You capture my heart
When I just hear you laugh
And though we are young
You're my missing half
When you're playing with children
And showing them love
You make my heart beat
Like your sent from above
You capture my heart
With your captivating beauty
And inspire me to make
Caring for you my duty
When you're walking, you move
With such style and grace
And I could study all day
Every line of your face
I'll search high and low
Until each other we find
But now for today
You exist in my mind
When we are apart
It's you I will miss
And long once again
To taste your sweet kiss
I'll embrace you so close
Each night and each day
But for now I will search
Till I find you .................Someday
I would like to chat on yahoo IM with any girl who likes my poem (or add me to your buddy list)
2007-03-13 02:56:08 · 9 answers · asked by dwsum41@yahoo.com 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
A little sappy for me, but some girls like that kind of thing. I'm not crazy about the rhyming. Modern poets tend to look on rhyming as a tool to emphasize and support the words. Your poem does the opposite and the words support the rhyme instead. Without the rhyming scheme your poem loses much of your power, try putting that power in the words rather than the patterning. We all gotta start somewhere! Hope this helps.
2007-03-13 03:17:52 · answer #1 · answered by Legolas' Lover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm impressed! I don't know how old you are, but that was great! I love it! I'm a 45 year old single mother and that peom read my mind. I have and do feel that same way! I think you have a talent. Keep up the good work. Sorry, I don't IM or have a buddy list. But If I did, I'd chat with you.
2007-03-13 03:07:28 · answer #2 · answered by georgiarose_01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just beautiful. It has a few kinks in it, but I found only two - pretty rare for such a long poem. Keep writing! Great job!
2007-03-13 03:04:32 · answer #3 · answered by ♫ ∫aoli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww that is soooo sweeet! Im so sure any girl will smile from ear to ear to have someone writing that for her. That is really lovely.... How old are you? Below 20 I suppose? I dont think men my age bothers with poems anymore! *wails*
2007-03-13 03:10:01 · answer #4 · answered by Wish 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're no Edgar Allen Poe and it has a hint of desperateness to it!
2007-03-13 03:08:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW that's beautiful!! it's for a girl???
2007-03-13 03:02:59 · answer #6 · answered by la boucle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
touching. keep writing.
2007-03-13 03:01:31 · answer #7 · answered by freebird31wizard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is good. Good Luck.
2007-03-13 03:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by dgreer58 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your poem is lovely...........
2007-03-13 03:00:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋