Hi, I am 19 and am concerned about underage dating. I have looked on a few websites and read a fair amount of Yahoo Answers, but I haven't been able to find the answer that fits my scenario. Ok so, a girl i like (aged 14) is interested in me and wanting to go out. Now I'm guessing anyone reading this out there is thinking; 'he wants sex' or 'date someone your own age' But i really have feelings for this girl. I know the legal laws for age of consent and understand that. So i told her that I do not want to get in trouble and that i do not want to go out. Anything could happen and if i were to accidentally have sex with her than i could get a criminal record or goto jail. I told her that if she is interested when she is 18 and i'm 23 then maybe that could work but for now its not worth it. It seriously feels like true love and i do not know what to do. She keeps telling me that her parents wont care and that she loves me so much and that our age doesn't matter. What do I do?
2007-03-13 01:59:09 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Don't even go there. It only takes one argument and you can have your life ruined. try some 19 year olds for contrast.
2007-03-13 02:02:17 · answer #1 · answered by wizjp 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Beware. This is exactly how my nephew got into trouble and he spent one year in prison, is on the sex offender list for the rest of his life, and is so limited as to where he can live and work that his life is completely ruined. He cannot get any credit, and he is now on 12 years probation. Think about all of this and ask yourself if it is worth it. This little girl can tell you that her parents don't care - believe me, I know how that can backfire. I tell you these things because you seem be concerned about the outcome. You should be. My nephew has to take a lie detector test every year, and he also has to wear an ankle bracelet for the next 12 years. And all because he listened to an underage kid that had a crush on him. He suffers from extreme depression to I may add. I cannot tell you what to do, but you seem like a level headed person. And let me tell you - if I had thought for one minute that my underage daughter was going to be involved with an older man, I would have stopped it immediately somehow. Thankfully I never had to worry about anything like that. My nephew got himself in trouble because he believed the family when they told him it didn't make any difference if he was older. Then turned around and had him arrested and his life is ruined. Can you imagine this - your name on the sex offender list, everytime you want to move, get a new job, get credit, etc., you are turned down when they hear what you have done. And, once you are on that list, you will never be taken off of it. And you will go to prison. Have you yourself talked to her parents? That may be a good start, because how do you know that this young girl is telling the truth. People can say anything they want to, especially a young girl that is attracted to someone older. I wish you the very best, and I will pray that you will make the right decision. I am sure you know what that is.
2007-03-13 02:22:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
How do you "accidentally" have sex? If you don't think you're mature enough to not have sex with this girl - beyond all reasonable doubt in your mind - STAY AWAY!
Her parents won't care? Then why don't you ask them about it? Sit down and talk to them about dating their daughter. See how they really feel about their baby dating a grown man. I'll bet they do care - especially a grown man who thinks he may "accidentally" have sex with her.
It's not worth it. Find a girl your own age or at least one that is of the age of consent in your state. In many states, the age is 16.
BTW - When you're 23, and she's 18, you'll have two years of experience going to bars as a legal adult, and she'll still have three years to wait. Are you sure you want such an age difference at this point in your life?
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2007-03-13 02:02:19 · answer #3 · answered by FozzieBear 7 · 9⤊ 0⤋
I think you did a good job telling this girl that your 19 and that she's underage. It's not worth getting in trouble and I think you should continue finding someone your age and I believe that her parent Would Care if she was with a 19 yr old, don't fall for that.
2007-03-13 02:08:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was older, like 17, then you would find more sympathy here, but since she is 14, I suspect you'll find very little help right now.
You should avoid this relationship at all costs! A girl who is 14 years old may seem like she's mature for her age, but she's still a little girl, and you're a 19-year-old adult.
What frightens me a little, frankly, is the phrase "accidentally have sex with her." Sex is a choice, never an accident. Under no circumstances should you ever let yourself be in a situation where that could occur with a little girl.
Be smart. No attraction is worth ruining your whole life.
2007-03-13 02:10:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Look, I'm not trying to be flippant or judgmental here, okay? I understand your feelings. But let's be realistic; this would only get you in trouble. The most logical thing you said above was about waiting until she is 18 and you are 23. Over time, I suspect you would both become more interested in people that are more age-suitable for each of you. 5 years may not make a big difference later in life. At your ages, it's huge.
I once heard it suggested that anybody with a romantic interest in somebody significantly older or younger than them may have psychological issues. Again, I'm not judging. But if you have a relationship with a pastor or priest you may want to explore that question with him or her, or have him or her refer you to a professional with expertise in that area.
2007-03-13 02:05:59 · answer #6 · answered by lmnop 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Look, the best thing that you can do is stay away from that girl, doesn't matter if you hace feelings towards her or not. In this country a person who is an adult can't date or have sex with a minor and if you engage in a sexual relationship then her parents can put you in jail for statutory rape. You have to listen to yourself and to pay attention to the law because you can be prosecuted and after all the mess you have to be registered as a child molester forever and wherever you move you have to register and will be forever in your record. She's saying that her parents don't care, and I don't believe her, if you want to be sure of that fact, go to her parents and explain the situation and find by yourself the truth. She doesn't have nothing to lose because she's not going to be affected if they find out about the relationship, the only who's going to be in trouble and dragging that forever it will be you. You are 19 years old, why don't you try to going out with girls about your ages or at least 18? You don't need trouble in your life. About the legal laws of consent, maybe is 16 but I doubt it. There is a bright red light for you, stay away from her and run if you can. Girls that age lie because they are so inmature and tell lies that people want to hear. If you were that important to her, she would make arragements to meet her parents and try to talk to them and see what they think and to know the truth about all this. Always put yourself first, it is your life, your future and even your future children would be affected for your early decisions in life. As a mother of 3 kids and your same age my advice is talk to the parents and stay away, God bless you and I wish you the best. Don't waste your life in something that doesn't worth it. Take care.
2007-03-13 02:18:11 · answer #7 · answered by MayanPrincess@sbcgglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
alright. don't do it. a sex offender won't be dating anyone in 5 years. Just find some 17 or 18 year old that would feel the same way. im 19 and finding a girl isn't the hardest thing to do. so basically what i am saying is don't do it. not worth getting into legal trouble over. i have an 18 year old friend who is dating a 15 year old and because of the age difference it just isn't working out all that well.
2007-03-13 02:05:27 · answer #8 · answered by Kyle D 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
When reading the law of my own state, specifically under subsection (a)(2), having sexual contact with someone under 16 while you are over 19 is a Class "A" misdemeanor.
My state law conforms to most other states with the same similar wording.
Section 13A-6-67
Sexual abuse in the second degree.
(a) A person commits the crime of sexual abuse in the second degree if:
(1) He subjects another person to sexual contact who is incapable of consent by reason of some factor other than being less than 16 years old; or
(2) He, being 19 years old or older, subjects another person to sexual contact who is less than 16 years old, but more than 12 years old.
(b) Sexual abuse in second degree is a Class A misdemeanor, except that if a person commits a second or subsequent offense of sexual abuse in the second degree within one year of another sexual offense, the offense is a Class C felony.
(Acts 1977, No. 607, p. 812, §2321; Act 2000-728, p. 1566, §1.)
Being friends with this person is no big deal but don't let your "little head" get your "big head" in trouble!
On a side note...the parents could also be charged with a serious offense for allowing her daughter to engage in activities described above!
Hope this helps....best wishes!
2007-03-13 02:12:55 · answer #9 · answered by KC V ™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you read what you have typed - you know it isnt right in your eyes or in the eyes of the law - and what if her parents found out?? convincing them that you havent had sex (accidentally or not) will be a lost battle for you
I can only imagine that accidental sex is where you accidentally go into the bed room, accidentally get undressed, accidentally get aroused and put a condom on and accidentally assume the position (for want of a better phrase)
If your 19 then for goodness sake grow up and use your head and realise that sex is never accidental
2007-03-13 02:32:58 · answer #10 · answered by heckuvapeach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age does and doesnt matter. when it comes to a 19yr old and 14yr old yes it does matter. This girl is young and will tell you what you want to hear cos she think she has a chance then. Her parents will care it their little daughter who they dont know differnent might harm her e.g have sex with her.
This is just my opinion but leave her alone until she is at least 16.
2007-03-13 02:04:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋