I need a man's opinion...?

Question

I just had THE TALK with my boyfriend of almost 2 years (he's 40 and I'm 35). He brought it up, because he thought I might be feeling impatient. I do want to get married, but neither of us are prepared to sell our place and buy one together (we're both remodeling this year) and he's about to make a change at work.

My thought is that we'll need at least a year to finish our home projects and for him to settle in at work, before we can think about marriage. He agreed and seem relieved.

I assured him that I love him and want to marry him, but that I want to be logical about this to avoid making a mistake (we're both divorced).

Did I handle THE TALK well from a guys perspective? I figure it's all about timing.

Answer 1

Well, OK, not a guy here, but I tend to be a practical sort of gal myself, and I think that being practical and resonable go a long way toward avoiding dumb decisions. I think the two of you should continue to be open and honest about your feelings, and at the very least, ask your boyfriend for his impressions of your 'talk' the other day. Encourage him to be honest so that you know directly from HIM how the talk went. Who cares if a bunch of men on Yahoo like the way you describe the conversation, they aren't considering marrying you in one/two years...LOL

Answer 2

Sometimes people get married just for the fact they are afraid of losing each other, or losing a companion if that makes sense. It seems that you both established that a future together is what you both want, I think it was handled ok. A year will go by fast, so it is in both of your interests if you start to think about what is going to happen to either one of your places of living. Getting a place together will be more successful than will one of you selling and moving in to the others place. It won't feel like its a shared home. I know from experience.

Answer 3

I think the discussion went well. It appears as though you both are moving in the same direction. Remodeling work can be viewed as a necessary step in selling one place or the other or both so that wouldn't bother me. And the job situation must be stable for there to be any chance that a marriage can occur. I think this is a question from someone who is well prepared and emotionally together. Something we don't often see here in yahoo!!!

Answer 4

Pete Rose did no longer abuse of any substance or the different ingredient to extend his overall performance, Barry bonds in the different hand did it, until 1997 Barry Bonds replaced right into a large participant a secure corridor of recognition. the ingredient is that Rose broke the golden rule of baseball after the black sox scandal, by no skill wager on the sport, in Bonds protection steroids and function drugs weren't unlawful on the 2nd an he mislead the congress and each and all the followers who have faith interior the greatness of the sport, all people use steroids or different substance interior the MLB and the group proprietors knew it so he shouldn't lie approximately, i additionally think of that Sosa, Schilling are the two liars and are a shame to the sport and them self, the only one that had the braveness and tell the actuality replaced into Giambi he admit it and he nonetheless interior the majors so why lie.

Answer 5

I think so, it's giving him the answer he needs, and being reasonable also.Just to show him your serious, it won't hurt to look at rings, gowns, colors, etc. kinda start loosely planning your wedding. As far as homes, have you two discussed moving into one or the others home?
Depending on your assets you both should consider a prenup, in case you have retirements etc.
If your both going to sell and purchase one together that's OK too. If I were you each of you should share in the down payment by putting half down on your new home.
Then enjoy the rest of your lives together, and on a personal note, congratulations, and good luck

Hope this helps

Answer 6

Sounds like you did well. Timing is important, but as equally important is flexibility and not putting pressure on one another. The house thing may take a while. My fiancee sold her home and moved into my home for 3 years. We then married. Now, 4 years later, my home is for sale and we are living in a townhome we bought together. Good luck.

Answer 7

You did do an awesome job. Prepare to get DUMPED once the homes are completed. Your allowing even supporting excuses. There is love and there is life, they should not conflict. I married my wife in the midst changing jobs, buying and remodeling our home (which I did myself) and her surgery. There needs to be support and compromise on both your parts, I see yours, where is his. Do you have a big rock (bling, bling) ? Do you have dates set (remodeling completion, app. with wedding planner, anything)? Well anyway, I guess it is good that you are there for him !!!!

Answer 8

I think you are a very responsible person! At least everything is out in the open. Your boy friend should appreciate that! I hope the best for you no matter when or how it turns out!

Answer 9

You did fine. I always wonder when someone is as practical as you seem to be. I have always been the one that want's to just jump in and assume that everything will work out in the end. I have been lucky because it always has.

Answer 10

so what ,your divorced.it's only a word.Don't move in with eachother if there is a doubt in his mind.Just use what you have.....try saying to the next person who brings up the topic in front of you both"(say it with confidence),ppfff!!, we like our privacy to much ,ya know how it is?"watch him spin after that one..trust me