Financial Security or True Love?

Question

It is my observations that a large amount of men and woman marry for financial comfort first and true love second. Your thoughts?

Answer 1

It may look that way, but its easier to fall in love with someone who is financially stable than it is to fall in love with a welfare case...just my opinion.

Answer 2

False. If you're financially secure, you have the additional burden of screening out gold-diggers, but part of being a secure, confident male in this society is having your career path straight, so... if you're barely making it, you're probably not operating in even the same emotional (confidence, self-esteem) as one of those few healthy, self-confident women with a good attitude that can go the long haul and make a happy marriage because she's got good character.

The odds of finding such a woman and keeping her because you're smart enough to realize what you have, however, aren't all that good. Que sara, sara.

If marriage were an odds game (and it is if you have poor judgement or character and attitude issues), then you'd have a better than 50% chance of marrying somebody you divorce, and a 40% chance of marrying somebody you stay with because neither of you walk away, but it's a rocky and not too happy marriage.

About 1-in-10 marriages (at most) are generally happy and healthy marriages (approaching the ideal).

Sad facts.

Answer 3

I think my observation has been one that is exactly the oposite of yours. I see many people who were married right after highschool or college, then, later on in life, when one has passed on, the person left marries for financial security.
This is not to say that the 2nd marriages are not with people who can have fun together, enjoy one another's company. I see ladies, especially, marrying men, the 2nd time around, because the ladies do not know how to live alone, have never been in charge of the bank book, and they simply need someone to take care of them. Ladies, do not all get excited at once..............most of us, women, have learned to care for ourselves, have worked, made money, have learned how to run corporations, as well as a home. Still, these are not the ladies who get married, again, so quickly. The ones who DO get married, quickly, are the ones who have not learned these things, and they are afraid to be alone.

Answer 4

Financial security is more imporant these days. Look at the cost of health care and taxes. Just hope the person you meet is madly in love with you and RICH! Like a Rich Greenbill, or Rich Green Cash Or Juslov Cash Or cold hard Cash. dream away. I was never lucky or smart enough to have either! I wasn't smart enough to be a gold digger. I would have settled for anyone who loved me. Today love doesn't mean anything. You better make your own fortune and never get married, and love your self !

Answer 5

I don't think so, my husband and I are far from financially set, but we love each other and we will work through it. I would hope that people would not marry for that reason, but see why a lot of people might want to do that. It make their life a little easier with someone who has financial security.

Answer 6

true to a certain extent. once most people reach adulthood (over 25), they realize that marriages need financial stability to work. no matter how much you love someone, if you can't pay your bills, you will probably argue about it and end up divorcing. $ is the leading cause of divorce so that says something.

i think what most people do is to only consider people that seems financially stable as life partners. in other words, why even entertain a relationship with someone you know would never be able to support the family.

Answer 7

No, that has not been my experience. Everyone I know marries on the same level financially. Sometimes an older man trades his money to marry a young girl, but that is rare rather than the rule.

Answer 8

I think that is true to a point, only because I don't care how in love we are if you can't help pay a bill or take care of the kids financially what are you good for. No one wants a person that can't do anything for them or help provide for there family

Answer 9

MY thought, LOVE is the reason to seek a permanent relationship. Without the emotional involvement, the stress to earn the cost of up keep is not worth the energy.

To decide to marry someone who states they will not seek or attempt to provide the things that you desire to be a part of your life; is a mistake.

This is part of the discussion before the man says, "Will . . . . ". And Definitely before the woman says (Yes). This is part of the Courtship that should be without question before; Family is told of the intent.

It is the only part that every father has to know that he has made clear to the Groom: That his answer is an obligation!

Every man that has risen to this obligation, has found the rewards great, if they are in love with their mate.

Answer 10

As a person that married for love and am now drowning in dept with not even a hope of getting out unless I get divorced, I would have to agree with all those who marry for financial comfort.
I kick myself everyday when I see how miserably I have my kids living and remember the guys that had good money to be with some one that made my heart jump. (Notice I say made... in the past tense) Lack of money and not being able to pay your bills WILL kill the love in a marriage.

Answer 11

Well while I believe love doesn't pay the rent it helps to have a solid job and future.
Love helps - you can grow to love someone though - but I think having that initial spark/and love/lust can't be without you really helps you through the tough times too.
I'd have to say first comes love, second to one is the $.
Or it should be - on the radar.