The man I've been with for 10 years has just recently started saying things like I'm not ready to be a dad" and that we "ruined his hopes and dreams" and "he's moving out" which he hasn't done but he keeps saying it all the time I'm 32 weeks pregnant with our 4th child and have never heard him say this I'm so stressed out now and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells because I don't want to upset him I make sure the house is perfect and dinner is made and I get the kids to sleep at 9p.m. and it's never good enough he told me yesterday that he was going to kill hisself in front of the kids and tell them it was my fault so they'd hate me I am always trying to keep things peaceful and I try to always do right why is he so mean all of a sudden.
2007-03-13 03:55:40 · 14 answers · asked by fluttergirl2004 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not that I haven't tried birth control I have an illness and there really isn't birth control out there for me and I've just signed the papers to get my tubes tied for the second time and like the first time the docs are uncertain if they'll be able to do it it is him that refuses any kind of birthcontrol.
2007-03-13 04:10:05 · update #1
He is probably starting to worry if he will be able to support your family. I would defintely say that he needs therapy. Perhaps he is just nervous about another baby. Hopefully this will pass, but if not I suggest finding a way out of all that stress.
2007-03-13 04:16:20 · answer #1 · answered by Nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 22 a man isn't fully grown up. He's has been with you for 10 years and the babies keep coming. He has now realized that he has missed out a some life experiences that would have made him a different man.
With all of the babies coming so fast he has had to put off his dreams to take care of a family that he wasn't ready for
At 32 he is going through a mid life crisis. I suggest you two work this out with counseling and get on some type of birth control
2007-03-13 11:04:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his behavior is all of a sudden then I would suggest that he see a psychiatrist to rule out some type of mental illness. Mental illnesses can come on at any time in life for a reason or for no apparent reason. It could be depression.
You don't say you are married. I hope you are as having kids outside of marriage is not in the best interest of the children. If he hasn't married you then his lack of wanting to commit and be a dad has been evident for years. Think about it.
2007-03-13 11:01:07 · answer #3 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it financial problems, job, etc. Is he looking at his life now and blaming you it did not go in a different direction? Only he can give you the real reason. I would not be walking on egg shells I would do nothing for him. Worry about yourself you are 32 weeks pregnant he should be doing for you. Tell him make a decision be a husband and father or be an x husband and father however either way the abuse needs to stop. The more you take the further the abuse will go.
2007-03-13 11:06:10 · answer #4 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs some serious professional help! At 32 weeks, you should not have that much stress put upon you. It isn't healthy for you or your baby. Tell him if he isn't ready to be a dad and wants to leave, then do so. You sound like you have it under control.....collect the child support and raise your kids in a stable environment. When he is ready and stable, tell him is welcome to return but as a mother your children's welfare is priority. Good luck.
2007-03-13 11:00:36 · answer #5 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. It sounds like he needs help. If he's told you he wants to committ suicide, that's a warning sign right there; even threatning to do it in front of the kids is just as bad. You haven't done anything wrong, and I would seriously stop walking on eggshells around him. He's going to do whatever he wants regardless of your efforts. Tell him it's time to get help and figure out what's wrong; or you may need to make the move to move on. Best wishes!!
2007-03-13 11:06:25 · answer #6 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a mid-life crisis to me. I feel for you! So, you guys are on your 4th child and now he is saying he's not ready to be a dad? That's really bizarre behavior. Sounds like he is feeling out-of-control and damn near crazy. Maybe you should stop walking on eggshells and tell him if he feels he needs to leave, then there's the door. I would not tolerate or nurse his behavior, it is terribly unhealthy.
Best of luck to you and I hope this situation improves for you and your kids!
2007-03-13 11:10:13 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is going on with your man? Is he also the father of the other 3 children? Personally I would contact a family member (brother,sister whomever he is closest to) and explain his recent proclamation that he was going to kill himself in front of the kids. He has something deep rooted going on and you need to get him to talk to you. Is it the new baby? Does he feel trapped? Explain to him that you would never want him to feel trapped in this relationship or commit suicide and that if he will be happier without you and the kids in your lives than PLEASE GO, encourage him (be strong) to leave. Tell him that you and your kids will work it out. Is he happy when he interacts with you and the children? I hope you are able to do something, you and your children should not have to be subjected to this behavior. Please take care of yourself and your children. Good luck sweetie, blessings on you and yours.
2007-03-13 11:05:56 · answer #8 · answered by sunset 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possiblilites are stress, midlife crisis, depression, bipolar, or the worst which is he is having an affair. How he is acting and what he is saying is very selfish especially since you are pregnant. I hope you can find out what the reason for this is and get the help you both need for it. Goodluck.
2007-03-13 17:48:10 · answer #9 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is going to take his family to help you. Your husband needs help....if he is threatening to do harm to himself he need to see a professional. You need to tell his family what is going on and that you love him and fear that he is going to hurt himself and the family. Your husband may be having stress at work that he can no longer continue to handle...he sounds depressed and needs help now....but with him being so angry, it is going to be really hard to get him the help he needs.....at 32 weeks I hate to say this....but for your safety,as well as your children's you may need to move out, until he is better. I wish you all the best, I would also suggest that you seek counseling too. to have to hear all that, you need someone to talk to as well.
2007-03-13 11:14:37 · answer #10 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋