Hi, I am 19 and am concerned about underage dating. I have looked on a few websites and read a fair amount of Yahoo Answers, but I haven't been able to find the answer that fits my scenario. Ok so, a girl i like (aged 14) is interested in me and wanting to go out. Now I'm guessing anyone reading this out there is thinking; 'he wants sex' or 'date someone your own age' But i really have feelings for this girl. I know the legal laws for age of consent and understand that. So i told her that I do not want to get in trouble and that i do not want to go out. Anything could happen and if i were to accidentally have sex with her than i could get a criminal record or goto jail. I told her that if she is interested when she is 18 and i'm 23 then maybe that could work but for now its not worth it. It seriously feels like true love and i do not know what to do. She keeps telling me that her parents wont care and that she loves me so much and that our age doesn't matter. What do I do?
2007-03-13 01:55:50 · 67 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Stay away.
2007-03-13 03:23:27 · answer #1 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not going to jump on the bandwagon and start asking how can you accidently have sex. I know what you are talking about.
My mum was in love with a man older than her, same age gap I think, and he truely loved her back. They were together for about 6 years. The problem was then and where she was living the stigma was not about having sex, but getting pregnant.
They would kiss and cuddle and their lust would be so strong that I know she wanted to, but the only thing stopping her was society's view on teenage pregnancy.
These things happen. You cant explain you attraction and emotions towards this girl.
But remember, no how mature either of you thinks she is, the age difference now is huge compared to what it will be like at 18. She doesnt even know her own body at the moment. She is going through so many changes she probably hasnt even got developed breasts yet.
Give her space, and your self some too. If you feel the same in 6 months, a year or 2, then yes maybe it is something that is worth delving into.
Good luck, and I hope you make the right choice.
2007-03-13 02:13:50 · answer #2 · answered by natasha * 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh, what a question. Like you don't know the answer already!
Stay away from her. What the hell do you know about love - she's 14 years old, for God's sake. Ask yourself if it would excite you or gross you out to know if she still plays with dolls but just won't admit it!
What a question. It seriously feels like true love. Well, that proves something - for you, true love has a tinge of perversion to it.
'IF I were accidentally to have sex with her...' If anyone ever described accidentally having sex with a 14 year old from the ripe old age of 19, I'd have the cops over and handcuffs on the guy just for being such a stupid liar.
Are you hoping for someone to pat you on the back and say, 'Thanks for having such pure intentions, my friend, as regards this sweet young jailbait you've been circling around like a criminal stalker... ' ? Dream on, fella.
You do not know what to do. Gee - here's a recipe for success in your case: tell her parents exactly what you wrote here. If her parents are not completely insane or drugged-out alcoholics and have a lick of sense, her father will get a restraining order against you for his daughter. Then that daughter would have a lot of explaining to do, too.
2007-03-16 08:24:27 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hrm right...ok.
First thing i think you both should do is talk to her parents about it, see how they feel-make it clear that your feelings are true and pure and also make it very clear that you don't have any intention taking advantage of her and that you are both willing to wait until she is old enough before you think about taking the relationship further...because I'm sure if you both feel like this is the real thing then you both can wait...cant you?
And if they are still not comfortable with it then you will both have to wait until she is old enough. Don't start seeing each other behind her parents back, because if they found out then they will never be happy with you seeing her EVER! Trust me!
And that's not what you want.
I can understand how messed up your head must be, A few years ago i started seeing my boyfriend when i was 15, he was 19. We spoken to my parents and done everything that i have advised you to do, and we waited a year before we done anything and i think waiting made our relationship alot better, stronger and really brought alot of trust to it. And we are still together now and still as happy as we ever where!
I hope it all works out for you!
Good Luck x
2007-03-16 21:54:14 · answer #4 · answered by Danni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from her she is"too young" for you,i have a 13 (nearly 14 year old") daughter and me and her dad would have a real big problem if a 19 yr old wanted to go out with her believe me.
Listen to your own advice (what you told the girl) one thing can lead to another and you will end up in jail and be classed as a sex offender at 19?
My advice to you would be find someone your own age.
2007-03-14 03:06:45 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STAY AWAY. Are you insane or do you have a low mental age, what sort of question is this. 14, 14 years old are you crazy. She is so immature and going through so much growing at the moment, you or anyone else would be simply preying on a young confused girl.
As you get older age matters less but you are 25% older than her. When you were 15 should would've 9 would you still be asking the same question.
2007-03-16 03:08:17 · answer #6 · answered by Zaksta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you 'accidentally have sex'? YOU are now a man and responsible so you can't accidentally have sex at all with a child.
You MUST stay well clear otherwise you will find yourself in lots of trouble. A 14 year old is still a child.
Go and meet girls your own age and for get this one.
She may say her parents wouldn't care but that's the child in her talking. Her parents would probably be ready to jump on you if they new you were wanting their child to date.
2007-03-14 22:45:52 · answer #7 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have the right attitude. Waiting a few years, could make a lot of difference. It is very good of you to say that waiting and seeing how you both feel in a few years, shows great respect for her, and her family. Her parents will care, she is their daughter. How would you feel if you had a fourteen year old daughter and found out she had a full blown relationship with a guy of 19? Im sure your fatherly instincts would kick in. You never know, in those years you feelings for each other could get greater, then it would really be woth the wait. Stick by your guns, though its hard for you, I'm sure, you are doing the right thing, by you, her and her family and friends.
2007-03-13 03:07:54 · answer #8 · answered by Need_to_know 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the answer! You leave her well alone. You wouldn't just get a criminal record if you are UK resident. You could end up on the Sex Offenders register too. Being 'persuaded' by a 14 year old child is no defence. Okay you're 19, but when does this become okay? When you're 22, 32? See what I mean. Don't do it to yourself, or her. I doubt that at 14 she really knows what she wants for herself/ future.
Good for you for thinking about it though. Please don't though!
2007-03-14 07:05:29 · answer #9 · answered by crabbit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm this is a tricky one because its not like she's only just underage. She is only 14. And I can see her parents having a huge problem. Also you two are on completely different wave lengths at the moment. You have a lot more experience of the world than she does and if you two went together you may find that she is too immature, just a kid.
In my opinion, you should wait until she's at least sixteen and legal. Then you don't have the fact that your dating an underage girl on your concious
2007-03-13 02:47:14 · answer #10 · answered by MrsMatsuyama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off for the girl that said 16 not 18... it depends on where you are... most places it's 18... when you're a legal adult... other wise it's statutory rape... you really don't want to go to jail... right... so i say stear clear of her until she is of age... you guys can be friends... just friends... not even friends with benefits... tell her to talk to someone else... at least about this... and to find someone closer to her age... ahe's still a baby... whether she likes it or not she is... and the last thing she needs right now is a 5 year difference between her and her boyfriend... tell her to concentrate more in her school work... she'll need a good education...
2007-03-13 03:14:26 · answer #11 · answered by damiens_mommy_05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋