My step daughter's biological father and his family are Jehova's Witnesses. In the current custody agreement, he has her every other weekend, but he works and she spends a lot of time with his mother. The grandmother has been trying to influence her for years...first telling her there was no Santa and we were lying to her, now she is telling her that Mommy and Daddy and little brother aren't going to heaven because we don't believe in God. Although we aren't religious, we do believe in God, just not the same religion...We explain this to her, but it's not something she should have heard in the first place. Is this grounds for getting full custody? We don't want to take her away from half her family, but this is getting ridiculous. Does anyone have similar experiences?
2007-03-13 06:04:28 · 11 answers · asked by Killer B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
FYI...Jehovas Witnesses absolutely don't accept any other religions...
2007-03-13 06:14:47 · update #1
It also came up in mediation about the Santa Clause thing, and the mediators told him to keep his mom under control...
2007-03-13 06:19:27 · update #2
She is five years old
2007-03-13 06:20:50 · update #3
You can go to court and have something stated in the custody agreement that these kinds of things can not be said in front of the child. To tell a child that her other parents are not going to heaven is HORRID and can cause emotional distress. You need to document all of these things and maybe start by discussing your concerns with the other parent first so the courts will see that you have attempted to resolve the problem before going to court. My ex-husband tried the same kind of things with my 2 boys (not about religion though) and he was ordered supervised visitation until he completed parenting classes. Something like that may be an option for you to start with if they cannot watch their mouths around the child. Children have inherent rights to freely love each parent without the other parent saying negative things. I think this also includes extended family if the other parent is allowing them to be exposed to them. Good luck.
2007-03-13 06:14:19 · answer #1 · answered by Tink 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Jehova Witnesses believe that the majority of them are not even going to heaven. That is one of the big "rules" of theirs, is to live each day in the complete servancy of Jehova in the hopes of being one of the chosen ones. I don't know how old your stepdaughter is, and religious differences are never an easy task, let alone with different religions involved. When she comes to you with "God" issues, try and explain (age appropriately) that you do believe in God, that if you live your life in a good way always trying to do your best, than you are going to heaven, as well as anyone else that does that. God does not judge in a cruel way, and that part of being human, is having the right to decide what your beliefs are. The whole Santa issue stems from the religion also, but could also be her way of controlling when she stops believing. Our response when our stepsons came to us with that one was pretty much, if you don't believe in santa than santa won't bring the gifts from santa. We always made sure that they understood what the meaning of Christmas is from the religious stand point also. It doesn't sound like you have grounds for full custody, but with him only getting her every other weekend, it sounds as if you already have full custody. Have your wife speak to the ex also about having those type of conversations which confuse the little girl. As Jehova witnesses though, they are supposed to include their children in the spreading of the word, in most branches of them anyway.
2007-03-13 06:21:52 · answer #2 · answered by MrsJ S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think it is grounds for full custody but the Grandmother needs to know there are alot more religions than Jehovas Witness and even though I believe it is ok to try to steer someone in the right direction its a bit much to try to shove her religion on her...Good Luck.
2007-03-13 06:12:54 · answer #3 · answered by halfpint22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not grounds for full custody. We were told by an attorney that in order to obtain full custody you basically have to prove that the parent is a pimp to support his or her crack habit....it is that hard to get full custody. Most importantly, you and your wife do want her to see her family. Children are exposed to many different things, and are very naive. Simply explain to her that there are different religions/beliefs, just as there are different favorite colors or kinds of music. Take her to different churches and let her see that there are differences, but that all religions believe in some form of higher power. Depending on her age, she may ask a lot of questions or just a few. Be completely honest with her and explain to her that whatever she chooses to believe in is her preference and it should be accepted by everyone.
2007-03-13 06:11:04 · answer #4 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Similar experience, yes. Here is what you need to do. It will not be easy and it may offend your morality but it works. To shut up the other half you must become Jehovah's Witnesses. This will even the playing ground for the back bone of their argument. At home you will be praised allowing freedoms the extended family will not support (being that they are JHs).
2007-03-13 06:18:56 · answer #5 · answered by Ray2play 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though what the fathers biological family is doing is nothing less than outrageous. You asking to take away half of your step daughters family is also. You need to see what the custody agreement says about the religion upbringing. Her visitation schedule will have nothing to do with that.
2007-03-13 06:16:54 · answer #6 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For purely the justifications you indexed above, there are no grounds for complete custody. given which you're a girl, courts placed that exceptionally else because of the fact kinfolk courts are very sexist. so which you have thet going for you, in which you're a girl. Now, if he's able to look after the infants without them wanting to pass to daycare, he ought to maximum certainly use that during his prefer. seems such as you desire extra baby help. Petition the courtroom for extra $
2016-10-18 06:58:26 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, full custody is not awarded based on religious differences. Custody/visitation is based upon what is best for the child, not the adults around the child. Get over yourelves, right now she doesn't understand the differences in religion and talking to her till your blue in the face isn't going to work. Simply tell her that those are things her father's family believes in and leave it at that...as she gets older she will understand religion/philosphy better.
2007-03-13 07:07:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would push it...try it out. Let the bio-father know that if this continues to hurt her home life you will have no reason not to pursue full custody. Religion might be alittle touchy , but if she is young enough than it should go smooth, but if she is old enough to make her on decision than the judge will ask her and you might lose her forever.
2007-03-13 06:19:09 · answer #9 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe it is grounds for full custody, however you can try to modify the rules of custody since some of the things grandma is doing may be considered abusive.
Contact your attorney.
Good luck.
2007-03-13 06:13:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋