Would you tell somone you love them even...?

Question

if you once dated and are now just strictly friends. Would you tell thatt person you are in love with her, even if there is a good chance that the friendship/relationship could be ruined forever. I am in love with my ex girlfriend.. i mean head over heels, she is all i think about and i am afraid that if i tell her she will not feel the same and it will ruin our friendship. what should i do? Her family is in love with me as well and they all know that i would be perfect for her. I treat her like gold and I truely believe deep down that she is my soul mate. this is tearing me apart :(

she broke up with me.. due to "lack of spark"

Answer 1

oh, that is tough. Do you think the relationship is worth a second chance? Are you willing to go through the rejection of not only love but friendship as well just to know?
I say tell her, you will never know unless you try.

Answer 2

I would say not to tell her. If there was a mutual attraction towards a relationship and not a friendship, then the signs would have been there and your relationship would take the turns natural to it. I was friends with a guy for about 4 years and things were fine. I enjoyed our conversations, he knew very well that I was not interested in a relationship with anyone, one of the many subjects that friends cover through the course of years in a conversation. I didn't consider him on any different level than any of my other good friends that were male. Then he decided to tell me that he was in love with me and was sure I was his soul mate, that I just hadn't figured it out yet, and still needed time, he had thought about it for a long time and there was no other answer than that he was in love with me. I said no, there was not a way that would work. I was not attracted to him that way, never would be, he was my friend. He pressed me about it by continuing to tell me that he was sure of it, I just needed more time to "see" that it was so. We are still friends, but not quite the same as before. I'm not as personal with him as I am with my other friends, and there are times that he says things that I know he's still feeling that way, little inuendos, little things here and there. I've repeatedly said it will not happen, period. It is not a matter of time, it is not an enlightenment thing that has to happen, it's not anything he needs to change about what he does or doesn't do - it's just not there! I have been very tempted to just end the friendship completely, because things have changed. And if you and her were dating before, and it ended, then the spark is not there. I think for the most part people click into what type of relationship they are going to have. Ultimately, it is your decision, what you feel is right, what you think is best for your relationship with her. Just have to be prepared for the downside of what could happen. I still think that if the love was a mutual thing, it would have presented itself by now. Soul mates are born, not made. Best of luck.

Answer 3

Wow, I'm going through the same thing. I've finally decided a few months ago I needed to let him go b/c he has pined over his most recent ex for months even though we were together one night after their break up. He acted like he could eventually let her go and we could try again and I told him I'd wait. But it didn't happen that way. Him and her are hanging out alot still, don't know if they are back together. I haven't really spoken to him since December.
I just finally decided that if I didn't tell him how I felt then and how I feel still and how I will always feel, I'd always regret I didn't. So I wrote it in a blog that only he could see. He read it and I have gotten no response. I have already determined that it may ruin any friendship we do have....but I think his actions after that night pretty much ruined us as well. I just needed to tell him and I did.
So.....if you can't deal with the fact that you may not be friends anymore then I'd think it through more.
Good luck....I hope everything works out.

Answer 4

I think you should tell her how you feel.. I know it's hard because you don't want to rack the friendship that you guys have but sometimes the best things in life are the hardest things that we will ever do.
Especially if you think you guys are soul mates..

If you don't tell her you may end up regretting that you didn't, so you might as well just get it over with but just make sure that when you do.. just explain how you feel about the situation and just let her that your glad that your friends but your feelings are much more deeper than that.
I know this isnt the easiest thing to do but go for it if you really love this person.
Good Luck

Answer 5

Nah, I wouldn't tell her. Why ruin the friendship. You should gradually refocus that passion towards someone who will be able to reciprocate those feelings.

Otherwise, you will come off as some mentally ill freak show for attempting to sound expressive.

It's painful I know. I've been thru that before too. But it's best for your to redirect those feelings and passion into something that will make you a better person and that will give you insight into future relationships.

The first step is to let go of those feelings for her by truly being her friend. Until you've done that, you really have never even been her friend, but rather a fiend for her love, a love that she most likely does not feel for you anymore.

Answer 6

Lack of spark is a big thing. Your friendship is already ruined because you want more. Your friendship is a facade because you want more. You want to keep hanging around for more rejection and thats fine with most women because they like male friends....but if its not doing you any good....quit doing it.

Its pointless to watch When Harry Met Sally because youve HAD each other as gf/bf and she didnt feel it. Treating her like a god never works if the spark isnt there......Im sure her Dad, brothers, cousins treat her very well but she doesnt fancy them either.

Best bet? Move along.....if she has the chance to miss you properly or know you are out "doing" someone else....thats the only chance she'll get to feel butterflies or feel that spark she missed. You can give too much you know.....and she doesnt want it right now or ever again?

Her family doesnt have to have sex with you...so they dont count. Chemistry is a bugger, isnt it.

Answer 7

Always be honest.

If you love someone, let them know. If they don't feel the same way, at least you will know. It is better to chance ruining a friendship than never knowing if she loves you back.

Don't keep telling her or plead with her to love you if she doesn't feel the same way. Accept it and continue the friendship - if you really want the friendship even if she loves someone else.

You are not in love with your ex-girlfriend if she is not in love with you. You may still care for her and love her, but the love has to be mutual for you to truly be in love.

Some people communicate better on paper - depending on your situation, you may want to send her a written letter expressing your feelings. Or, write everything down that you want to say. Then, take her out... to dinner, a walk, somewhere private is good - and express your feelings.

Answer 8

Is it hurting you to be "friends"? If it is then risk telling her but be prepared for her to still not have "a spark" for you. Atleast then you can move on knowing that she knows how you feel and not wonder about "what if". It is amazing how fast you can fall out of love when the other person isn't in love with you.

Answer 9

Well you need to take a chance with this one. If you don't tell her you will be wondering for the rest of your life what could of been. If you don't mind that then by all means keep your feelings to yourself. If it would bother you than take a chance and tell her how you feel

Answer 10

properly... she's your female buddy, so one might think of that that's a threat which you like her. i do no longer think of there'll be any surprises there. do no longer hardship, relax, and tell her once you're arranged. you will understand while the time is physically powerful. that does no longer propose you heavily isn't worried although. that's completely organic to sense a sprint jittery once you first tell somebody the way you sense approximately them. enormously, once you're afraid of sounding too "corny". With all of that pronounced, if she feels remotely the way you do, she's probable hoping you will tell her the way you sense, so do no longer hardship.