He is seperated from his wife & kids and he is living with us, his mom & dad. He gets to see his kids when he wants but he's afraid once the divorce proceedings come up that she will want full custody. He also has a drug & drinking problem. I want to help him & he wants help. He's told me so.
2007-03-13 06:09:19 · 10 answers · asked by spacebeam2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She will not likely be granted full custody.....that is no small feat. If your son gets help the judge will be more likely to consider that he is responsible and take into consideration that he has parents that will assist him. You cannot have him admitted against his will unless he poses a physical threat to himself or those around him. If he checks in voluntarily, he can also check out voluntarily at any time. If he truly wants the help then do it with him, but you will have to be firm, and sometimes that can be very hard.
2007-03-13 06:16:12 · answer #1 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Call a local hosp.I f they don't do rehab,they should have a list of who does. Or call AA. They usually have extensive lists;There are rehabs all over the country;any country. Some are of the opinion that a rehab far away from the area you live in is best. After rehab is the most difficult. Many addicts move back to the area and friends they get high with,and it starts or can start all over again.If you or the rest of the family can afford it, you should relocate him.I'll say prayer for you guys. Even if you don't believe,it cant hurt
2007-03-13 16:47:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF he really wants help he would be willing to seek it on his own with your help not the other way around. There is nothing wrong with one parent getting full custody of the children while the other is granted visitation. I was granted full custody and my ex has visitation. Considering your son has a drugh and alcohol problem that is probably the only way the court would find anyway...they have to rule on the basis of what is best for the children, exposure to drugs and alcohol abuse is not best....
2007-03-13 13:55:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am glad that he wants to go to rehab. He will need your help. If he has medical insurance call them and see what benefits they have and what treatment centers they approve. Many rehabs start with detox which lasts 5 days. After that he needs an intensive residential treatment lasting about 3 weeks. This is followed by AA or NA meetings.
If there is no insurance look in the yellow pages and begin calling. There are many programs that are funded by the state and federal governments and available to qualifying individuals at little or no cost.
For more info. you can e-mail me at xtype02@hotmail.com
2007-03-13 13:19:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants help then let him know that the judge will look more favorably and sympathetically upon him if he is activtly in treatment. He has a couple of options: In patient for a anywhere from a couple of days to 28. Out Patient - which means he just goes to the hospital a couple of times a week for several hours of support groups, groups therapy and one-on-one counseling. He can also join groups like AA and have his sponsor come to the hearings to speak on his behalf, i.e.: "He's 30 days sober and has been to 30 meeting in 30 days and doing very well." etc...
Good Luck!
2007-03-13 13:18:06 · answer #5 · answered by f w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love your son where he is at and be a shoulder he can cry on and someone he can talk to about this. You cannot force him to seek help and get therapy for this. Until he admits or realizes he has a problem he will not feel he needs help or seek it either. If he truley wants help then get him into a drug rehab program asap and also AA as well... Make sure to go with him to the meetings if he wants you there. He needs to do what he can to help himself with this problem and he will be able to stand up more for him self with custody issues if he does all he can to get and seek the help that he needs... Good luck to the both of you and i hope he does what he needs to to to get the help he needs try going to http://www.drphil.com and email them for help and advice in this matter... Dr Phil may be able to find and get him the help that he needs in this matter. You also need to see if there are treatment centers in your area or not that can help him. Since you are involved in this matter with him and helping him get help and offering to help him with his daughter i doubt she will get full custody anyways. I am so glad you are loving and supportive of him with all of this... There should be more loving and helping parents like you out there.
2007-03-13 13:33:12 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to do it for the kids. As long as he is the bio father he can be with his kids. Tell him to clean himself up the way he would want his kids to do it if the roles were reversed. He has to put himself in your shoes and just do it. What would he do if one of his kids had the problem? Probably move heaven and earth to get them the help they needed. He has to be stronger than the drugs and alcohol right now.
Good luck, really feel for you.
2007-03-13 13:19:28 · answer #7 · answered by . 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look in the blue pages of the phone book under mental health or the police department can tell you how to contact rehab services.
2007-03-13 13:14:28 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he wants help then get him to call the local Mental Health Center and tell them he needs help with drugs and alcohol and they should be able to get him going in the right direction..Good Luck..
2007-03-13 13:14:49 · answer #9 · answered by halfpint22 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are currently enabling him by providing room and board. Take a tough stance and drive him to a facility or therapist TODAY. Set strong ground rules that if he is not going to therapy, working etc., you are kicking him out by a certain date. Stand by this and don't waiver.
By getting help, this will also help him in divorce court and show that he is trying to be a better father.
Good luck.
2007-03-13 13:17:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋