How do we convince a 16 year old girl not to get pregnant?

Question

I work in a housing association for young people who have been kicked out of home or taken out of care. One girl I am helping is having sex with her B friend without any form of contreception. I have spoken to her about this, and she is fully aware of the risk she is undertaking. I cant help feeling that its a sad state of affairs when unhappy pe

She says she does not want to get pregnent but if she did she will keep the baby.All her actions scream out that she wants a baby. Intutivly I feel she wants a baby because it seems easier for her to look after a baby then to look after herself.
I really care about this girl and want her to know that she can do so much before she decides to have babys. I know she wants somthing for unconditional love - but I really feel she is avoiding being realistic about the unevitble.
She is not in a stable relationship and i dont think she has any idea how difficult it is to bring up children. Or should I just allow her to make her own choices?

Answer 1

How is she going to take care of a child when she can't even take care of herself? How is she going to raise a child when she cannot even afford a 75 cent condom? Maybe you should just not bother, let her learn on her own.
Teenagers think they know everything and sometimes they make their ownselfs learn the hard way so if she is so dead set against birth control then let her get pregnant but let her know she will be on her own. It isnt anyone elses place to take care of her mess if she decides to create one.

Answer 2

You deserve an award for your caring and concern! What a difficult problem...16 year olds think they know everything and can handle anything that comes at them. I agree with your analysis that she is looking for unconditional love. Poor girl...she hasn't had much of it, has she?

Having other single mothers talk to her, placing her as a volunteer in a maternity ward or daycare center are all good ideas and might give her a clue. Is she still in school? How about encouraging some home economics/child development electives? She is going to make her own choices (and mistakes) in any case. There is only so much we adults can do to guide teenagers along the safest path.

Answer 3

This is something that I feel so strongly about! I'm so glad that you have the love in your heart to try and help this young girl!

If you know one, find a teenage mom for her to talk to. Someone with recent firsthand experience that can really break it down to her about how hard it really is. I am a married woman in my 30's with a wonderful supportive husband, and we are financially stable, and being a mom is STILL the hardest job in the world!
I am sooooo glad that I waited til I was 26 to have my first. I had so much fun in college and after wards, just living, and working, and having no one but myself to look after. I MADE damn sure that I didn't have children until I was READY, and even then, sometimes I felt that I was too young. There are so many things that you can say to this young girl. Print some facts and statistics out for her to read. You CAN make a difference in this girls life, and hopefully have some part in keeping her a little girl for as long as possible! GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Answer 4

Its common for girls in those situations to want a baby for that unconditional love, in that they haven 't gotten it from anyone else in their lives. See if you can find other girls close to her age who have become young mothers to talk to her about their experiences and their struggles. If possible -- have her shadow them and spend a few days seeing how difficult it really is. Ask her about her goals -- can she see herself getting out of her current situation? How does she see her life going? See if you can show her how having a baby now could change all of that. Wouldn't she want better for her baby? Talk about money and all of the expenses involved in child care. How will she work while trying to provide for an infant? Go to school? Who will watch the baby? How will she pay for everything? Sit down with her and do a budget of what she would need. Figure in any public assistance that she may be eligible for and see how much that often doesn't cover. FInally, empower her to be the one who changes this cycle so that, one day when she does have a baby, that baby will grow up with the opportunities and resources that this young girl hasn't had access to.

Answer 5

Can you set up some sort of "dry run" for her, such as having to take care of children for no pay? Or maybe get one of those dolls that has the internal chip that makes them act like a baby? I would say this girl needs a wake-up call that having a baby at 16, while still a child who is completely focused on herself, would be very hard. Tell her that once she has a baby, she is going to lose the option of running around and having fun with her friends because her life is going to revolve completely around someone little who is totally dependent on her.

Answer 6

My understanding is that a lot of that sort of thing comes from a 'my life isn't very good, to the point where any change would be good -- and a baby is a big change' idea, and -- related -- a lack of hope for the future.

Can you point out some likely college scholarships, enticing future career paths, etc?

When I was a kid, my big puzzle over my future was 'But am I going to be an English prof, or a history prof?' Having that sort of thing in mind makes one do an excellent job with birth control.

Answer 7

Give her a reality check- Take her to the 21 year old single mothers house in the project, welfare, drive-by, bugs, and lack of comfort items. Let her know that you are worried about her but more worried about a baby they may have to suffer because of unwillingness to be cautious. if at all possible find someone who would be willing to help influence the girls decision( a good role-model per-say) because some people just made that wrong choice that influences their whole life and would really be Happy to help another not to have to got through their struggles.

Answer 8

Y'all shouldn't bounce in this guy or woman asking suggestion--that's what this dialogue board is for. the girl is in a bad concern, she's sixteen and pregnant--and he or she asked for suggestion--so she made it her buddy's enterprise! in case you ask for suggestion--you would be able to desire to have the skill to guard what you will hear. She has countless concepts. a million. save the toddler. 2. supply the toddler up. 3. Abort the toddler. a real buddy will element out the concepts and the countless consequences for each concern per what they recognize... a million. She can't guard herself and he or she can't rely on the cheating father to guard her the two. Her mothers and fathers are unable to guard the toddler the two in the event that they are on welfare. If she keeps the toddler she would be able to could desire to furnish for it--welfare is meant to help as a non everlasting fix once you haven't any longer have been given a job, to no longer strengthen a new child for 18 years on it. 2. If she acknowledges that she isn't in a good concern--she could desire to bless yet another kinfolk that quite needs to love and carry a new child. it may desire to be an open adoption the place she may well be somewhat of the youngster's existence. I even have acquaintances that observed a toddler from a mom who replaced into 18 (she already had one new child while she replaced into sixteen). She stated it replaced into the perfect ingredient for her toddler, to be in a sturdy abode with the two mothers and fathers. She made a sacrifice to furnish her a new child a greater effective destiny--that replaced into so difficult for her yet quite considerate for her youngster's sake. 3. i've got not got faith abortion is a controversy right here. i recognize that's puzzling concern--i replaced right into a unmarried mom of a daughter at 20 (I had a job and reward) later I have been given married at 29, then had 2 greater infants--an intact kinfolk has been an entire blessing. inspire your buddy to evaluate adoption--bypass to an enterprise, study it on the cyber web or interview human beings you recognize who've observed infants. good success in encouraging your buddy to think of of her new child first.

Answer 9

Find a way for her to spend time with a real infant. She has to do all the care for a week. Buy diapers fourmula everything maby the expence of it all will knock some reality in her head. Also find some single young mothers for her to talk with.

Answer 10

You said it. She is in need of true love and seeking a sense of self value. The life of a teen is complicated enough without having the stress of a group home. I would introduce her to Jesus. If I was not capable of doing this, I would find someone who can properly explain the need and value of a quality relationship with Jesus can do.