Relationship Help!!!?

Question

I am currently in a relationship where the guy is totally controling. He says that he loves me but wants to keep me away from my family and wants to tell me everything to do. We are married and he says that we are not equal. I work two jobs, just graduated from college and 7 months pregnant and pay all the house hold bills. Everytime that we get into an argument he tells me that I am talking back and giving him lip. He wishes that I could go out on a date with another guy and so that I can see how fast they would leave me. He feels that I bring nothing to the table. As far as the grenacy he tells me that I am lazy and all I want to do is sleep. He gets upset when I don't want to be touched or don't want to have sex with him. He say that he is tired of me and he hate the fact that I am pregnant. I told him that I will leave and he says that he don't want me and his child out in the streets. He says that I don't have anywhere to go. I have family here that wants me to come home and I mak

Answer 1

First, of all we must get or try to get to know a person before we have a relationship. Sometimes, when u meet someone that is not the real person (attitude) and as years pass you get to know them. ok, i know you probably don't want to leave this man you probably have numerous of reasons but, you have go to look @ control once a person get in your head it is very hard to get them out you start doing the things he likes and want you to do it never what you what to do and then you r making him happy not yourself. The man is the head of the house but not to control you. I f he don't care for your family he need to not be around them, not only that you knew your people before him and mostly our family will be there for us through thick and thin. Some people don't know what love is.......Love is not controlling someones life, love is not keeping u from your people unless, they r hurting you. You r pregnant that is i heard one of the most life loving xperience, i never had any children. talking back to him you have a right to express yourself. keep talking eventually u will get tired of expressing yourself to him especially when u can't get your point across. What i had to learned is that it is not about him it is about me get yourself together not saying you r the problem but don't let him get to you put a wedge around yourself be strong control yourself. you allow him to control you stop it. The reason i can talk like this is because i have xperience some of this drama (issues) it is crazy He said go out with another man that is something we shouldn't say to a partner someone we love. Basically, to bring this to a end he needs you. you are the person bringing the to the table bread. It should be the other way around. Mostly u need to look @ yourself and decide is this what you want i feel he will never stop trying to control you!!! I would put some fire to his feet. I will never tell a marriage woman or man to leave him partner but i must tell you love youself and your baby never again let a man get in your brain to contol you take time out everyday and think will this ever stop or will it continue then make your mind up......... be good ok

Answer 2

Hi there. Sounds like you have a lot going on. Your primary concern right now should be the health of you and your unborn child. A lot of what you have written focuses on what your boyfriend does or wants. What is it that you wants? Is this the life that you want for yourself or your child? Is he the mate that you want for yourself? Many of the things that you mention are signs of major problems. Although you are pregnant and may be feeling vulnerable you have a lot going for you. You mentioned that you recently graduated college and that you pay the bills so it sounds like you are self reliant. You also mention your family members that want you so it sounds like you have support. Many of the things that your boyfriend is doing sound abusive and also stressful. Consider talking to your family and friends and perhaps even a therapist. At the very least come up with a plan that can help to keep you (and the baby) safe and healthy.

Take care.

Answer 3

Nikki, Nikki, Nikki

What can I say?
I want to cry....

You are destroying yourself, and your unborn child daily.
Think about your child first and foremost. Your baby is what is so important to you.

He doesn't just sound controlling, he is very much so controlling and verbally abusive.

Ask yourself some questions....
What does it benefit you to stay in this relationship?
Do you honestly feel like in your heart that this relationship will get better in the very near future?
Do you feel that he will treat you and your child with the upmost respect and love and provide the example of a good man to your child?
What would it take for you leave him and starting living the life for you and child?
What would you lose, and is it worth losing for your happiness, peace, and a little precious baby in a loving and safe environment?

Pray to God, for your strength and courage.

You know that you need to leave, and for some reason he has you afraid.
But, now the time has come that it is not about him, and barely about you. But, it is about your child.
As a mother, would you want to see your daughter/son go through this?
How do you feel that your family is feeling about you going through this.

You are way better, and you will never know happy life can be until you stand up and say Enough is Enough is Enough.
Why not today?
Why not spend the last 2 months of your pregnany with your family - happy and supported?

You will definitely be in my prays....

Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Help isn't what you need, a ball bat will do.
You graduated college? This is a no brainier
If you have a baby girl, will you let someone talk to her like that?
Will you let someone treat her like that?
I didn't think so.
Your someones daughter, someones baby girl

Run as fast as you can back home, or boot his *** out

You can never let anyone control you for their personal gain.
Find someone that will respect you, and love you no matter what.
I know your educated and I bet pretty, you won't have a problem finding someone, and yes even with a baby.

But I give you some fatherly advise I gave both my daughters, It's no longer about you. It's about that baby. Every thing you say, do, try, get into affects that baby, good, bad, or otherwise.

That baby has to come first in your mind, heart, and soul. So the next choice you make in a man, consider that. You need to concentrate on making a home and a life for you and the baby.

You have to right with yourself before you can be right with someone else, and they need to be right also.

Love will come to you, when it does, he'll be wrapped in love,respect, honor,

My wife and I are newlyweds of 12 yrs. because the above mentioned. A good man will never discourage you, talk down to you,degrade you.

Hope this helps, email me if you need to

Answer 5

He doesn't want you and his child out in the street, indeed, yeah right! What he does not want to do is lose his meal ticket, that is all you are to him. He totally disrespects you and you have allowed it. Remember, people find each other for a reason. He saw a weakness in you and this made you an easy target for him to control. I can tell you this, he would not have gone not even to first base with me with all his control issues. I am trying to be truth full with you so as a way for you to regain your courage, you seemed to have lost it with him. At the first opportunity, get out of there. Go to family and friends who love and care about you and who are able to help you. As beautiful as your child will be, I am sad to say, he will continue to try and control you by using your child. Do all you can to get away from his controlling ways. Next time be more selective in who you have a relationship with. Best of luck to you!

Answer 6

sounds like you have really low self-esteem. why would let any man speak to you this way? he's lucky he has you to pay all the bills and verbally abuse you. this is an bausive relationship & you need to leave. all you've written about is what HE SAYS. what about what you say? who are you? has he totally beaten you down so much that you can't see what he's doing is wrong? and you're having a child with him? imagine how he will treat the child? do you want your child to feel the way you do? be smart lady! find a way out. the longer you stay, the harder it is to leave. leave while you still have some self-repect. you can do so much better.

Answer 7

u r on a one way street to a potentially physically abusive relationship for u and your baby. get out while u still can. all the signs are there and more than likely he will start hitting u as soon as the baby gets here. u r working WAY too hard being pregnant and if u don't get out of some of this stress u are in danger of losing your baby. call your parents and ask for their help. NOBODY should keep u from your family. if anything he should be thanking them for bringing u into this world so he can be blessed by being married to u. please get out before it is too late. i'll be praying for u.

Answer 8

Leave if you make the money and pay the bills you sould have no problem making it on your own. Plus the child support will help you out. You don't need to live like that and you don't need to bring a child in to that situation. Get out while you still can.

Answer 9

He talks down to you in order to feel better about himself. Does that make sense? Its obvious that you bring a lot more to the table than he does - and deep inside it makes him feel like less of a man because he KNOWS you don't need him. Go home to your family, raise your baby in a loving home, and dont ever let a man (or anyone else) take you down to a level you know you dont belong.

Answer 10

please go home to your family and do not look back. he wants to keep you away from your family because they see him for what he is. you are working too hard while you are pregnant. he is also trying to make you feel that no man will ever want to take care of you. that is just not true. there are lots of good men out there who can care for you and be a father to your child. please go home today. do not talk to him on the phone. tell your family you are ready to come home and you need help.