Other than her two sisters, my wife has a close friend who, like her, is a middle-aged lady born in the Philippines but now a U.S. citizen. In my opinion, this woman is incredibly selfish and mean-spirited. She drove out her first husband because she was angry that he sent money to the Philippines to help two illegitimate children he had fathered by his family's helper (housekeeper) before he married her. When he moved out, she allowed another man into her house to live there and sleep with her even though she had a young son (the son of her and her former husband) in the house. Eventually, she kicked out the guy she had been shacking up with. She backbites and heaps scorn on all these men and just about everyone she knows. My wife is the only one who can stand her on a regular basis. Everyone else stops being friends with her after awhile. She helped us when my wife was in the hospital, and helped my sister-in-law find an apartment. But she is incredibly obnoxious.
2007-03-13 04:43:01 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Are you kidding? Everybody's definition of "mean-spirited" is different, as is each person's tolerance of this behavior. Sure, her friend may appear to be an obnoxious shrew to you, but your wife may not see her that way. This friend may be fulfilling a need of your wife's, such as a tie back to her homeland.
You need to let your wife make her own decisions about this friendship. Don't assume that she's blind to her bad behavior. Your best bet is just to be there as a compassionate sounding board when she gets frustrated with this friend. Make your companionship more appealing than hers.
2007-03-13 05:00:52 · answer #1 · answered by Zinnia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely not!! Let me explain, no matter how you feel about this woman you did say she is your wife's closest friend. If you expect your wife to just get rid of someone that means so much to her, she will most likely end up resenting you. Even if she sounds like shes OK with it, she will probably end up throwing back in your face any chance she gets. Ultimately this would do more harm than good for your marriage.
2007-03-13 04:50:42 · answer #2 · answered by musicfan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the part on the men, all i got to say on that part is, what a slut!!!!lol..but yeah i mean she did help your wife when she was in the hospital and your sister-in-law.you cant expect everyone you meet in this world to be perfect maybe being obnoxious is just how she is ans your just going to have to deal with it and even if you did tell your wife to end that friendship, do you think your problems will be over??i dont think so that lady will probably so mad she'll come after you guys..lol
2007-03-13 04:48:35 · answer #3 · answered by cathy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not pressure your wife to end her closest friendship with this friend of hers because you say when your wife was in the hospital that this friend of hers has helped your family. There are not that many friends who would do this.
2007-03-13 05:23:25 · answer #4 · answered by Heidi T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't want your wife to resent you. she will know when it's time to break off the friendship. has she done anything mean spirited to you and your wife? if not, just let it be and your wife will do the right thing if she feels the friend is not who she wants as a friend.
2007-03-13 04:50:37 · answer #5 · answered by lynnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't get to pick your wife's friends! If she is the only female friend she has besides her sisters, then you really can't expect her to end it. Plus- she is an adult, you can't tell her who to be friends with. If you don't like the back biter, then distance yourself from her! You don't have to have her to your house, or even go out with her. Tell your wife you dont' want her bad vibes to poison your home...
2007-03-13 04:55:51 · answer #6 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife's friend is not hurting you or your wife. Let your wife choose her own friends... she is not you, and everyone is different. Enjoy the variety your wife brings to your life instead of worrying about her friends.
2007-03-13 04:51:40 · answer #7 · answered by Jason 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's your place to pick your wife's friends. I understand how you feel about this person, and all you can do is hope your wife will see her true colors.
2007-03-13 04:47:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
nope
ok to discuss it with your wife, maybe help her explore how she feels about her relationship with that woman
its not your choice or decision who your wife wants as friends
if you don't like that woman, you don't have to visit her
my wife won't let my gay friend be in our apartment, even if she is at work, or my rasta friend either, I think thats being selfish
2007-03-13 04:48:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not pressure your wife to end this friendship. She can help this woman, regardless of her obnoxiousness.
2007-03-13 04:55:08 · answer #10 · answered by puppyraiser8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋