my wife and I been separated for 3 months, and she is seeing another man, and she already slept with him , can I acuse her of adultery?, and have costudy of my son whom I keep 5 days and she only 2?
2007-03-13 04:25:37 · 26 answers · asked by Randy j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would gather the data, the facts. Start a journal of when you have your son, when she has him, etc.
Gather data on her adultery, who she is with, is he married, where he lives, works, etc.
Gather data of if she is taking the boy to her boyfriends house and co-habitating with him.
Once you have the facts, perhaps even evidence from a private eye, you have a decision make, file for divorce and an emergency custody order or not.
If you are the primary parent and 5 out of 7 days looks like you are the principle custodial parent, then you can seek to have this sanctioned by the court with a temporary custody order.
You can also file for child support. If you are the custodial parent, then she has to contribute the financial support of the child. Research your states custody laws, look at old tax returns and ask for what your state suggests as child support. Make sure it's garnished from her wages.
Finally, your choice regarding how to file for divorce is up to you. If your state has for fault divorce, you can choose this. However, many/most states have no-fault divorce and her adultery is not really a matter the court is interested in, not even for custody.
However, since she has been away for three months, you have already established presidence and that is good for you and your son.
I'm sorry you are experiencing this drama in your life. It may not seem like it now, but it does get better.
2007-03-13 04:42:05 · answer #1 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can accuse her of adultery. As long as a person is married it is adultery to sleep with someone other than their spouse. In most states it is a minor misdemeanor still on the books but no prosecutor would file a case against her for it. But, yes, she still committed adultery. There's just no penalty for it anymore.
As far as divorce issues - adultery is not a reason for divorce and so has no impact as divorces are all no fault.
As for your son, be thankful you see him 5 days a week. You will probably be granted joint custody and one parent will become the custodial parent - if you two cannot decide this the court will. During this difficult time remember that your son is the innocent party and should not have to suffer for you and your spouse's bad choices. He also shouldn't be made to feel that he has to love one over the other nor should statements such as "your mom's a whore" be said to him. Do not EVER downgrade his mother in his presence and hopefully your wife will also follow that. Those who do not are selfish and are not thinking of their child at all although they like to think otherwise and justify their terrible behavior by saying dumb stuff like, "well, we're divorced because your mom left." True or not, it's not the kid's problem nor should it be.
2007-03-13 11:37:49 · answer #2 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope you can't accuse her of adultery because it is no longer viable in court. The court will decide what will be best for your son, at his age do not be surprised if your wife gets custody and you get visitation. If you have already agreed that you will get your son 5 days then all the two of you have to do is have that set up in the divorce agreement there will be no need for it to be "heard" in court. I do however suggest that if you have him for 5 days a week that you also seek child support...
2007-03-13 11:31:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you two still legally married? Sounds like you are on a good track already with having custody of your son if your keeping him 5 days. What I would do is just keep a journal of everything that involves your son and wife. Make sure you write down dates, times etc. Then get a lawyer and explain to him you want the custody of your kid, I know from experience that it's really hard to get sole custody of a child as you basically have to prove the mother completely unfit. I have joint custody with my ex/gf with me having physical custody, she gets my daughter every other weekend and that's it. One word of advice, try to get along with the ex when it concerns the kid, you may not like what she says/does, but don't vocalize it infront of your child.
2007-03-13 11:33:04 · answer #4 · answered by 7S282 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have your son 5 days a week...you are THE primary care-giver. You have a very good chance of getting custody. Adultery doesn't mean a thing in court...odds are you won't even be allowed to bring it up. It is a non-issue.
2007-03-13 11:32:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adultery doesn't matter, because morals are no longer an issue when it comes to divorce or child custody. My advice would be to file for temporary custody of your child while he is in your custody, serve her with the papers and then file for full custody of the child because unfortunately possession is 9/10s of the law even when it comes to custody, meaning usually whoever has the child and files for custody first, usually gets primary custody.
2007-03-13 11:41:44 · answer #6 · answered by mark my words 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you separated because your getting a divorce or because your trying to work things out? If your getting a divorce, then don't worry about it as long as you both share custody. If your trying to work things out, then I'd say it isn't working so well. Don't drag the children into a long custody battle as long as you have joint custody that's the best you can do in this situation.
2007-03-13 13:08:34 · answer #7 · answered by jason t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why put a label on it, if she doesn't want the boy, you don't have to worry about it. Sounds like mom is sewing wild oats. Wait a while, when she gets sicks of balling this other guy, she'll be around more, then you can get a break for yourself. In thte meantime, get those papers ready for Divorce.
2007-03-13 11:30:12 · answer #8 · answered by kikumatsu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are separated for 3 months and she is seeing someone else, that is not adultery, that is getting on with her life. as for your son, if you have him 5 days i say you will get custody,but it depends on the laws in your state. they will probably give joint custody with you as the primary caregiver. it is great to see a father involved with his child. keep up the good work.
2007-03-13 11:33:55 · answer #9 · answered by lynnie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would you want another women who has slept with someone else already, she sure isn't worrying about you so get on with your life and enjoy your time with your son if she is only having him two day's a week leave her be she is not doing you any harm and she still need to see her boy and its not hurting him she has needs and is full filling them get on with your own life, sounds to me like someone is a little jealous if you ask me
2007-03-13 11:32:52 · answer #10 · answered by yah yah sisterhood 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋