Help! Horrified that labor, delivery, and postpartum will be as bad as it was with my first eight years ago?

Question

With my son, I had a 37 hour labor with 8 hours of pushing before they used the forceps to deliver my son. I had to have a blood transfusion, and was in the hospital for almost a week. We both almost died. My doctor assured me that it was just a complication, and that it could happen to anyone. Well, the postpartum was terrible, and I had about three weeks of horrible anxiety and depression, not to mention on-and-off bouts of both for the past few years.

So, you can understand why it took 8 years for me to decide to do it again.

This time, there have been no complications so far (almost 30 weeks and counting), with an exception of a really fast heartbeat. My doc doesn't seem too concerned.

Now that it's getting closer to D-Day, I'm worried that this time something really bad is going to happen, or that I'm going to go crazy during postpartum. Did anyone else have these fears, and if so, what was your experience? How did you keep from freaking out?

Answer 1

I can relate, I was in labor with my son for 44 hours and had to have an emergency c-section. After that I had nightmares, flashbacks, and horrible depression & anxiety. When I got pregnant with my daughter a year later, I had terible panic attacks because I was also afraid that it would happen again. I totally understand how you are feeling. I went to counseling and went on medication while I was still pregnant as a preventative measure. My daughter's birth was a breeze and nothing like my first. But I did still have some depression. It's been 5 years since my daughter was born and with spiritual guidence, inner strength, cogitive behavioral therapy, medication, and support from my family, I made it through. I still have bouts of depression myself once in a while, but I recall what I learned from therapy and it helps. You sound like an incredibly strong woman and, I believe you will make it too!! You are not alone, and you will be ok!! I would encourage you to talk to someone about what you are feeling. Keeping it inside with only make your anxiety worse. Talking through it really helps. Sending peace and positive thoughts your way...

Answer 2

Granted, I didn't have a life threatening situation like you did, but I did have a really long labor with my first. (36 hours at home, then another 12 at the hospital.) My second came in 3 hours with 2 pushes. I think that once you have one, your body is better equipped to have another one. Our hips are wider the second time around. Also, after having complications last time, they will be more equipped to help you the second time to avoid any life threatening problems. Don't stress, you and your baby will be fine. Good luck!!

Answer 3

It's easy for people to tell you not to worry, but I understand that the actual fear is hard to get rid of.

But as a mother of three, let me reassure you that EVERY PREGNANCY IS SO DIFFERENT!! I have heard that to keep your labor short and sweet it is good to lightly exercise (like take a 30 min. walk everyday), but with one child you probably can't stay still too long anyways, right? :) Try to sit down with calming music and lavender scented candle or something, close your eyes and picture yourself having an easy labor. mental picture is very important! If you're religious, it also helps to pray! If not, think of happy faces, especially during the labor. It helps to not concentrate so much on the pain!

Best wishes!