrassment, and he is suspended for sexual harrassment. I don't agree with my child about how he is handling the situations and he is grounded at home also.
My point is, when he goes back to school, this other kid now knows that he can tell the teachers anything he wants and get my child in trouble.
My child actually did try to get a teachers help and got yelled at instead, and told he was rude for asking that this boy sit else where, instead of next to him, because he new they were there to start more trouble. If they are so afraid of him, why are they sitting next to him to instigate more trouble, when they know he will e getting suspended that day after lunch. He didn't even know what was happening at that point. Sorry to ramble, but zero tolerance, is just that.I ask what you would do?

Sorry, and yes, he was suspended for calling a kid gay, who was also calling him gay. Thats it! Sexual harrassmentment.

If zero tolerance means one kid gets away with it, its not zero tolerance. Its like a parent who favors one kid over another, and the one that tells can get the other sibling in trouble when ever he tells, with out question.

I wouldn't be ranting so much about it, but i a pissed! It makes my child sound like a sexual predator!

Answer 1

My children went to a very small school also. First- I (as the parent) would have discussed the bullying issues with the principal, counselor, and teacher the first time I was told by my child.
Second, I would have taken research in to the school- such as policies on bullying, fighting,harrassment (etc). The reason for this is to show the school that you DO know the policies and can take it to the next level- such as Superintendent or the Department of Education.
There is no reason for these issues to still be going on. It sounds like there needs to be a conference between ALL of the parents involved, prinicpal, teachers, and counselor of the school.
All of the boys should be told that none of this will be excused and they are being watched by the school officials- if need be bring the police department into the situation. In my state bullying is not accepted in the schools- and can come with punishments such as suspension, etc.
hope this helps!

Answer 2

Here's my honest answer, and I don't mean to offend. You acknowledge several things that your son has done that he shouldn't have done (shoving another kid, calling another kid gay) but you are not acknowledging your son's responsibility in these matters. Instead you are putting all the blame on the other kid because he did it first. I think your son should be punished for what he did. I think he needs to learn how to respond to these situations more appropriately.

Second, usually a parent doesn't see what her child is like at school, and it might surprise them if they did. I finally had a policy of putting a camera in my room when I used to teach because parents never believed how their kids acted at school. The fact is that your son may be a little more responsible for the bullying than you realize. On the other hand, maybe he is not responsible for it. Maybe he really is being picked on. Either way, he is not responding properly.

As for the policy at his school, it sounds like this is either a really silly strict policy to suspend a kid for calling another gay, or else there is more to the story- like the suspension is not because of this one event but rather because of the accumulation of events.

Answer 3

Where do you live where their is such a small amount of kids?
Seems you the money and the auto (power) to take little "Y"out of that suburbial conflict and take him to the city school where he can learn how to really fight off some strange people, teachers and principles. REALLY you have a problem and if everyone there is against you and your little "Y" you'd better go elsewhere or deal with this Minute problem

Answer 4

Amanda, blogs are ideal media to rant. Yahoo Answers is not a blog. The idea is: you ask a question; somebody posts an answer. If there is a question in your narrative, it couldn't be gleaned.
-MM