My husband is not affectionate towards me at all, whenever I try to kiss him he pushes me off and if I try to hug him he pushes me off....(I know he isn't cheating on me)....but why doesn't he want me to show affection to him? Even when I try to hold his hand we will for a few seconds and then quit? We don't hold each other in bed....and sex is scarce....it's pretty much when I gester or say it...any ideas?
2007-03-13 04:07:37 · 18 answers · asked by atchisons2006 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To the one who said I'm not good in bed you're right...I'm GREAT in bed...trust that ;)
2007-03-13 04:32:06 · update #1
as a man i can tell you i went through the same thing, he will change back, trust me
2007-03-13 04:15:49 · answer #1 · answered by bluelitttt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old you are. Is he on any medications. Some meds affect how people are feeling. Also, are you a smoker and he's not? I had been with a smoker and wasn't crazy about being super close because of the smell. It could be a number of easy-to-fix reasons. Just look in to it and see what could be an issue. I would also ask him what is the matter. When I am stressing, I don't want affection from my hubby, so mabe yours is going through some rough times at work or mabe he is hiding something. Good luck.
2007-03-13 11:17:53 · answer #2 · answered by onecharliecat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure that you know for sure that he is not cheating....does not have to be in the physical sense....he may be chatting on line with someone....emailing, calling.....in other words he may be having an emotional affair. If this still shows that he is not.....he may be having that ED, You know the one where all the men get the little blue Pill to make hit harder...lol.....he may not want to admit to it......he could be depressed. You need to talk, and if he is not willing....then I have no idea what to tell you....then only way you can fix it is by communication. I wish you luck......but don't go out and have an affair..just because the sex life does not exist....give it some time to find out what is wrong.
2007-03-13 11:28:29 · answer #3 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just aren't affectionate. Was he always like this? That's really what you need to look at. If in the past he was really affectionate and now isn't then that shows a definite problem. If he was always like this before you were married then don't worry about it. That's just his personality.
2007-03-13 11:12:52 · answer #4 · answered by Kimmy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex-husband was never affectionate and I could never figure out why. Years and years into the relationship I found out that he had been cheating on me since virtually the first weeks of our marriage. He was just a serial cheat, sleeping with any woman who would have him. You can imagine my feelings then, but at least I knew why he was never affectionate - GUILT!!!!
2007-03-13 11:36:06 · answer #5 · answered by Dovie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends how often he refuses your request. If it is occasionally let it go do not make big fuss about it. If it happens most of the time I think that you are describing a conditions known as Inhibited sexual desire (ISD). The person with ISD fails to initiate or respond to their partner's desire for sexual activity.
ISD is a very common sexual disorder. The most common cause of ISD seems to be relationship problems wherein one partner does not feel emotionally intimate or close to their mate.
Communication problems, health problems such as depression, insomnia, excessive stress.
Treatment is required by the professional therapist and it depends on the eliminating causes listed above.
2007-03-13 11:22:38 · answer #6 · answered by bibus75 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance is not very affectionate, physically but he does a lot of other things to show he cares (washing my car, e-mailing and texting me daily). I just think it's the way he was raised. My family is the very huggy, kissy type but I don't think his was. Sometimes it bothers me but I know if there is a problem, it's with him and not me. His ex wife was also very verbally abusive and controlling so I think he may still be reserved with his emotions as a result.
2007-03-13 13:26:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would seriously sit him down and have a talk. If he pushes you away every time you make an effort to get close, something's wrong. You honesstly don't deserve that kind of treatment, and you have a right to know what his deal is. If he gives you excues or the run around, it's time maybe to think of moving on. It doesn't sound like your marriage is very healthy.
2007-03-13 11:14:37 · answer #8 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is cheating on you when men cheat this is a sign that they are giving all there attention to someone else and they react like this by pushing the one that is married to him out of his life.Seperate from him and see what happens you will see he has someone else on the side.
2007-03-13 11:15:45 · answer #9 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I am wondering if he is resentful or angry about something. He won't tell you, but the fact that he doesn't want to be touched by you or have sex sounds like he has distanced himself for some reason. Can you remember something that happened that would cause him to act this way? Is there a reason he could be angry with you? Have you talked to him about this?
2007-03-13 11:39:06 · answer #10 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think he isn't cheating?
He is very angry and resentful towards you.
You are leaving out the real problems in your question.
His behavior is how one acts at the very last days of a failed relationship.
2007-03-13 11:13:20 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋