My husband was married for 2-1/2 years to his first wife has been divorced for 15 years. We've been married for 13 years. His ex-wife and mother have maintained a good relationship during this time. (My mother-in-law has always told anyone who will listen that she likes the 'first wife' better.) The ex is having a surprise 70th birthday party for my mother-in-law. My husbands entire family is invited and several family members are coming from out of town. I REALLY don't want to go to this party. My mother-in-law has made no secret of her dislike for me through the years. The fact that this party is at the ex's house is inappropriate and will be incredibly uncomfortable. I don't want to be immature, but I have no desire to spend an afternoon there. I'm also hurt that no one in our family recognized how akward this will be. Would it be wrong if I don't go? Any thoughts on how I should handle this?
2007-03-13 03:27:11 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your husband is going you need to go, for him. Plus don't let those two women shove you out of the family. Go with your head held high and a smile on your face. Talk to the other family members and avoid those two as much as possible. You really need to go though. Good luck...
2007-03-13 03:39:45 · answer #1 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Handle it with sensitivity despite the fact that you have been treated so poorly by your mother-in-law, who seems content to live vicariously through your husband's past. I think that all you have to do is explain this to your husband and how uncomfortable it is for you. You owe no explanation to either women. I would suggest sending perhaps some type of gift with him; something simple, maybe food as to politely bow out. If your husband can't understand why this would be uncomfortable for you then that is too bad. Good luck.
2007-03-13 03:33:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Mom is in the same type of situation. This has been going on for over 15 years.
Anyways, I suggest you go. Don't let the X or the MIL keep you from enjoying yourself with other more respectful family members.
2007-03-13 03:36:06 · answer #3 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go, smile the whole time, take a nice present, wear a knockout outfit and have your husband nearby fawning over you :) Plan on going to dinner with him afterwards :)
After all you are HIS WIFE and she is just an ex of his grasping - obviously. The two of them have gotten no where as far as your husbands concerned! He is married to you and I would be proud of it. I am sure your husband would be impressed and it shows how confident you are.
Just think how shocked they would be and that will make you smile. It is just one afternoon.
Take Care :)
2007-03-13 03:49:22 · answer #4 · answered by Ann 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't go, it is very inappropriate and your husband should not go also; he should speak up on your behalf and tell your mother that he finds it very offensive that she is conducting herself in this way, you should send a birthday card via mail or drop the gift and the card over at the mother-in-laws home and tell her that your husband and yourself will not be attending under the circumstances.
2007-03-13 04:02:38 · answer #5 · answered by Mary O 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Go! Don't let them stop you from being with your husband. Who cares what his mom has to say! You should be happy because you're the one he chose. No matter what they say, be yourself. God is the only person who can judge you. If i were you, i would be looking good as ever! Give them a reason to be mad at you. Don't let them get to you because despite what they see in you, there is something you're doing right!
2007-03-13 03:33:21 · answer #6 · answered by $Bl@Ck BuTtAfLy$ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should go with your husband and as hard as it may be at least act like you are having a good time. maybe talk to your husband and let him know how uncomfortable it may be for you so have a time lined up for you both to leave. your husband I hope should stick up for you to his mother and shame on her for making you feel this way.
2007-03-13 03:34:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anne D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does ur husband feel about you not going? Maybe you should be there just for him. I'm sure you can get through just one afternoon. So that you don't cause probs for your husband.
2007-03-13 03:30:58 · answer #8 · answered by kingsgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
suck it up....go...have a smile on your face at all times and just relax and enjoy....don't let anyone get to u...so what if the mil likes wife #1 better...so freaking what
2007-03-13 03:31:02 · answer #9 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cowboy-up.
2007-03-13 05:52:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋