What are some facts that you can look at, inorder to tell if a relationship is gonna be ABUSIVE or not?

Question

What are the typical signs of an abusive relationship and partner, ow do u change that?

Answer 1

You don't say whether this is for you or not, but, to simplify the writing, I'll just say 'you' for the potential victim.

Control-freaky stuff is often an indicator, especially when the person wants to control who you see, or tries to cut your ties to your family and friends -- socially isolate you. Or you have to do things EXACTLY this way (though this last, by itself, could mean something else).

Excessive jealousy and suspicion -- assuming that every time you spend time with someone or talk to or smile at someone, that means you're unfaithful, or thinking about cheating.

Verbal abuse and constant criticism -- everything you say is dumb or wrong, everything you do is wrong, or done badly, "you're always such a klutz" "always clueless" "always selfish" "never ...".

Also, if the person's personality changes when they get drunk -- if they get ugly when drunk, over time, they're likely to drink and get violent.

Alternating between ugly behavior and "I'm so sorry, honey; I love you."

For fuller lists, use your favorite search engine -- there are lists on the web of danger signs, red flags, whatever. The above list is off the top of my head.

Change it?

IF you can get the person into some kind of therapy or violence control program those can help. But this is not easy to do, and usually the best thing to do is get out and keep away from them.

Answer 2

Very good question. One thing to look for is if either person was abused by their parents, and by abuse I mean any striking of a child, even spanking. Oddly enough, very often women who were hit will seek out and date men who will hit them (it's a long story, called "repetition compulsion"). Another thing to look for is if either person tends to resolve conflicts through aggressive means.
If you are in a relationship already, well if either party makes a habit of hitting the other, that's a bad sign. But also, a excessive amount of shouting, insults being thrown, is not a good sign. Either get out and never speak again, or seek professional help.

Answer 3

I think you have very few tell tale signs other than their history in previous relationships. Their approach is very subtle, jealousy showing in a healthy way, confinement made to look like romantic time together, put downs periodic, Usually respected, listener more than talker. Then one day boom, I believe you have to state to your partner what you will not tolerate from day one. If there is extremes of jealousy, confinement, put downs, anything that is negative toward your mental and emotional state you are in trouble. You don't change that, they do and if they don't , it doesn't matter you're nothing.

Answer 4

-Need to control
-Lack of respect or acceptance of other partners opinions
-Belittling
-Putting own needs before partner's
-Potential to loose temper
-Past abusee or abuser
-Manipultive behavior

etc.

At the early stage in the game, it is best to get out of the relationship as apposed to trying to change the other person. If it is late in the relationship and the person starts exibiting signs like this, it is probably indicative of a major change in their life and it is best to seek therapy. That way you can locate the source of the problem and treat it fully

Answer 5

Overly jealous is a start. You usually cant change people.

Answer 6

If they dress like a prick and drive like an idiot. 'Gear Heads' are often abusive...atleast from what I have seen