I am also a housewife and i have 3 little ones. I have and stilll am in a situation like yours.The word "divorce" has been mentioned so many times in our arguments. He tells me that I dissapointed him because one time I really left him. I told him that i cant live with someone who feels that i am dissapointing or annoying. :( I went to a shelter and took my kids with me. I went back several hours later and he still told me how dissapointing i was and how i betrayed him. It hurts alot. He has gotten physical with me about 3 times and broke some furniture. He says "pushing or shoving" isnt abuse. I didnt lay my hands on him. He has emotionally abused me. He says its not true. My daughters need both of us too but you know what.....i still feel as if im a single mother at times because i do the most for them and he is gone at work. My advice to you is.....you deserve to be happy and so do your children. Ask yourself..."do my kids deserve two parents who dont love eachother?" In my opinion your children dont need to see you unhappy or their father unhappy. They feel that kind of negativity. NEVER EVER believe everything is your fault because its not. Its always easier to put the blame on someone else and make them feel like dirt. Think about what would be best for your kids first. I thought for my kids, leaving and taking them away from the negative at home would be best but now im afraid again of course. You deserve to be happy and your children. In my opinion, if i were you, i would start a new life a new home and a happy one for the children. But NEVER blame yourself...be strong :) I wish i was strong enough :) Good luck to you
2007-03-13 08:44:27
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answer #1
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answered by Sweetheart 2
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That's a huge amount of stress, staying home with two kids under twenty months, and when you've got that much stress, fighting over little things is very, very common.
Try to take a deep breath and see if there's someone you can both talk to--a counselor or trusted member of the clergy would be good--so you can get some perspective.
In the meantime, do whatever you can to get some free time for the two of you to talk and clear the air. It'll probably take several talks, and likely some tears and raised voices, but you really can't just let things continue they way they are.
A lot of people don't realize how very stressful staying home with children can be, but you're on the job 24/7, mostly without a break. Try to take time for yourself when you can, and for the two of you as a couple. It does work.
Good luck.
2007-03-13 07:30:11
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answer #2
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answered by Darla S 2
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Sherry u need to do two things, communicate well and give it some more time. You cant expect him to change overnight..We men sometimes dont get to realise how much our partner loves us, but realise this only when its too late.
Divorce is easy but its not the solution to your problems. You should sit down and discuss with him to find out each others expectations..
Try not giving him much importance when he hangs around. The more u express ur love the more he gets over his head. Be flexible and let go your ego and emotions for a while. Make love as you did before. You can both be strong and have a future ahead.
2007-03-13 15:45:52
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answer #3
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answered by Jack 2
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It's ok... It's just passing phase of life. Just try adding some spice to your life. Suicide is no solution. It would just add into your depressions. Some day your husbands gonna feel the missing spice and long for it too.
Just remember, don't let your fights cross the limits. try avoiding them. Go to your husband and let him know ho bad you felt about the fight. If he starts pointing out your faults, just stop him saying you don't wanna land up in any such intense fight again. He is not suffering because of you. Could be something else. Just have patience and play your part well.
All the best...
:-)
All the best...
:-)
2007-03-13 12:03:00
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answer #4
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answered by plato's ghost 5
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I can under stand the state of your mind your and my problem is 80% the same.
I know this is the worst situation faced by me also, what i did try to do the same if you can.
firstly i send my daughter to my parents. i know this was a harsh decision for me but to get the things work i did so.
secondly i started controling my anger, as you might have experienced if one will be quite the situation will be under control.
thirdly give him your time a s he might be feeling neglected as this is the state of men to behave like that.
fourthly take help from your parents or in-laws who ever will cooperate .
Don't argue and never think of commeting any suicide, think what will happen to your kids who are at no fault, live for them they deserve to hav e a mother like you.
You are at no fault don't blame yourself men are such and make them repent but slowly and slowly.
Best of luck . I don't want to hear from you again that you will make your life miserable make other.
2007-03-13 20:32:25
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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sometimes men behave in a macho way. he is doing the same. But remember that your kids need you. Be there for them. Do not inflict any pain to yourself. see if you you both can get counseling or professional help. sometimes men are selfish and start behaving this way. He looks irresponsible to me. with 2 kids under 20 months, this is the time that you will need him most, his love, care and help. Ask a relative to put some sense to him. wish you all the best
2007-03-13 18:04:54
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answer #6
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answered by hassanchris 2
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i understand that with 2 small kids u remain too busy and preoccupied most of the time and it leaves no time to look after ur husband. may be slowly it's building tensions.
relax for some time and then try to rearrange the things so that u have quality time together. take help of elders to manage kids.
2007-03-13 22:08:23
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answer #7
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answered by Kumar 5
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try to know if he is into any personal financial problems. by nature a man alwys get short tempered and iriitated when he is not able to meet his commitments. its alwys better to talk to him and tell him that u are with him in all his problems and happiness.
a complex of responsibility does take place when u get children and often a man can not cope with the extra burden.
was his behavour with u the same after marriage.
i am sure somethin is troubling him. talk to him - stop nagging and understand him give him a chance to explain- i am sure it will help.
dinesh.
2007-03-14 22:03:00
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answer #8
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answered by dkb_dk2000 1
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2016-10-18 06:58:41
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answer #9
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answered by ? 4
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Don't take any decision in anger as you will repent later. My elders used to say a nose cut in anger will never grow back in so don't jump to in any conclusions. You love him have patience and if he gets mad at you just smile don't feel bad.
2007-03-13 08:36:07
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answer #10
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answered by Bacti 3
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