should i be worried????

Question

One night my husband and i decided to have a few drinks at home. When he drinks he likes to call everyone he knows, but anyway he happened to be on the phone with his mother. He tells his mom everything. Well i wanted to know what he was talking about so i pushed the speaker phone and this is what i heard... "mom" you should see these woman that come in here"( my husband is a warehouse manager and these woman that come in are represenitives for other companys) anyway he says how hot they are and he dosen't wear his wedding ring at work for two reasons 1. he dosen't want it to get smashed and the other reason is because these woman don't know he's married, and they flirt with him. All his mom said is don't you cheat. As soon as i heard that i went off on him. So we got in this huge argument and hes denying everything(of course) he's says he swears theres nothing to worry about!!! What do you think? Should i be worried?????

Answer 1

Drunk dialers are the worst! LOL...Seriously.....I would consider at this point some counseling for the two of you. He is feeling like something is missing and is needing the attention of these other women for some reason. I can be something as simple as the classic mid life crisis or not feeling like he gets enough attention and craves it elsewhere. I am not going to go all out and say he is cheating but if he isn't, Sweetie, he is in the early stages. You have to do something about this to save your marriage. Fighting with him over it won't do any good. It will only get worse. Call ahead of time for an appt and then just go pick him up the day of and let him know where you are going on the way. That way he cannot back out ;-) Good luck to you!

Answer 2

Keep your eyes and ears open> Take care of this right now and try to fix the problem before fire gets the entire house!
It's probably just the beginning so make sure you do some "treatment" to this "cancer "before it spreads out and "kills" your marriage!

I've been through this - i made one mistake that i ignored and guess what , i got into "Bigger issues ", i had to work even harder to save it! you should work SMARTER" !

Make your husband realise that marriage is a commitment and you can't serve the purpose if there's no Give and Take .The way he takes off his ring , can't deny the fact that he's married and committed to a woman who's sacrificing everything for him!he should respect you and think before doing any flirting - ask him how would he feel if you do the same thing ?- just make him imagine for 10 secs!
Ring should not be that big of a deal , we all should respect the relationship not just the metal which matters!
Best wishes,

Answer 3

Yes. If he is not wearing his wedding ring to attract other women. You need to stop arguing but tell him you are worried. Talking to him about stuff my help. I mean really talking to him without yelling. Tell him that you want to trust him, and after hearing that--it is hard to do. Everyone can be attracted to other people, but if they are married they do not act on it, or do things to try to attract other people--and that is the part you have a problem with. Try to be more sexual with him, to satisfy his needs so he doesn't have to go elsewhere. But the truth is that you sound like you are in your 20's and it sounds like your husband does not realize the seriousness of the commitment of marriage. If he does not realize this commitment, he will cheat, and then either you will leave him or he will be so sorry that you will forgive him. It will change your marriage forever, but he may grow up and learn what commitment is all about, or he will just be a cheater. I really do not advocate getting parents involved in a marriage, and it sounds like he should start talking to you more instead of his mother, but maybe you can tell her how you feel and maybe she can offer some advice--but generally I say a bond should be between husband and wife and not to bring the parents into it. A marriage retreat is always a good way to get closer to your partner, but if you are young you may have to go through some bad times before he grows up, and I'm not sure how you can grow up without learning life's lessons, but I'm sorry that it might be at your expense.

Answer 4

I’ll give you an answer based on the fact I am a guy: YES.

We guys can separate sex and love very well, almost no exceptions. And for what you said, that is proof that he can do it very well.

So the only thing needed here is some woman that wants to have more fun than just “flirting” with him, and he will go down with it. I bet you 1 against a million he will not stop there. Of course you have the benefit of the doubt, and innocent until proven otherwise, but still, you can not live your life wondering what b i t c h he is looking at today, right?

So, the answer is simple: you need to talk to him, and say come very important things:

Make sure to be in private and to have plenty of time to talk. Also make sure you both agree to talk and not to fight. It is very important, and must follow the rules.

First of all, apologized to him for listening to a private conversation, and swear to him it will never ever happen again.

Then, ask him to explain to you why he thinks he likes to flirt around. See what he has to say, and tell him if he is hesitating to tell you, that is ok, and that you just want to know what he thinks as you might be able to help too.

The idea is to play around with it too. You have to make him understand that he shouldn’t be doing that, but also that you can play alone with it a little bit so you two can have more sexual satisfaction. Maybe he likes to flirt around. So a little bit can be actually healthy, but as long he understands the limits, and if he gets very exited, he must stop, and in any case, run to you and have sex with you, not other women.

If both of you can come up with an agreement, things should be fine. You can also ask him if he thinks is ok for you to flirt around with your friends and/or coworkers. If he is ok with it, then it means he is more open minded than you, so you two need to find a “middle” point to balance the equation.

Of course, if he says he is not ok with it, or that “is not the same” then you have a problem of denial and a big issue in your relation that must be worked out.

I would suggest to ask him to wear his wedding band al the time, and if he is afraid to scratch it or bend it, then go out and buy him a cheap ring, and tell him to wear it while at work.

To give you an example, I wear mine all the time, but I do have other rings, and many times I work with my car with my friends, and what I do many times is put on any cheap one instead if I know there will be other girls there.

But believe me, having a ring sometimes can be actually worse. Many women actually find it sexually attractive, and many like actually to only flirt with married guys. I know it by experience. And yes, I do flirt around, and so my Wife, but we are ok with it and we know the limits. We do it for fun, and also when we go out clubbing sometimes. Is fun to see how women can be real sluts in those places and hit on marry guys even with the wife right on front... and don’t even mention the guys, we will hit on any woman even if the husband has a machine gun with him… LOL

Good luck.

Answer 5

Well, I would be mad! Not wearing his wedding ring??? Go out and buy him a titanium ring - we bought my husband's for $90 but there are less expensive ones out there. The metal can NOT be crushed or bent at all - and it weighs less than a small coin....if he STILL doesn't wear it, I think he's cheating on you anyway. You don't have to make physical contact for it to be cheating....and if he isn't being forthcoming with you and telling you that there are women at his work that flirt with him, there is a HUGE problem! Sorry, and good luck with that!

Answer 6

Be worried? he sounds like a child! That is way more information then my own 13 year old son tells me. Ya he sounds a little needy. I am starting to realize that women aren't the only ones who chit chat for hours on the phone. I'm not a phone person my self but I have seen guys do this. They are like needy women. Your husband loves the attention, as so many men/women do. The fact that he denied that conversation answers your question.

Answer 7

I think you should be more worried that he calls his mother and tells her things like that...how weird.

And yes, you should be worried. What kind of faithful & committed guy would not wear his wedding ring...and don't even buy the excuse that he only said that stuff because he was drunk. The truth often comes out when people have been drinking.

Answer 8

Hmmm, it depends. If it's harmless flirting and harmless looking, then No. If you think it may be something else, yes. I do think you invaded his privacy and flew off the handle. But I understand WHY. I would try to talk calmly with him about it and see if you can ascertain if you should be concerned.

Answer 9

I would be pissed at both of them...you husband needs to learn that he is married and nothing changes that...I would show up at his work one day to see if its true that he doesn't wear his ring..

Answer 10

i believe that if u dont have trust in ur relationship u have already lost. trust your man untill u have proof not to trust him. i would start getting worried when he start working late,not coming home and not callin to let u know he will be late.