okay now i was going with this girl for 3 years and she was pregnant when i met her, but the baby obviously wasnt mind. I was in the baby life for 2 years and me and my ex just broke up 2 months ago and i havent seen her since, but anyways what i im asking is if a child is 2 years old and he called me daddy will he still miss me and remember me in some kind a way because me and my ex are not going to get back together and we kinda ended on bad terms. So we are not speaking anymore and i told her not to call me anymore but to be honest with u i miss the baby and i look at him like a son, but i know life must go on and im sure i was put in there life for a reason. Im just wondering what would u do in this situation?
2007-03-13 05:18:57 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Call your ex and tell her that you would like to be involved in the child's life. Tell her exactly how you feel about the baby. Any GOOD mother would recognize that it's not who makes the child, but it's about who loves the child.
2007-03-13 05:23:29 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can understand what you are saying and I feel for you. But...the little boy is 2 and within a very short period he will have forgotten you. The thing is, you are not his biological father and you were not married to his mom making you the step-dad ~ so legally, I would doubt you could do anything. Emotionally, for the little boy's sake, I wouldn't continue to be a part of his life because when you meet someone else, marry and have a child of your own, I don't think your wife would be too pleased that you are seeing a child who is not even yours. You can't see him for a month or 6 months and then if your life changes stop seeing him~ that would be harder emotionally on the little boy. In the long run as he gets older and becomes more emotionally bonded to you the break would be then harder for him~ do it now while he is still young enough.
2007-03-13 12:50:38 · answer #2 · answered by 2179 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who primarily ended the relationship? If it was you, then maybe you could call her and tell her how much her son meant to you. Maybe you and she could still remain friends. Since it does appear that you are not interested in being romantically involved. At the age of the child, I doubt that he would remember you as he gets older. He prob would right now, but he will eventually forget you if you were to never come back. You do still have options. Maybe you could also talk to her and see how he is doing with the break up. At his age, I'm sure he misses you a lot, and might be acting out in your absence.
Good luck to you!! I hope it all works out
2007-03-13 12:30:38 · answer #3 · answered by fwog_fwog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some time to cool off and then go to her about the issue. I am sure the child is missing you just as much. Maybe you could drop off a stuffed animal by her house for the child.
By the way, the world needs more men like you.
2007-03-13 12:33:49 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the child never sees you again he will likely have no memory of you. At that age there is not much they remember, no matter how traumatic. Was your name put on the birth certificate? If so, you are legally the child's father and have visitation rights. You also have financial obligation as well. Tough situation for you, but it is unlikely that she will allow you visitation if you are not legally entitled. If it ended ugly, she will not give him birthday or holiday gifts, but likely will return them and pocket the money, so that would be futile. Life will go on - good luck.
2007-03-13 12:41:45 · answer #5 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's good that you were so close to the child. Maybe you should talk to your ex, so you're not on bad terms anymore. So you guys are friends. That was there's no tension in the air or household and you can still see the little boy.
2007-03-13 12:25:24 · answer #6 · answered by NamNam 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and tell her you want to at least see the baby...You know that you guys are on bad terms but you still love the baby no matter what..Even though your not the dad, you are the daddy, big difference.I would just let her know how much you love that little boy..
2007-03-13 12:45:15 · answer #7 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't remember...he is too young to even remember you if you leave now.
If you are not together with her, leave it at that, otherwise you might be sending the wrong signals and giving her false hope, therefore, confusing the child even more.
You are a sweet, considerate man. The world need more caring men like you.
Good luck
2007-03-13 12:25:56 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The child will probably be emotionally scarred for life.....
If you have any desire to see the child, file for visitation. If you can establish that you were a step-parent of sorts, then you might have a shot....
Otherwise, go to your ex.....and try to smooth things over for the sake of the child. If not get back together, then at least to be friends. She's going to need a babysitter from time to time, might as well be you.
2007-03-13 12:23:19 · answer #9 · answered by salemgirl1972 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
this is the truth. you should talk to your ex. tell her how you feel about the baby.
any guy can be a dad it takes someone special to be a daddy
2007-03-13 12:46:07 · answer #10 · answered by speed demon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋