I have been with my fiance just over a year, and my daughter is 3 and shes from a previous relationship.
Well my problem is that I think he yells at her way too much and is unfair in his punishment towards her. He always acts aggravated with her, never calm or understanding.
He actually told my daughter *keep in mind shes 3!!* that since she didnt listen to him then he wasnt going to listen to her... So yesterday he yelled in her face about sitting on his lap, and I calmly asked him not to yell at her... And he went OFF. He was yelling in both our faces, in my ear etc. He called me a variety of names while doing this so I decided to leave.
Well, Im 5 months pregnant with his child.... Im at a loss for a solution because I dont understand where this behavior came from. He NEVER used to act like this. He was so great and caring and gentle with my daughter at first, and with his nieces hes was same way. WHY is he acting so irrational?? We WERE so happy, excited to be having a baby...
2007-03-13 03:40:43 · 12 answers · asked by jessica 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No he isn't on medication, but he has never acted this way before. And he was so excited about having a baby.. I do agree with the abuse part though, its not right and thats why I left.
2007-03-13 03:54:14 · update #1
Not just the new mom is entitled to hormonal changes and nerves. Even though you both thought you were excited to be expecting a new child, maybe he unconsciously is experiencing some anxiety about it. Talk to him. Discuss appropriate discipline for your daughter together and try to stick to the rules and discipline together. Couples counseling could definitely help. Even a local church pastor could provide you with some counseling. If he doesn't seem willing to do anything about his actions I would definitely reconsider continuing the relationship. You don't want your daughter to grow up feeling as if your boyfriend doesn't love her (and if he is treating her this way now, how will he treat her when he has his own - will there be a huge discrepancy - which would only serve to hurt your daughter more). If you have health insurance you can call your provider and ask for a referral to a reputable counselor. You can also contact your local health department and ask for a mental health referral (marriage and couples counseling fall under mental health division). Good luck to you and God Bless.
2007-03-13 03:54:04 · answer #1 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to counseling together. If he refuses, take your daughter and leave. Her entire mental and emotional future is riding on this. A baby girl at the tender age of 3 needs love and understanding. His behavior is a form of abuse, and can result in your daughter never having a healthy relationship with a man when she matures. You need to practice birth control and ALWAYS put the welfare of your children FIRST.
2007-03-13 10:48:13 · answer #2 · answered by tandkalexander 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your excitement is one sided. I bet if you said you were considering giving your daughter to her father, he would agree with the idea, and if you took a step farther by "considering it" he would be nice and caring, The problem sounds like because he has his own coming, he wants her outta the way.
I would boot his *** out or leave. I would tell you to try to talk to him but if he's getting that close to you when he's yelling, you may not want to see the next step for him.
I get the feeling he's escalating in his response to your daughter. I would never leave them alone together.
Get your self together, for your children's sake, your daughter has seen and heard enough, and yes they do remember, my oldest son remembers things from 3-4 yo. when his mother and I were together, and there not fond memories either, and both my sons live with me and are now 16, and17yo.
In the last 12 yrs.my sons have never seen us fight
Hope this helps
2007-03-13 11:00:08 · answer #3 · answered by walker9842 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is why we have marriage.... You are doing things backwards and it just doesn't work that way. Your boyfriend is probably stressing on all the new responsibility. I wouldn't stick around for this abuse, especially with a child. With the next guy try not to have a baby before you are married. It's the kids who really suffer.
2007-03-13 10:46:40 · answer #4 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its sounds like he needs some professional help. Have you ever talked to him about going to counseling for his anger? You dont need to be in an unhealthy relationship especially with a 3 yr old. I would leave and give him an opportunity to get some help. You child does not deserve to be treated like that, and neither do you.
2007-03-13 10:44:48 · answer #5 · answered by mikentammy76 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave. No child needs to be treat like that. I is better for a child to be from a broken home, then to live in a broken home.
2007-03-13 10:44:08 · answer #6 · answered by kingsgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possibly he is stressed out, possibly it took a while for his true colors to show, possibly he is jealous of your little girl... BUT, it's no excuse. I am glad to hear that you stood up for your daughter and left the home! That's a difficult situation and I feel for you, hopefully he comes to his senses!
2007-03-13 10:51:57 · answer #7 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he needs help and things are only going to get worse if you stay. if he agrees to get help then it might work out but if he denies that he has a problem you will save yourself ALOT of heartache if you leave. he doesnt handle anger very well and your kids will get really messed up if they grow up like this.......im sorry this is happening! i have a 15 year old son and his father is just like that (we are not together) it is basically the only stress in my life is dealing with him. but he doesnt think he has a problem, he is just a bully at heart.
2007-03-13 10:47:28 · answer #8 · answered by klausier 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You owe it to your child to protect her from any and all abuse. If he treats her like this, he will treat his own the same. You may end up being abused. And loosing both your kids. Let the jerk go forever.
2007-03-13 11:00:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be glad that u did not marry this man...consider yourself lucky u found about the real him now....
In the future, you may wish to consider marriage prior to having children...only a thought--but it does make life a bit easier for the children and then of course, they get to keep daddy's name and not be considered a "child out of wedlock" to put it nicely
2007-03-13 10:58:14 · answer #10 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋