Parents to teenagers only*?

Question

What would you do if you found your 16 year old daughter smoking pot in her bedroom? (more than once?)

Answer 1

Better that than on the street, don't you think? I would leave her to it If I were you.....I'd much rather they were doing that than all the other hard drugs there are out there!

Answer 2

Well, as a mother, I can understand your concern, and I think that the way you deal with the situation should be determined by your daughters personality and the relationship that you have with her.

For example: If it was the first time you caught her I would say to talk to her about it in as understanding a way as you can. the last thing you want it for her to distance herself from you.

However, you mention that this is not the first time she has been caught doing this, so I say what she needs is a reality check aka: getting the SH*T scared out of her. If you say to her that she may not live under your roof while doing such things, the chances are that she'll get the message, and stop.

But depending on her personality (or if you like: her level of obedience) she may not take you seriously, especially if you have said that before, and then not followed it up.

If this is the case, and she still isn't taking you seriously, tell her that SHE is forcing YOU to call the cops.
This firstly gives HER a sense of control over the situation, so that she knows that she can prevent you from calling the dreaded cops by stopping smoking! If se realises that, your'e on your way to success.
But, make sure she knows that if you catch her at it ONE MORE TIME you will call the police. And if that becomes the case, YOU MUST FOLLOW THROUGH! If you give her a warning like that, and she does not heed that warning, you must do what it it you have sais you would do, otherwise, she learns that you are just full of empty threats, an you will get nowhere.

Now, having said all that, and I know it may sound like I'm making a very big deal out of it, and it's all very scary, but I also hav to say that teenagers are prone to alot of peer pressure (As I'm sure you are well aware of!) and I assure you that although it may seem at times, like your innocent little girl has turned in to some kind of creature from outer space, there is light at the end of the tunnel!

The best of luck!

Sheila.

Answer 3

Ok, I am going to be quite honest. I am a marijuana smoker. I have been for almost a year now. I am 18 yrs old. See the thing parents dont realize, is that for most kids, telling someone not to do something is just going to make them want to do it even more. And for me, curiosity was the main reason i tried it. And I do like it. I also have a very successful life for an 18 yr old girl. I have alot of friends that would die for me, a respectable job, good physical health with varsity cheerleading, and going off to college in the fall. My parents found my stash in my car and my mother completely flipped out on me. And asked me where I got it. I dont know If u realize it or not, dealers aren't the nicest of all people. They are very shady and cannot be trusted with anything. Asking your daughter who she got it from would be a very bad idea. If anyone finds out that she told u who her dealer was, she could get into alot of trouble. B/c it isn't against her and one guy with all the weed. Its her against the guy and his entire network of connections. The best thing to do would be to monitor the people she hangs out with, make sure she's safe, and let her know that if she ever needs you to come and get her somewhere, u will, without getting angry. Smoking weed has gotten a very bad reputation over the century. It isnt as bad as the media turned it into. I hope everything turns out alright for you and your daughter. Just let her grow up, she should be able to start making her own decisions about her lifestyle choices. Better weed that cigarrettes or alcohol (both of which are addicting) weed isn't physically addicting. Good Luck.

Answer 4

I live in the Netherlands where marijuana is perfectly acceptable. For this reason, most people do not even partake in the act of using it. Why? Because we don't stigmatize it! Marijuana is NOT a "gateway drug" despite how many close minded responses you may get. If you take the negative stigma off of the issue then there will be no "oooh ahhh woooow" left to give the issue at hand.

I think the both of you need to sit down and have a heart to heart chat and you need to let her know that while you cannot literally prevent her from smoking it, it IS your house in the end and she needs to respect your wishes of not smoking it in the house.

Honestly, I think you just need to leave the issue alone because if you harp on it, it's only going to reiterate her smoking it and will cause more problems then it's worth. My humble opinion is that if your daughter is not "that kid" who's constantly in trouble with the police, then let her smoke it at home. I'd much rather my daughter smoke within my home than go out and party and get herself into a stupid situation like all teens do at one point or another. At least if she's in your home then you can have full watch of her versus worrying yourself sick over whether or not she's okay.

Answer 5

Tell her it is illegal, and reflects badly on the family. If she wants to be a criminal, she can do so when she's 18, and it is her life. Until then, you're responsible.

Take her stash, and flush it, or turn it over to the police, and ask for their help.

What people don't realize is that not all weed is gotten by cash. Sometimes by sex. Once she's hooked up with a dealer for it, or worse, she's done. Prostitute. She won't believe it now, but it happens, all too frequently.

Demand to know who sold it to her. That person needs to go down.

In the meantime, read the news about what drug crime from Mexico traffickers is doing to the Laredo, Texas area. Do you want that in your house?

It's fueled by people like your daughter, buying it from local dealers who are buying it in bulk from city dealers, etc.

Answer 6

The first time: Get her into counseling for drug abuse. If she's 16, she's already learned about the dangers of drugs from school health classes.

The next time: Call the cops and press "unruly juvenile" charges against her. God did not give us children to be their FRIENDS...they HAVE friends. We are to be the PARENT, and it's not always an easy job, especially once they get to high school!

I don't care WHAT anybody else says, pot is not only illegal, it is unsafe and leads to the use of more dangerous drugs. I would not risk my daughter's health and everything my husband and I have worked so hard for just because my teenage daughter decides to rebel by sneaking illegal drugs into our home.

I have a NO-TOLERANCE rule for illegal activity of ANY kind in my home, because I have a NO-TOLERANCE rule for DISRESPECT of ANY kind in my home.

Answer 7

Talk to her try to incourage her to be open with you. You may be upset to hear certain things but its better then them being kept from you. remeber that you were once her age and experimentation is part of life and growing up sometimes you need to let children makes mistakes so they can learn hands on but always be around just in case things go too far im sure u undastand. pot or weed/ canabis is considered a minor drug and is usually tested and smoked by teenagers most grow out of it anyway ist just something that she can look bak on as an adult and say she has tried it. never shout and be angry as this will put her off from being open with you try to gain her trust.

Answer 8

explain the dangers of cannabis, tell her about the side-effects from smoking & ban it from ur home.
at 16 she should have better things 2 spend her time & money on, than weed.
it's an addiction she could really do without.
but if ur ok with the occasional smoke & things don't get outta hand.
i find that when teenagers have more constrictions or rules, they just become more determined 2 smoke it.
just make sure she smokes outside away from others.

Answer 9

Im 17 but I used to be into all that,
dont give her chances that she can get it...
shes not being respectful of you asking her not too(plus its against the law) but she might scream at you yell slam the door and act like a 2 yr old case shes not getting her way but in the end she will think about everything. Id sneak out and do stuff like that and my parents took my door away, my cell phone, house phone unless Id sit in the room, the thing on my window so I couldnt open it...stuff like that they had to do that stuff to me for like three months and I hated it and I hated them but I see now I was screwing up my life....
Stay stong with what you say though, if you give in to one thing shell try it again...shell look for what works but stay strong....she doesnt need a best friend right now she needs a parent!

Answer 10

There isnt alot you can do as she is 16 and legal to smoke. however she should not be smoking pot in her room. i would tell her how dissappionted in her you are. I know when i let my mum down its the worst thing if shes disappointed in me, i wouldnt do it again.

Answer 11

mom to 5 teens, i would rather have my kids talk to me about stuff like this inside of getting there info from the streets, i always had a open mind when it comes to these things so they share with me there thoughts, like i tell them im your mom but yet i can be a friend at the same time, what i say goes in my home, besides it stinks, i belive drinking should be illigal i never heard someone smoking and get in a car accident but to answer your question tell her you dont like that in your home, but be prepared that dont mean she will stop she will now go to her friends there friends and you wont have a clue what she is doing!! good luck nowadays kids should focus more on there education this is a rough world we live in!!